***stardust

As usual, Laur's got a much better Memorial Day blurb up...
But here's my take on today, anyways, for what it's worth...(isn't that a song? forget who it's by..)

Was definitely interesting, today...played with the band at two different Memorial Day ceremonies this morning.
...and it was kind of odd for me...the girls I was standing by were getting antsy, shuffling, whispering, wondering how much longer it was all going to go on..and I guess it prolly *was* kinda dragging..but I didn't really notice, for the first time in the three years I've played Memorial Day.
It was truly a gorgeous day...we stood outside in the warm morning sun, on the grass in front of the library..err, town hall, is it now? whatever... But it was so beautiful, the sky a totally clear, bright blue...that elusive shade of luminescent blue that's so hard to pin down anyplace tangible, you can usually only ever see it in the sky...the grass and the leaves on the trees were such a *living* green...I usually don't go much for green, except when it's that golden-green of the sun shining on and throught leaves..one of the most beautiful sights I've seen... And I stood up straight, flute in my hands, for once still, just listening, and looking...this's me, the one who's always got something else to do, sketchbook story whatever, I'm always doing so many thigns at once...yet, I just..absorbed it all this morning. Listened to the speeches,
looked around at all the different people gathered there...a little girl in a white dress with the veterans' red poppies in her hair...a slightly-grungy looking guy on a bike, parked under a tree, still sitting on his bike - decided he was just cool, that's like something I would do...the military people, standing so straight at attention...the photographer, snapping away as wreaths were placed on the memorial - hey, that could be *me*! *smile*...just looking around, observing other people, trying to see what they're like, listening to them..always fascinating to me.

...as we had watched the tail end of the parade, I was thinking...parades really *are* strange things. Clusters of people walking down streets, others watching them...fire trucks and police cars going by, and while yeah, now, we may cheer them on...they go down the streets, sirens blaring lights flashing and the kids scream and cheer..or plug their ears, as they should..cos these are the sounds of disaster.
...
...and we watch people march past, in regimented blocks...and we admire the discipline etc. but...why do we enjoy these things? It's really very, very odd...

But I started thinking...at both services, there was an opening prayer, a benediction...and these are *religious* things, even the speeches, God bless this, God bless that...and it doesn't offend me in the least but maybe it does..
..cos while yeah, I could say what about freedom of religion etc., I won't, cos this country was *founded* on Christian ideals...and..I think, thinking about it now..it's Christian ideals that help keep this country afloat, in a free society there's a good deal of trust involved..actually, yeah, that was a point mentioned in someone's speech today, that a country with great freedom leaves open a lot of freedom for wrongdoing, and I thought of what I've just been (re-)reading in C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity, that God gave us free will, and that leaves us free to do good or evil, it's not that He *wanted* there to be evil, but that it was a necessary risk cos without free will we'd just be automated drones, an' what's the point and what's the good in that? ...but the point I was making, was that without at least some Christian-oriented ideals, we'd *really* be in a mess...
..but the thing that bugged me, I think, about all their religiousness..
...
..dude. I see what it was now.
I was thinking, do they really mean all of it? Cos at the end of one of the speeches, they're just goin on, listing off, "God Bless all of you, God Bless our soldiers, God Bless the souls of the dead, God Bless America.." etc etc etc. And it *was* a list.
And then, too, it seemed...almost put-on, like an expected thing, like it was just a part of the expected patriotism.
And that's what just hit me.
Lewis' The Screwtape Letters, that was one of the things that Screwtape, the senior demon, suggested...
The book is set during wartime. He suggests that Wormwood, the junior demon, tries to make "his patient"'s religion merely a part of his partiotism, or involvement in some group..so that he keeps up the appearance, but the religion, the faith, is merely an expected part of this (seemingly) much larger Cause.
...so...is that what I was seeing, then?
..maybe it's just me, and I'm growing cynical in my old age (shut UP, Daf Laur and Zinni!..I may be "elderly" but I could still take you all! *g*)...
I dunno...

Went to McDonald's for breakfast - bacon cheese & egg McMuffins are *seriously* frickin' good... ^_^

Then went over to the elementary school to play there...and we had a bunch of downtime before we started, so we just hung out, sat down and got sunburnt...I held onto my flute, and just played..picked a key, and made something up, and it was actually going quite well..<3 Dm! ^_^...tho Am and I think it was F were going quite well, too..just these random, pretty little things..('least, they sounded pretty to *me*..'course, did anyone else even hear me at all? not that it matters..)
And we got up, and played, and listened to more speeches...
..and it was odd, they said the same things, down to some of the same phrases...I *hate* clichês!!!..gahhhh...but just like, I dunno...Dad may have a point, I think they're a bit long-winded at times...and it's kind of strange, because they *are* so very formal, not in dress per se but in the organization and action and all of it...
And I got a little more bored this time, cos it was HOT, and it was a bit longer, I think. and a lot of it was redundent...so I looked up at the beautiful old brick school (which I never went to, think I've only been inside once), as it stood against the still-clear blue sky...I *love* that look, the red-orange brick outlined against the bright blue sky..was the same sort of thing in Italy, esp. Venice, the smooth solid stucco buildings before the clear blue sky...and I thought about how nice it was, the old architecture, how if it was to be built now it'd just be a drab, functional structure, instead of being ornamented, pillars in front, cupola and bell on the top, far above our heads...

Was one thing that definitely bugged me, tho. One of the speakers..gahh..kinda pissed me off. He started talking about patriotism, how it's so often ignored and generally uncool now..and he talked about someone who'd asked some college kids in New YOrk City, not long after September 11, if they'd like, fight for the country (or something to that affect). And they said no, giving different reasons..one didn't want to risk their dream of being a film director, one said they didn't have the killer-mindset for it, the other said, 'Well, the whole thing was America's fault, wasn't it?' "Now, do *you* believe that?!" the speaker demanded.
Yes, to a point, I thought. ...that's the thing, all these people were all like, 'How can they *hate* us?', but "It's very simple", it really is..we're rich, greedy, loud, obnoxious, often stupid, and generally arrogant bastards. At least as a stereotype. Most of us aren't as individuals, but..*shrug* We have our stereotypes of those in other countries, 's only fair they'd have similar stereotypes about us.
Yeah, I do hold some respect for fighting for what you believe is right, for fighting to preserve freedom...but I thank God there's no draft, I pray I'll never have to kill...cos I'm torn, cos I know killing's wrong, I believe that so very strongly, no matter what the situation is, war death sentance abortion suicide, it's all so very wrong...
But...what this guy was saying, how he was presenting it, felt very accusatory to me, maybe partly because he *was* accusing me, those're kids *my* age he's knocking, and their opinions most likely have good reason, they've put thought into them, and he's all just "look at these kids today, they have no sense of responsibility etc etc etc they're lazy and do nothing etc etc etc and so society's going to Hell in a handbasket etc etc etc..." I hate that. I thought they thought better of "young people" by now but I guess not...I respected these kids for having their own opinions, and being brave enough to speak them without fear.
And okay, to be fair, this guy had his points, but... I didn't like having the finger pointed at me like that, no I'm not signing up for the army, but I don't want to do something that I'm not sure I agree with morally. I don't agree with the terrorist attacks, not in the least, but how many of *their* civilians have we killed now?
*Those* are the numbers you never hear...
And I guess I am growing cynical...dug into the '60s mindset a bit much, I guess, but...

So it was a very odd day...

(And then of course there's the rest, but that I mentioned earlier, and really isn't esp. relevent just now anyways..)

*Ananda Daydream * 11:00 PM * *

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