***stardust

Right. S'pose I should fill y'all in on lunch today...
meh. horridly anticlimatic. bleh. I am such a frickin' dipwad. I hate it.
...woke up an hour earlier'n I'd planned, which was just annoying. Got all ready, put on some of my new clothes for school, all nice and reasonably tame *g*... (I asked Teraa if I looked alright, she said yeah..."you look more normal than I've *ever* seen you!"...*g*) Blake called about ten to noon, to make sure I was ready (good idea...he knows I'm not usually *awake* before noon, if I can help it *g*).
So, he picked me up, we chatted a bit on the way to Jitter's...(oh, and Teraa? he says you're actually very nice. esp. with trying to get him an lj code. *smile*)
Got there, and it was busier'n either of us had *ever* seen it. Was crazy. Got in there, bumped into old math teachers (cool for him, less so for me... x___x ...remember, he's the math-minded one, not me! ...the boy's takin' Calc 2 this semester, and I'd thanking God that I never have to take *any* math *EVER* again!!!! *laugh*)...
Fortunately for us, tho it was busy, there was a checker-table free. So, we sat down, and played.
And...
He beat me.
Twice.
Which sucked, miserably. *No-one* ever beats me at checkers!!! ...Dad still can occasionally, but that's only fiar cos he's the one who taught me. But Blake?! I kicked his butt twice in a row last time!
*laugh*
He kept sputtering that this was a mistake, he wasn't supposed to win, somehow I'd still manage to win (tho he had like, three kings, and I had one...second game, I was outnumbered about five to one...blah)...
After he beat me twice (which was terrible...terrible... ..*laugh*), we sat and chatted about random stuff for a bit...about ten to one, he said he had to go about one, his parents had only let him off for about an hour (he leaves tomorrow, today was his family day)...but we didn't actually leave 'til about 1.30...*smile*
So yeah, talked some about college, roommates, new cpus, things like that...him not showing up the other night came up twice, I think...he really *did* feel bad..."the *one* time I didn't drive...now I remember why I never liked getting rides from people..."
...he drove me home, pulled into the driveway...I gave him his grad card...and then...
"Blake...do you remember this?"
I pulled out a small box, opened it, and took out the orange, heart-shaped, scented soap, with the words "sweet heart" on it.....
"Looks like Avon." [note: his mom and my mom both used to be avon ladies when we were little...his mom might be still, not sure offhand...]
"*laugh* Yeah, it is...do you remember it?"
...back in Kindergarten, first grade, I went to school here. But there're three elementary schools in the district, and he and I went to different ones. His mom, however, worked in my school's cafeteria, I'd always go over and say hi to her when I went to take up my lunch tray or whatever. And I don't remember if it was Kindergarten or 1st, but one of those Valentine's Days...she gave the heart-shaped soap to me, from him. And I've kept it ever since. It's been in the same drawer of my desk, almost in the same exact place, all these years...
...and I told him all this..."yeah...I *do* kind of remember it now..."...and he smiled and seemed surprised, I think...*smile*
But that made me happy. :)
We sat there for a minute in silence... "Blake..I don't know how to say goodbye..." ..I barely got it out, I choked up...looked over at him...and leaned (awkwardly) across the seat to give him a hug, lay my head on his shoulder..."it'll be okay...we'll have ims...we stayed friends before..." "yeah...I know, but..." ...and I sat back up (leaning across the front seats of a caar does *not* work >_< ) ..."...and there are vacations, too..." "yeah...do you have a few days off in October?" "I don't think so...but I'll be home like every weekend, so it doesn't matter..." "right..." ...and I went to get out of the car, the door was still locked from teh engine being on, he unlocked it, I got out..."goobye, good luck getting moved in and everything..." "you too...goodbye..." ...and I hurried up to my door, still choking up...

blah. see, didn't that *suck*?! ..gahhhhh....no, I don't feel *that* bad about it, somehow, I knew it'd be that way, I s'pose...and besides, I think I'd already really said goodbye...the e-mail I sent not long ago, the note I wrote, the choral banquet...I think it was that dance that was our true goodbye, almost.....

Right. So I'm gonna stop blathering now.....enough of my sad little lack-of-a-lovelife. That's been taking up far too much brain-time lately, and that's starting to bother me a little...

*Ananda Daydream * 10:35 PM * *

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~