***stardust

So, I wrote a lot last night, and I think most of it's shite, but... well, here's some of it, anyway, for what it's worth. *shrugs* (And no, all this writing doesn't mean I'm switching to an english major. hell no. it'd be awesome but I'm not *that* good..... ... ...not, of course, that I'm that good in *anything*, I mean, I am, but not anywhere near the best, even in the lowest band I'm feeling way out-done, drawing class I know'll be the same now that I'm in with art majors...*sighs* blah.)

-=-

Stars which once seemed so bright
   so light
   shimmering suns of other worlds
have now grown dim
   not dark
   but faded and tired, worn

Cos tonight I've looked up at them
   like other nights
   seeking for something I can't ask
   Begging without a sound
   pleading with my own tired soul
   a heart faded
   no longer strong
   no long a sun to anyone...

-=-

they talk too loud
endless chattering and overloud laughter
listening hurts

and the more there are around me
the more I feel alone

It's such an old grey story
but that doesn't make it any less real

I curl up tightly inside fearing
to be approached yet
somewhere longing.....

not wanting but perhaps needing

-=-

a pale grey feather lights on the ground fallen
from some other place
above, below, even it no long knows for
it has been blown about for so long.....

something once soft and gentle heavied
by the rain and turned brittle
by the cold and shredded and
torn and nothing can make it once more
what it once was

a heart that falls tumbles crashing
to the floor beneath a thousand
clamouring titters of polite laughter
  (they dance lightly around the pieces trusting
  that of course someone else will clear it up)

nothing can once more make it---

-=-

ok these next two are the ones I think are closer to, y'know, decent, of the lot..the above have things I like about them, but overall are just..geh. *shrugs* I dunno.
...
...I really wish I could write.....

anyway, the next one here began with me watching a Sigur Ros concert-bit, the first verse in particular...
..the one following that has touches of things from L.M. Montgomery's Magic for Marigold, which I'm currently re-reading..

-=-

lips parted sounds
pouring without words
   which would not be seen anyway

colour faded from
these eyes which could
   never see what you saw

ears which hear
and distinguish the tremble
   in the heart you cannot feel

and these sounds
fill your vision
   and your heart cries out

with a soul
blinded in even starlight
   plucked dry outside the desert

and rain refills the
once-empty eyes
   gentian grown in moonlight

and these sounds that
flood your eyes clench
   your heart with hunger

-=-

a sky no more than
  glitter spilled on a
  thin bedsheet
    too thin for the shivering child
    inside who clutches at it all
    the same as a dead maiden
    might a single pale lily
      in hands that once shone in
      the moonlight reflected from
      a lover's eyes
        which have long-ago turned away
        from the girl he promised to the
        girl who aches to love him
        again so she looks to
the sky which has grown thin
and tawdry moonfaded and washed by
a thousand falling stars that bleach
the darkness
  and nothing is as it should
  and our eyes see our dreams
  not fulfilled but penciled
  roughly in nothing connects quite
  right and the beauty we had
  envisioned refuses to leave our fingers
  and be seen

*Ananda Daydream * 8:17 PM * *

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