***stardust

*sighs*
I should sleep. Have been semi-bored for hours, am tired, and am probably to be at my grandparents' tomorrow by probably like noon...
But tantis and himeros came in about two hours ago...with two girls in tow.
They've been up in matt's room the whole time, except for himeros coming downstairs, with a few fish in a bag set in a fishbowl, asking if we knew what to do with them. fortunately, merani did, but.. anyway yeah.

..ok take that back, one girl just left, I think. Said hi and introduced herself as she went by.
So I should really be good and not pass judgement on people, really I shouldn't.. *half-laughs* but it's so hard sometimes... I know what my brother and his friends are like, I know the sort of girl that'll probably be around them. (I also know that tantis and himeros are, at heart, far better than they would seem by their associates..but that's another story.)
k nm she's back anyway. *laughs* seems nice enough.. *shrugs* still.

But yeah.. set me into somewhat of a mental-thing, but it's utterly silly and I know it so I won't go into it here. (tho megs, I'm e-mailing you cos I always do, and yeah. *laughs and huuugs*) Anyway, yeah, whatever. Worked on my abandoned-angel drawing for class for something like an hour..still have a semi-distressing ways to go on it. And I *can't* fecking draw rock, I don't know why I thought that might've changed..ah well. Will grab a giant random rock from my room and study and draw and figure it out, will be good for me anyway. *g* And maybe that'll help make what's supposed to be a stone sculpture look less disturbingly human.. it's all a sort of reddish-sepia, that's not helping, nor is the fact that I might've actually gotten proportions pretty right for once. *laughs* But we'll see how it all works out in the end..I've a fair ways to go with getting the things fully drawn in, to say nothing of touch-up and detail-work. The Mackie drawing, btw, is pretty much done. I think. I should go in and smooth over some spots that got rubbed away and things, and I'll see if I fixed the nameless-bishie-demon-guy's neck-area properly, but..
This is where I wish I had a digital camera, cos these things are 18"x24", faaaar too large for my scanner. which would utterly butcher the colours (esp. on the Mack one) anyway. :p

For anyone curious, btw, Himeros.. yeah. *half-laughs* We talked on aim for quite awhile the night I stayed over at Mom's (Saturday..plans changed from what I'd posted that day), and he was being all sweet and just.. he missed me, said so, and it was clear anyway.
He first tells me this three months after I've left?
He's been over a fair bit with tantis, so I've seen him in brief spurts and whatever, chatted a bit, he looked at the drawings I brought back (tho he didn't say much :p ..he did say he liked the bit of the mack-fic I had as an away, tho), stopped down here to play with mel's strobe light for awhile last night and stuff... IMed me for rather awhile, came downstairs to get food, then on his way back up, walked over to me and half-hugged me (I was wrapped up in a blanket, so leaned a little into him but didn't move my arms or anything).. and leaned in to kiss me. I turned my head to ensure he only got my cheek.. then he went back upstairs.

Don't worry, I'm not about to let anything happen.. *laughs* certainly not this break, it's half-over and it was only a week long to begin with, but.. unless some things change (which they haven't yet).. no. I'm not gonna go through that all over again, if he barely talked to me these past few months, and only now that I'm home decides he missed me and whatever.. he couldn't've missed me that much. Despite what my body may think, my mind and heart know they need more than that, far more.
It's someone to *love* me that I'm so hungry for..not someone to randomly snog me. Not that that's bad, but.. *laughs* in the right context, there has to be something behind it, there really does. And Himeros cares, but..not enough for what he'd do with me. :p

..ok merani might be right, i-tunes has its cool aspects. listening to a german indie station. I like. ^_^

*Ananda Daydream * 1:55 AM * *

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~