So it's Tom'n'my one month anniversary today...

...and I'm missing him way too much. *sighs*

I think that's the underlying reason I'm feeling so bleh today, though there's lots helping. I'm tired, it's unbelievably grey and drab out, snowing too little for it to be pretty but enough to reinforce the fact that it's still winter, I've impossible amounts of things to still go through, I feel like I've made no progress, yet I'm exhausted from all I've done... and looking through old things is fun, yeah, but at the same time.. I can't begin to count the number of awards I've found, positive comments from teachers, straight-A report cards, all these signs of all these accomplishments I managed in the past...and what have I got to show for the last few years? I feel so much smaller than I was..
Again.
I thought I was done with this, I've worked it through before.. but now it's back, even in things like that poem, not in the actual words but in the meaning, the boldness and determination to change the world, to accomplish something.. I've lost that, to a large degree. I worry now about conveying an emotion or a sense of history or some heart-tugging story, not about bringing to the attention of the world all the things that need fixed... To an extent, it's probably a narrowing of goals that needs to happen, finding what I *can* do, and focusing on that, but..
I don't feel like the person I once wanted to be.
I know there are so many things that have changed for the better in me..and for the most part, I really do like who I am, and what I do, but... it doesn't feel like enough.

*sighs, shaking head* I'm sure this'll pass, always does, don't worry too much about me.. I'm sure I'll feel better before long, just a random bout of angst that was probably overdue anyway.