Reading:
        PThe Nightingale and the Rose, Oscar Wilde

        Audiobooking:
        The Sorrows of Young Werther, Goethe


        Watching:
        Farscape


        Doing:
        Way behind on all crochet.
        It is NaNoNovember!






        anandadaydream's Profile Page



        blogger profile
        library thing
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        desert songs
        amaranth and jasmine
        emulsion01
        my lj

        

        Amaranthus, continued (NaNoWriMo 2010)
        untitled (2009)
        untitled (2008)
        Amaranthus (NaNoWriMo 2007)
        untitled (2006)
        Beneath the Dust (2005)
        Mortal Angel (2005)

        quid pro quo
        modernday phoenix
        life of a naturefreak

        xkcd
        yu+me
        lesbian pirates
        questionable content
        the dreamer
        joe the circle

        101 cookbooks
        threadless
        i can haz cheezburger
        blogger

        the hunger site
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        the ONE campaign
        amnesty international

        

        the quote lists:
        2004-2005
        summer 2004
        2003-2004
        (rest to come once I get them online again~)


          the massive archives:
          12/09/2001 - 12/16/2001
          12/16/2001 - 12/23/2001
          12/23/2001 - 12/30/2001
          12/30/2001 - 01/06/2002
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          01/30/2011 - 02/06/2011

3.23.2005
 
So it's Tom'n'my one month anniversary today...

...and I'm missing him way too much. *sighs*

I think that's the underlying reason I'm feeling so bleh today, though there's lots helping. I'm tired, it's unbelievably grey and drab out, snowing too little for it to be pretty but enough to reinforce the fact that it's still winter, I've impossible amounts of things to still go through, I feel like I've made no progress, yet I'm exhausted from all I've done... and looking through old things is fun, yeah, but at the same time.. I can't begin to count the number of awards I've found, positive comments from teachers, straight-A report cards, all these signs of all these accomplishments I managed in the past...and what have I got to show for the last few years? I feel so much smaller than I was..
Again.
I thought I was done with this, I've worked it through before.. but now it's back, even in things like that poem, not in the actual words but in the meaning, the boldness and determination to change the world, to accomplish something.. I've lost that, to a large degree. I worry now about conveying an emotion or a sense of history or some heart-tugging story, not about bringing to the attention of the world all the things that need fixed... To an extent, it's probably a narrowing of goals that needs to happen, finding what I *can* do, and focusing on that, but..
I don't feel like the person I once wanted to be.
I know there are so many things that have changed for the better in me..and for the most part, I really do like who I am, and what I do, but... it doesn't feel like enough.

*sighs, shaking head* I'm sure this'll pass, always does, don't worry too much about me.. I'm sure I'll feel better before long, just a random bout of angst that was probably overdue anyway.
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