***stardust

1.16.2003

..and while I was sitting here on my birthday..feeling a bit world-weary and all...
...this happened.

...
...don't let me stay here. It would be so very, very easy, to, as Bono's said, "fall asleep in the comfort of our freedom". It would be so easy, to just stay here, in the suburbs or wherever, get a nice decent job, maybe not one that I love so much, but pays fairly enough..get a nice apartment, the cable television, the nice clothes, all-new furnishings and just, y'know, hang out and whatever.
I can't let myself do that.
I don't want to, my heart's screaming out against it.
...but I know it's gonna take a *lot* of work to do otherwise. To get my lazy arse in gear. To squash down my reluctance to actually go out and *do* things. To kill this self of "paralysed force, gesture without motion", make it across the space "between the idea and the reality ... potency and the existance" (Eliot's The Hollow Men)...
But I can't let myself live this empty life. I've got to *do* *something*...and I don't know what, and I wish to God I did, but...I've got to find something.

*Ananda Daydream * 7:06 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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...so much trouble in the world...and I sit here anf gripe and worry about my own little myraid inanities...while so many others-----

Pray for Christy's dad, and her family...he's just had a leg amputated, and lost his job since he can't walk...(he's doing a little better now, and will probably get a prosthetic...but it could still take up to a year for him to recover...)
Pray for those who have no place to go, and are freezing in this winter's chill. (Just read an article about the hundreds dying - purely from the cold - in Russia, since they've no place to go..I can't help but wonder if it's happening here, too. You'd never hear about it, but I bet it is.)
Pray for those in the Congo...rebel groups sweeping through, pillaging and killing...raping women and children...mutilating bodies...killing people in front of their own families...forcing cannibalism on these people, making them eat their own murdered children.....this is happening now. No story, no movie, no fucking history book (will it even ever be mentioned? or will we sweep it under the carpet, like so many other things, ashamed, gagging our consciences?)... This is Samweli's home country (he's the boy that Daf and Laur and I have sponsered for a year or two now, we've written back and forth a little, he's a sweet little boy in a horror of a place..we're praying he's still in a refugee camp in Tanzania, and not back in the Congo, hearing all this now)...
(Follow-up to the article I linked last post is here. Amnesty action regarding Congo here, although it's centered more on the diamond issue. Related, tho, cos the whole thing there is, these rebel groups that are doing all this shit are selling diamonds to, say, jewelers in the U.S. By buying these diamonds, companies are supporting such human rights abuses.)
According to an article over on Amnesty's site, there are 35 armed conflicts going on right now. We think our world is, well, mostly at peace just now - a fragile one, with us on Iraq's doorstep, but a peace nonetheless. But there are that many places in this world where people are dying every day, being gunned down in cold blood, homes being destroyed, lives shattered. Every day.
And we throw a fit when our cable's out, y'know?

*Ananda Daydream * 6:58 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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My God.
How do such impossible atrocities still-----

*cries*

*Ananda Daydream * 1:44 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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1.14.2003

Am drawing again. It'd been awhile since I really sat down and did so - am all inspired and stuff cos I got new art supplies. w007. ^_^
And I'm really psyched, cos these are coming out *really well* lately...which is nice. ^_^

*Ananda Daydream * 9:12 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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