I hate who I become when I'm upset, I overreact and get far too upset and emotional. -_-; Forget about those last two posts.....


I'm feeling worlds better now, Megs and I are calmer and talking and I know things'll be alright again.. My 24hr Review is DONE, and went far better than I could have hoped, they had a lot of interesting and helpful things to say about my work, and I really think I was able to convey what I'm reaching for, even though I'm not always sure how to explain it. Things with Erik also seem to be alright, which is good.

I think Britt's pissed at me for a few things, but they're things that I needn't fret over too much.

*slow, deep breath* Heading back to campus to meet up with my partner for a philosophy debate next week, and after that, I'm going to hang out with Tom.

I just need to calm down and stop worrying for a little bit, and get my head back together again....

Thanks so much for everything though, all of you.. you help so much, even just knowing you're there and supportive and listening helps, and then you're always so sympathetic and caring and just..
I have the most incredible group of friends in the world, thank you all, so much.

(And Megs... *huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs so tight* Thank you for always giving me another chance. No matter what, know that I love you.)

 
I don't ask for pity, I don't cry out for attention. I post what I'm feeling as an outlet for that, and to honestly let my friends know how I'm doing. I realise it looks like a pity-cry sometimes, but it's never intended as such.

I'm sorry, it did sound like I was trying to blame the universe, I didn't intend that, I meant it more by way of explanation.

I know full well the only reason my life's a mess is because of my own fucking stupid thoughtlessness lately.

I'm sorry, to all of you, for what I put you through, and for you having to put up with my shit. I'm not crying for sympathy, I'm acknowledging I've made things a mess and I've hurt people and I'm so sorry.....

 
*nausous from undulation*

Can't I have just one day, or even a few hours, without my life turning upside-down, one way or the other? Every good thing gets shot down so quickly by something bad in equal measure.....



My 24-hour review is tomorrow, and I know right now I'm going to be a wreck, I can't sleep when my heart's this heavy, and I can't stop to soothe it cos I've too much to get done... (couldn't do much anyway, my own damn fault for being so stupid...)


..don't any of you dare start worrying about me, I need that less than anything. I'll be fine once I stop being so thoughtless to those I care about.

 
Really, I have more productive things to say, but for now...

Tom: lol. just ran your name through dictionary.com and got "a genus of Old World mints." congrats.
Me: *bursts out laaaughing* seriously?? oh wowwww...
Tom: no way could i make that up
Me: never tried running names thru dictionary.com, that must be amusing *g*
Me: hehehe true
Me: wowwww
[...]
Me: ..see, really, tho, that's odd, cos one of the name-books we have at home someplace said my name came from some obscure greek myth that relates to bees or honey or something (it means "honey bee" 8giggles, shrugs*), I'd've thought that would've come up...
Me: but I'm a mint. wow. *G*
Tom: yeah you aperently told humans how to use honey. (trillian has a built in dictionary so when you cursor over certen words it tells you the definition of it.)
Me: oooo.. that's actually kinda cool *g* sweet~
Me: *feels special*
Me: *rahter, is special, having a boy who's geeky and sweet enough to look that up* :-)