And a very important addition to that list of thank-you's...my dear sweet Megs.
..who let my little-Larry-chan use her computer to write me an e-mail (he knew I'd see it if he did it here..and he didn't want to write me a note, cos he was afraid - and reasonabbly so - that Mackie might tamper with it)...and it was the sweetest ever.
...thanks again, for everything...

Meanwhile, merani-chan's gonna come visit this weekend!!! w007!!! ^_^
(came up kind of at random, but the grandparents're gonna be down by here anyway, so they're gonna bring her down early tomorrow afternoon, and pick her up prolly Sunday morning...will be fun. Insane, but fun. ^_^)

Ok. Movie-time...either Requiem for a Dream or Donnie Darko..possibly both, if I can stay awake that long..*g*
Gopodnigh. *g*

 
...you'd think after living two hours away for a few months now, people would start to realise you don't live there anymore, you've no idea what's going on, you can't tell them what's going on with people at home...
...merani-chan had a good word.
dumbass.

...Dad keeps e-mailing me, he's IMing me right now, talking about Matantis, saying he's not sure what Matt's getting into, thinks he might be getting into some not-so-good stuff, these guys he's hanging out with now, all this stuff......wtf does he want me to *say*?! I've no fucking clue what's going on there. No idea.

*sighs*

...have been impossibly tired all day...have just been exausted the past few days...ended up being up a little late last night, talked with Calypso for awhile, then had Amnesty, got food, came back..talked with Britt and Erin until like, 12.30..then checked e-mail and things, and wanted to watch some U2...fell asleep watching my Elevation tour dvd...which was just nice.....not that I slept well, between Jacquie and her friend coming in for awhile..and the alarm-clock problem again..ah well...dozed off in freshman sem this morning (the thing's gone back to being two hours long...I don't know how we're gonna make it..even with a little-Lar drawing and fics to work on, I dozed off..it's terrible...

..and now am just tired and cranky, cos Dad's IMing me...why didn't I realise he was on, and throw up an away message?! ..damn.....

...
...
...*watches her sheep for awhile*...
...hey, he just said bye...shibby...
...*continues watching sheep, feeling slightly better*

(Yeah, anyone who hasn't yet? Download the sheep. It's impossibly cute and fun...seriously, like, nearly everyone I know here's got it now, and we all love our sheep. *laughs*)

 
...thanks..to all of my friends...Daf for sending me U2ness..Laur for encouragement...Britty, Erin, and Laura, and Ken, too, for listening...thanks to Josh for giving me wonderful sad music to listen to...thanks to the Gloria Record, R.E.M., and most of all, U2.......all of you...pick me up when I feel I can no longer stand.....you've no idea how much you all help me...thank you...(no, I'm not over all this already..but I'll get there cos I know I've got you all here with me...thank you.....)

I'll Take the Rain
(R.E.M.)
The rain came down
The rain came down
The rain came down on me.
The wind blew strong
The summer's song
Fades to memory.

I knew you when
I loved you then
The summer's yawn, now hopeless.
You laid me bare
You marked me there
The promises we made.

I used to think, as birds take wing,
They sing through life, so why can't we?
We cling to this, and claim the best
If this is what you're offering
I'll take the rain, I'll take the rain.

The nighttime creases
Summer schemes
And stretches out to stay.
The sun shines down
You came around
You loved the easy days.

But now the sun,
The winter's come.
I wanted just to say
That if I hold
I'd hoped you'd fold And open up inside, inside of me.

I used to think
As birds take wing
They sing through life, so why can't we?
We cling to this, and claim the best
If this is what you're offering
I'll take the rain, I'll take the rain, I'll take the rain.

This winter's song
I'll sing along
I've searched its still refrain
I'll walk alone
If given this,
Take wing, and celebrate the rain.

I used to think
As birds take wing
They sing through life, so why can't we?
We cling to this, and claim the best
If this is what you're offering
I'll take the rain, I'll take the rain, I'll take the rain.

 
FUCK.

..Dad just called me. Denied shoving Matt at all, said Matt tripped over the garbage can..I don't know who the hell to fucking believe anymore.
I don't.
I've known them both to lie, to exaggerate, to make themselves look better.
Said he never raised his voice once (fuck him, his sarcasm's worse than knives, tearing in).

I told him, look, I'm not the parent, I'm the older sister who lives two hours away now, I don't know anything...

Fuck it...fuck it all.....

 
Fuck.
What kind of fucked up world is this?
...I wish I knew what to do...I wish I could be there to help...but at the same time, I'm thanking God I'm not there, I don't know how much more of that shit I could take...
Fuck...

..Dad like, totally flipped on Matt today...got all in his face, literally...about Matt's stupid grades...he's *not* gonna fail, he told me, he's not gonna let that happen...and Matt tried to leave, Dad blocked the door...shoved my brother up against the stove...

..finally Matt managed to leave, took his bike and rode to Brandi's...called mom, he's staying there for now...meanwhile merani-chan's scared shitless, doesn't wanna be there...she's gonna stay over at the grandparents' for the night...

...shit......what are we gonna do? ...Matt says this was worse than ever before.....this can't go on like this...I understand Dad's pissed about the grades, but pulling shit like this is NOT the way to handle it...
..and Dad's always on about how his parents abused him and his sister, hit them and shit when their friends were over...and now what's he fucking doing?
Does he see this??
...I don't know if he does......it's so fucked up...

Fuck.

...God.....help us......we don't know what to do.......I don't know what to do.....

"Jesus, Jesus help me
I'm alone in this world
And a fucked-up world it is, too..."
- "Wake Up Dead Man", U2

 
*sad, sad sigh*.....democracy my arse.

..on an up note...yay Garbage. *smiles*


..that, and I love rainy days.....*smiles*...gave me an idea for a fanfic, too, which's always cool. (Ok, partly inspired by one I read last night, too...but yay for baby U2 and rain. ^_^)

 

The Subculture Label Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla
You are.. UNIQUE! Wow, you are a rare breed. You do what you want, say what you want, and wear what you want. Screw labels and subcultures! You may be considered one of the oddest people in your school, but you really could care less. What matters is what you like, and what you like only. You're a shining star!

*beams*
Score. ^____^

 
So, seeing's how I was completely losing touch with what's going on in the outside world, I had a stroke of intelligence and set ie to open to cnn.com. *g*

This is just *wrong*...*rolling eyes*...
...but this looks promising..*smiles, crossing fingers*...


But yeah. So, I had the creepiest dream *ever* last night...
...dreamed about the end of the world.

No, for real. It was really scary...
...everyone was dying from some terrible disease...don't know what it was, or anything, but everyone was getting it...everyone was dying...I hadn't gotten it yet, but I knew it couldn't be long...people around me were getting it...it...not sure where I was, but there were a few people around, the land was a wasteland, hardened mud and dirt, a few low buildings, but mostly devistation...someone was digging graves right in front of the building we were near...a four-year old girl had just died, I could see her in my mind, a cheerful girl with long, shining blond hair...that was when I broke down, crying, ran off behind the building and fell to my knees and cried...my brother came out, just to talk to me, asked me some stuff about X/1999 (for some reason, it didn't strike me as odd that he should ask about an anime/manga about the battle of the apocolypse)...and I just smiled, my brother was trying to cheer me up...
...and I remembered wondering if this could truly be the end...everyone was dying...there were so few left, maybe one in ten still alive...and I knew it had to be the end...I think someone told me it couldn't be, wasn't spectacular enough, but...I knew it was.....
...talked to Blake, on aim...and he told me that his dad had just died from the disease...I was about to say something, starting to cry again...and he kept sending me messages, how much it hurt him, he wished he'd known his father better, would have almost been easier/better if it'd been his mom, cos more people knew her, and knew her better, and could keep her memory alive...no-one could do that with his father.....and I think that's about when I woke up...

*shudders* ...I've no idea...had listened to a few songs from X sometime before going to bed, maybe that was it, but...*shaking head*..I don't know....was frightening.....

 
Dude. Best site *ever*!
(..will put up some I made later..)

 
Meh...too tired and lazy to update on the rest of the weekend..might later..for right now, tho....it was *great*. ^_^
Yay Colin and Brad!
- Eating a bald alien under the salad bar at Gracie's cafeteria on the RIT campus with a salmon and a sundial = a terrible, horrible crime.
- Corn cobs are nature's toilet paper.
- Aries!
- pockets!!! nooooo!!!!! *lol*
- "I'm M.C. Walt!"

Yay for the Brick City singers (was that their name? ..this subject to correction *g*) and "Truly Madly Deeply". ^_^

Oh yeah. And I am SO the checkers champion. w007!!!! ^_^

Fun of the moment:
..yay for cpu-illiterate people. *hehehe*...
winged JENOVA: yeah and maybe i could install a liquid cooling prog in that so it couldn't read the hardrive
winged JENOVA: delete the fan from running or something
elsielizlc: no
winged JENOVA: okay fine, ill just do something simple and put a trojan virus on your h/d
elsielizlc: don't
winged JENOVA: and then overclock it to see if it implodes on itself
elsielizlc: no
elsielizlc: what r u doing??

winged JENOVA: hey I got the binary code!
elsielizlc: i don't want it faster
winged JENOVA: 010101010 0101 101 101 0 10 1100101
elsielizlc: uurg
winged JENOVA: that code should allow me to delete the c drive
elsielizlc: uuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggg
elsielizlc: leave my computer alone and stop hacking it

*dies laughing* ...my sister's awesome. ^_^

(Don't worry, I'll remember to burn the cd for you!!!! lol. *g*)