PThe Nightingale and the Rose, Oscar Wilde

        The Sorrows of Young Werther, Goethe


        Way behind on all crochet.
        It is NaNoNovember!

        anandadaydream's Profile Page

        blogger profile
        library thing

        desert songs
        amaranth and jasmine
        my lj


        Amaranthus, continued (NaNoWriMo 2010)
        untitled (2009)
        untitled (2008)
        Amaranthus (NaNoWriMo 2007)
        untitled (2006)
        Beneath the Dust (2005)
        Mortal Angel (2005)

        quid pro quo
        modernday phoenix
        life of a naturefreak

        lesbian pirates
        questionable content
        the dreamer
        joe the circle

        101 cookbooks
        i can haz cheezburger

        the hunger site
        the ONE campaign
        amnesty international


        the quote lists:
        summer 2004
        (rest to come once I get them online again~)

          the massive archives:
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          01/09/2011 - 01/16/2011
          01/30/2011 - 02/06/2011

Ah. Just got back from hanging out in Morgan's room for awhile...her roommate's really nice too. ^_^
But yeah...was nice, hadn't talked with anyone from Perry in's so funny tho, cos from everything Morg really changed that much. *smile* ...but she had a pic of Jason, from just a few days before the accident...I was like, "Oh...he got *tall*!" *smile* ..he strange.....I've got a pic of him with me, too, but it's from 7th grade, the most recent one I have of him...we talked about him for awhile, she filled me in on what exactly had happened, cos I never knew the details...
..but it was so weird, she was telling me that he and Scott had gotten so close Jay's last few months...I just had to laugh. I had the *biggest* crushes on those two...*smile*
But Morg's still really good friends with Scott, he actually auditioned here, did really well (she says his voice is still gorgeous...I remember it was back then...can still hear it, almost..*laugh*), but his grades were too low... ...and Jay was supposed to come here, too..... ...that woulda been awesome... ... ...I miss him. I hadn't seen or heard from him in years, but...I still miss him.
I asked about some other people, she has no idea whatever happened to Charley - "he just..disappeared"...but she thinks he got into a lot of trouble, which doesn't really surprise me...(tho he was a sweet guy at heart, I know, he and I had a lot of fun times...). A few people are going to Naz - will have to tell Blake to keep an eye out for them. *g*
But yeah...people-wise, things are looking ok...yeah, there seem to be quite a few, y'know, A&F types and whatnot, but...I've run into some random people that're quite alright, so... *smile*

..tho pretty soon here, it's gotta hit me that I'm here to *stay*......
...and now "Zoot Suit Riot"'s on!
...ahhh...I miss band already... *tear*
Well, am all moved in ('cept there's a bunch of stuff I forgot.. -_-; ), U2 posters are up, Lawrence is set up and turned on (which's good...*too big of a grin*...hehe...*g*)...roommate's really nice, which's good...haven't found Morgan Larry-lookalikes yet...but the campus radio station people have random music cranked way up outside...and Rush's "Closer to the Heart" just came on. ^_^
...but they closed up the food places at 7 tonight.
I went out in search of food at 7.15.
>_<, raided my poptart collection and tested the new microwave. ^_^
..we've got a microwave, fridge, two cpus online, Jacquie's gonna go out prolly tomorrow and get a it's all good. ^_^ new home's SUNY Fredonia.

note to me: cool name: Thaísa (portugese?)
...blahhhhh...forgot how much I *HATE* packing. >_<
sooooo tired.......went to Letchworth and hiked some today, then over to the Corral, where I ran into Morgan - a friend from Perry who's also going to Fredonia! *Very* cool. And she's in the same dorm as me, just on the floor above...which makes the first few days/weeks look a lot less bleak. *smile*
My roommate actually called today---! O_O ...*laugh* yeah. She'll get down there about the same time as me tomorrow, so...*shrug* We'll see. She *sounds* nice enough... *g*

Oh, yeah, and we drove by our old house in Perry? ...and...there are *cows* in my old front yard. Like, a bunch of them. Awesome. ^_^ *laugh*
But it's crazy, the silo's gone! ...the one corner of our property was still owned by Schreibers when we were there, and there was this old, unused silo on it. We thuoght it was pretty cool, we'd look inside at the old rusted machinary that had fallen down inside, the half-rotting old silage...our cats would sometimes climb up inside, that was kinda crazy.....but yeah, it's gone now. So weird...

But yeah. I'm supposed to still be packing...blahhhhh......

Right. S'pose I should fill y'all in on lunch today...
meh. horridly anticlimatic. bleh. I am such a frickin' dipwad. I hate it.
...woke up an hour earlier'n I'd planned, which was just annoying. Got all ready, put on some of my new clothes for school, all nice and reasonably tame *g*... (I asked Teraa if I looked alright, she said yeah..."you look more normal than I've *ever* seen you!"...*g*) Blake called about ten to noon, to make sure I was ready (good idea...he knows I'm not usually *awake* before noon, if I can help it *g*).
So, he picked me up, we chatted a bit on the way to Jitter's...(oh, and Teraa? he says you're actually very nice. esp. with trying to get him an lj code. *smile*)
Got there, and it was busier'n either of us had *ever* seen it. Was crazy. Got in there, bumped into old math teachers (cool for him, less so for me... x___x ...remember, he's the math-minded one, not me! ...the boy's takin' Calc 2 this semester, and I'd thanking God that I never have to take *any* math *EVER* again!!!! *laugh*)...
Fortunately for us, tho it was busy, there was a checker-table free. So, we sat down, and played.
He beat me.
Which sucked, miserably. *No-one* ever beats me at checkers!!! ...Dad still can occasionally, but that's only fiar cos he's the one who taught me. But Blake?! I kicked his butt twice in a row last time!
He kept sputtering that this was a mistake, he wasn't supposed to win, somehow I'd still manage to win (tho he had like, three kings, and I had one...second game, I was outnumbered about five to one...blah)...
After he beat me twice (which was terrible...terrible... ..*laugh*), we sat and chatted about random stuff for a bit...about ten to one, he said he had to go about one, his parents had only let him off for about an hour (he leaves tomorrow, today was his family day)...but we didn't actually leave 'til about 1.30...*smile*
So yeah, talked some about college, roommates, new cpus, things like that...him not showing up the other night came up twice, I think...he really *did* feel bad..."the *one* time I didn't I remember why I never liked getting rides from people..."
...he drove me home, pulled into the driveway...I gave him his grad card...and then...
" you remember this?"
I pulled out a small box, opened it, and took out the orange, heart-shaped, scented soap, with the words "sweet heart" on it.....
"Looks like Avon." [note: his mom and my mom both used to be avon ladies when we were little...his mom might be still, not sure offhand...]
"*laugh* Yeah, it you remember it?"
...back in Kindergarten, first grade, I went to school here. But there're three elementary schools in the district, and he and I went to different ones. His mom, however, worked in my school's cafeteria, I'd always go over and say hi to her when I went to take up my lunch tray or whatever. And I don't remember if it was Kindergarten or 1st, but one of those Valentine's Days...she gave the heart-shaped soap to me, from him. And I've kept it ever since. It's been in the same drawer of my desk, almost in the same exact place, all these years...
...and I told him all this..."yeah...I *do* kind of remember it now..."...and he smiled and seemed surprised, I think...*smile*
But that made me happy. :)
We sat there for a minute in silence... "Blake..I don't know how to say goodbye..." ..I barely got it out, I choked up...looked over at him...and leaned (awkwardly) across the seat to give him a hug, lay my head on his shoulder..."it'll be okay...we'll have ims...we stayed friends before..." "yeah...I know, but..." ...and I sat back up (leaning across the front seats of a caar does *not* work >_< ) ..."...and there are vacations, too..." " you have a few days off in October?" "I don't think so...but I'll be home like every weekend, so it doesn't matter..." "right..." ...and I went to get out of the car, the door was still locked from teh engine being on, he unlocked it, I got out..."goobye, good luck getting moved in and everything..." "you too...goodbye..." ...and I hurried up to my door, still choking up...

blah. see, didn't that *suck*?!, I don't feel *that* bad about it, somehow, I knew it'd be that way, I s'pose...and besides, I think I'd already really said goodbye...the e-mail I sent not long ago, the note I wrote, the choral banquet...I think it was that dance that was our true goodbye, almost.....

Right. So I'm gonna stop blathering now.....enough of my sad little lack-of-a-lovelife. That's been taking up far too much brain-time lately, and that's starting to bother me a little...

Wow. That was *long* ..*shrug* Ah well. 's my blog, I can take up as much space as I'd like with my ramblings. ^_^
Meanwhile, comments are still only occasionally working..can't get to the enetation website, either...durn Brits...

But, in good news: Berkeley Breathed has his own website!!!
It's Bloom County.
It kicks butt.
There are comics on there.
Life is still worth living. ^_^

(Penguins ROCK, esp. Opus. ^_^)
Right. So, last night, was gonna have some friends over, get "the old group" from junior high back together again, right? Heather came over about 6, no-one else'd come by 8, so we called Greg (who'd apparently just been sitting abou his house?!...loser baka...), Daf came over a bit later... Eric and Dan never showed up, but they were iffy anyway...and Blake? ...will get to in a minute.
But yeah. Was *great* fun. I personally can roast marshmallows to a nice, fairly-even, golden brown, nearly every time. Once in awhile I set one on fire, but not often. Heather and Greg, on the other hand----! *dies laughing* It was horrible, Heather kept putting hers right near/in the flames, and burnt them horribly *every* time. She put them in the same place like, four times in a row, setting them on fire *every time*. *laugh* Eventually, she just amused herself by putting the end of her stick in the fire... she'd pull it out, the end glowing. Then she blew no it, was totally entranced by it glowing brighter when she did so ("heats up when blown on"? o_O; *laugh*). Then afced Greg, who was sitting next to her, while doing so, and blew embers over onto Greg. Who spazzed (with due cause *G*). Both tried to set my lawn on fire countless times...gah. Crazy. But it was a lot of fun, just, a nice night out, goofing around with friends, and all..... they left about 10.
Greg left today, he's off to Spain for his first semester....crazy... Heather leaves Sat., not sure if I'll get a chance to see her again before that (tho I hope so!). *sigh*
But yeah. And Blake? ...he'd told me that he had this surprise party for a kid from the play to go to, he was going with some other people, but he'd get to my house as soon as he could ("the second I get home and jump in my car"), he wasn't planning on staying there all that long.
10pm, he wasn't there.
Shortly afterwards, I called his house, told his mom to have him call me as soon as he got home, didn't matter what time it was, I'd still be up... took the cordless with me, sat at the cpu for a min. to check my e-mail, just in case...nothing, of course. Sent a quick e-mail to Meg about what'd happened...
...I was really upset. Wanted to see him so badly...I'd rushed about to make sure I got his grad card done by 6. I'd brushed my hair, put it up (he and Dan once told me they like it better up), changed into one of my new outfits for school, very me, but nothing too out there, nice white shirt with the leather tie-things at the neck, new jeans, with tan lace-stuff at the side/bottoms...had been playing out various scenarios in my mind for the past day or so...
...and I told Meg all this, checked my mail again, nothing, and I started thinking about the fact that I have to say goodbye...and it started to sink in that that might be the last time I see Greg and Heather for a good long while...started crying a little, toko the cordless up to my room with me, and just sat there for half an hour, thinking, on the edge of crying (woulda felt better if I did, but couldn't quite, it hasn't all completely sunk in yet, I think...)...and kept thinking about Blake, where *was* he?! He wasn't here...he'd missed my party (such as it was)...was with "the choir people" and play-people...true, he hadn't driven himself, but still...was he okay? what if he got into an accident?!...or maybe he just forgot...or would rather spend time with them than me...and then...I don't usually get this way, but...I started thinking...wishing I was pretty and popular like Lani...she's got all these guys at her beckon call (her "bagels"), she's pretty, and talented, witty, a dancer, a singer, an actress, all thsi stuff...she's always got all these guys Blake, a good deal of this year. And I don't usually, maybe only twice ever have I, envy her, or anyone in that group, like that, but...and in my clear-headed moments don't envy her or the rest at *all*, I know I wouldn't *want* to be who they are...but...Blake was with *them*.
Finally, got up, took the phone with me again, and got back on the cpu. Checked my e-mail, nothing... wrote back to Meg's e-mail she'd sent earlier (thanks again Meg, for making me smile...I needed it last night...instead of "Brad Pitt", my mantra's "percussionist loveslave"...*half-laugh*... (every time Heather gets down about whatever guy, I just tell her to keep thinkin' Brad Pitt)..). Got on aim, talked with my sister (who was over at Mom's for the night), caught up on here a bit, kept checking my e-mail like, every couple of minutes...sent an e-mail to Greg...every time I saw a car pass I kept snapping my head up, but none stopped.....Teraa got offline about 1am...
...and finally, 'bout 1.30 or so, he got on aim. I caught my breath, was just....there's no word for it. Relieved, excited, breathless, amazed, heart about to burst, glad, pissed, *everything*... "where *were* you?!?!"...and I started shaking even, could hardly type at first, it was crazy...and he said he was so, so sorry, he had no idea it was giong to run that late...he hadn't gotten home 'til about quarter to one, he hopped right ni his car and drove over, looked but didn't see anyone still there, tho he asw the blue light from the cpu screen on in the living room...thought about stopping, but didn't cos it was so late ("you could've, I'm still on the cpu..."), thought about calling but it was so late ("I took the cordless outta dad's room, so it wouldn't wake him up") he got online, hoping I'd be on... was insane, I hadn't realised just how keyed up I'd wouldn't believe what I felt when I saw him get online.....
...but he was *so* sorry..."I had no idea it was going to be that late".....and he said that he still needed to see me, to say goodbye...and asked if I was doing anything Thursday. "Nope..was just gonn ask you the same thing.. *smile*" So, he sugegsted we head down to Jitter's for lunch on Thursday ("it's supposed to be a "family" day, but dad will just have to give me up for an hour :)".."prolly is for me, too, but..y'can only take so much family..*").
...he "needed" to see me.....he apologised profusely.....and how could I ever stay mad at him? *half-smile*...I should've know it'd work always does.....why did I doubt him like I did?..something I'm gonig to ahve to learn, I think...I was thinking abuot it afterwards (while goping about with such an impossibly huge smile on my face, feeling all warm and fuzzy *smile*)...and, I have this huge general trust in people, I think...I'm pretty free with telling people things abuot myself, even if I've only known them a little while, if they seem nice enough, or whatever, y'know?...and I don't worry about people stalking me online or anything like that, I'll talk to whoever (unless they're obviously a creep), I trust Meg, whom I've never met in "real life", with so much...all this...but, I think...somehow, I don't always completely trust my friends. I mean, I *trust* them, but I don't...I doubt them sometimes, I think. I doubt myself, I doubt whether they really like me or, I *know* they do, but..I dunno, it's strange, I don't think I can explain it right, it doesn't sound lik it really is, it's...*sigh* ...but I've got to have more faith in them, I think. I do, but then...well, yeah, you read all that above, me doubting my dear Blake like that.
And then? ...he started an ezjournal-thing, my sister caught the link in his away message on aim earlier today. The only entry so far was written up yesterday. 'Tonight's the bonfire at Ananda's [tho he used my real name]'...'she's my oldest friend, I've known her longer than anyone'...'it's going be hard to say goodbye'...all this stuff, there were only three paragraphs total, and one was on me...
...'m I gonna leave him???
(and everyone...that's the thing, I've only talked about Blake on here, but that's cos...I *really* don't know what I'm gonna do without Daf and Laur...that's just...unimaginable......*sigh*)
O~~~~kay. Where the freak'd I leave off, here? *g*
Ah. Was talking about babysitting. *trying to remember what was going to type* ...yeah, Heather kept telling me I was doing too much, that I didn't *have* to be with Amber every single second, didn't even have to be in the same room of the house...but I dunno, I mean, if I'm being paid to watch a kid, I'm gonna wanna try to earn it, y'know? so yeah, did get a little lazier, esp. Mon-Tues., cos I wasn't feeling so well, but...*shrug* I really didn't mind. And the thing is, too, it's easier to babysit when the family *isn't* around. Cos then you can just hang out the kid, do whatever, and you don't feel you're being watched, y'nkow? you don't feel silly getting down on the floor and playing with them, nor do you worry if you try to correct them on something. Granted, when Heather was there, all I ahd to do was just sit there and watch them beat each other up, but...*laugh* ...I enjoyed it more when it was just me and Amber, when Heather was there, for one thing, I felt extraneous, y'know?
Also while babysitting, developed a full-blown theory and cartoons and the state of the youth of today...but we'll save that for "another day". *g*
Ok. Talked to Blake. Reason for staying up is gone. Am tired, and smell like woodsmoke. More later.
(But happy ending, for now. ^_^)
Okay. Monday and Tuesday, as mentioned, got stuck still babysitting (which I'd really half-expected, I didn't think Heather'd be about to watch Amber, so...*shrug*) Whatever. Wasn't too horrible, apart from me feeling randomly queasy the past two days...bleh.
But no, really....I really love babysitting, I do. And Heather kept telling me that I was doing too much, I didn't---

Blake just got online.

more later.

Hehe... am now playing Teraa RPG with Teraa...she and psycho-friend invented it today:
think of some random anime/video game guy, usually a bishie. Give the other player the options. Then when they select, do the sound effects

Teraa: Teraa RPG. Continue Game. Loading... choice a) slap him, choice b) kiss him, choice c) run away, d) nuke him.
Teraa: d)
Teraa: *puts a TNT thing next to it*
me: hehe...*G*
Teraa: *sssss* *BLAM!* Psycho Lady: #$^#$^#%^#$^$@#^#$%#$!!!
Teraa: Me: that's called 'pulling a Cid' stuff. Good, cos it gets my mind off that phone call I'm so desperetely waiting for....*sigh*
Right. Was going to explain....but I'll start with the weekend. ^_^

Spent the weekend at the Lions' Fair in Churchville, *great* fun.
Well, 'k, didn't start *out* so fun, but...amusing now. *g*
Laur and I got there like, 11, 11.30 Sat. morning (waaaayyy too early for me, 'specially after babysitting all week x___x). And we were triyng to figure out where we were supposed to be for the parade and all...and realised it was a ways up from where we were. So, we *ran*. (Laur more'n me, cos for one, I had sandals on, and for another, I think she's more in shape than me.. o_O; ) And I lost the paintbrush that was in my hair in the process. So, we finally found Mr. M., and do you know what he told us??? ...that the navy brass band we were supposed to carry the banner for? Was double-booked. Wasn't gonna be there.
In other words...
They didn't need us there.
This was far too much for an out-of-breath, hot, sweating, and already tired Ananda at 11am. I collapsed onto the grass, and didn't move for several minutes.
Then we got up, and they said they needed some people to throw candy, so we volunteered to do that. Was great fun. Threw candy to tons of little kids, and also lots of old people. ^_^, really. There were all these old people (ok, fine, "senior citizens".. XÞ ) out, asking for candy. So we gave them some, it was great. ^_^
The best one, tho... There were these two little boys sitting in little mini-lawnchairs by the roadside, I threw some candy over to them. And they didn't move an inch. But these old guys nearby all scrambled over each other to go get it!!!! *dies laughing* It was awesome.... :D

So, got back to the fair, set up our stuff...we were able to borrow a small card table, which we set up next to the Health Fair people's truck. Got fair amount of business...later moved over by the dunking booth, where fellow Leos were working, then had to move *again* when the health-people wanted their table back cos they were leaving...*rolling eyes* Ah well. Worked out in the end... ..we left about 8.30 or so that night, then Daf came over, and we tried to stay up to watch LotR. Laur fell asleep about midnight, I did at 1.30. *hopelessly disappointed in self* was terrible, I kept dozing off, and finally just fell asleep right after they got out of Moria! ..*siiiigh*...sorry, Daffy.....(and Legloas, Aragorn, Frodo, et. al.) (wait...Laur, what's et. al. even mean, exactly? *laugh*)
Sunday, were there from 12.30 to about 4.30 - much shorter, but more fun, and busier. Teraa came with us, met up with one of her friends there. We had a nice little tent-covered booth all to ourselves, was very nice. Made $60 or so total, which's great for us (and for 50 cents per face, on average). ^_^
But oh, it was *so* much fun, it really and truly was.....*smile* Little kids are so *cute*!!! ^_^ (I know, have said this before...and that I want one, but....*laugh*) Just, to see the smiles on their faces (heh, no matter how crappy a power ranger I drew *g*)...was great. I love it. *smile*
See, and that's the thing, Dad (and Grandma, for that matter), were all like, you shouldn't have to be doing this, you're not in the club anymore, this is your last weekend, blah blah' I'm like, dude. I helped *found* that club. I've been president as long as it's been around so far. And I *wanted* to spend my last weekend with my friends!
But yeah. The other highlight, was having Teraa-chan with. That...was great. Sent her and her friend off to go get fried dough, with powdered sugar, right? Yeah. Temporarily forgetting that it was randomly crazy windy out that day. So, Teraa and friend come back...*totally* covered in powdered sugar. :D ...Teraa decides to try to put on the other shirt she'd brought with (we'd been threatening to throw her into the dunking both, so she came prepared ^_^). Pulls it on overtop the sugar-coated one. This does not work especially well. And she ph34r5 the port-a-potties (with good reason). So, we tell her to just take the sugary one off while keeping the new one on - standard maneuver, right? Uh, usually...'cept Teraa had *no* clue how to go about it. So, we all gathered around, and told her where to put what arm, was great. Took her like, ten minutes or so in the end, but she got it. We cheered. ;D

'Course, y'know, get back, and Dad was all lecturing *again*...didn't even have the courtesy to wait 'til Laur left, the frickin' %$#^&# (yes, Teraa, I pulled a Cid... *rolling eyes* *g*)...blah.
But, enough of that...
*laugh*....I love my little sister. *smile*
me: I don't know whether I wanna slap him or kiss him, but...*wry laugh*
teraa: Teraa RPG. Continue Game. Loading... choice a) slap him, choice b) kiss him, choice c) run away, d) nuke him.
Thanks, Teraa-chan...
(I know, yer just gonna call me stupid for putting this up, but I don't care. XP *g*)

(And will explain situation further shortly. Uhh, maybe. If I don't fall asleep or get a phone call first.)

Waaaagh! ...have been meaning to really update for awhile here, but been kinda busy, between the Lion's Fair this weekend (if yer dying for a report, head over to Laur's blog for now *g*), and getting stuck babysitting again today and tomorrow. Plus, y'know, I'm kinda leaving for college on, uh, Saturday.... O_O;;; So spent a lot of tonight cleaning and sorting and two garbage bags *full* of stuff to take to the Salvation Army (which's pretty crazy for me, the one who still wears a sweatshirt I've had since *third grade*...*laugh*), cleared another good-sized spot of my floor, all good.
So yeah. More later, possibly tomorrow? ..but then again, maybe not - am having "the old group" over tomorrow night for a campfire/marshmallow-roasting thing. Blake, Zerubbabel (Eric), Greg, Dan, Heather, myself, and Daf's fully welcome to come over if she'd like (tho she doesn't eat marshmellows, so... *shrug*).