PThe Nightingale and the Rose, Oscar Wilde

        The Sorrows of Young Werther, Goethe


        Way behind on all crochet.
        It is NaNoNovember!

        anandadaydream's Profile Page

        blogger profile
        library thing

        desert songs
        amaranth and jasmine
        my lj


        Amaranthus, continued (NaNoWriMo 2010)
        untitled (2009)
        untitled (2008)
        Amaranthus (NaNoWriMo 2007)
        untitled (2006)
        Beneath the Dust (2005)
        Mortal Angel (2005)

        quid pro quo
        modernday phoenix
        life of a naturefreak

        lesbian pirates
        questionable content
        the dreamer
        joe the circle

        101 cookbooks
        i can haz cheezburger

        the hunger site
        the ONE campaign
        amnesty international


        the quote lists:
        summer 2004
        (rest to come once I get them online again~)

          the massive archives:
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          01/09/2011 - 01/16/2011
          01/30/2011 - 02/06/2011

Haruna and I just discovered that pushing her new wire-frame bookshelf-y thingy around across the floor is maaaaaad fun. *giggling* ..rather like a very lightweight thinner shopping cart, only funner. *g*

Went out for another bikeride this afternoon, skipped out on the Paper Factory run just cos I didn't feel like riding along semi-highways today.. the air's just cool and sharp enough that it messes with my breathing (hurts my nose a little, I dunno *g*), and I felt like a less-stressful ride. So after stopping by WilliC to grab some lunch to eat while riding about, started heading in around D&F Plaza.. went around behind the buildings, which was interesting.. perhaps should've, though didn't, stop to take a few shots with my camera.. might another day, I dunno, that pile of old shopping carts just looked cool. *laughs*
Rode around in through some residential areas and following Central down to Temple, followed that back and went along Matteson, where I was last night...and it definitely looked a bit more fascinating at night than in daylight, but it was still nice enough. *g* Took a few shots from the bridge over the creek, rode along a bit.. a random split-second decision at the interection put me on Chestnut and I ended up following along the same way I went the other day that I was out for like forever, only in reverse. And it didn't seem so long cos I knew where I was the whole time this time. *laughs* Discovered that overpasses provide awesome vantage points for taking pictures, stopped near the ones on both Chestnut and Temple, took pictures along the road and out across the vineyards..hopefully they come out cool.
There's this farm over on Willow that's simply gorgeous.. the fields and the barn and the gardens are perfect and just lovely, it's really nice...
Stopped a few different places to look around, checked my map to see if there were any different cool ways I could get back.. considered taking Willow all the way out to the end and bringing Brigham back -- but that takes me into Dunkirk, at least a little, which I didn't feel like pulling today. Might tomorrow, it's a fairly long ride, but not much worse'n what I did today.
I like exploring. *g*

So, yeah.. am straightening up a bit around here while talking to Laur.. and now Megs is on so yay. ^_^

The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

One that I actually like, I think.... and *dude*, *read* that... "you know people better than they know themselves"..MACKIEHI. ^___^

So, I was attempting to find more U2 songs for Stepmania... and failed, but wound up with some friggin' awesome results. ^______^ This makes me far too happy. ^_^

Also found this... it looks like Welsh and the dude's last name is Evans and he says something about Edge and U2 but I have nooooo fecking clue what. *giggles*
*bounces over to the best translation site ever which is one of her best friends*
*tells it the site to translate*
*attempts to read*
*..and bursts out laughing* oooookayyyyy, internet-translators have a loooong way to go... *maaad fookin' giggles*

Anyway, they mention Live a being a good band, I think, which's cool cos they are. ^_^ (And seems they were talking about someone starting a band, and I think they said Edge was one of the guys' influences. Maybe? *giggles* wow.)
..and Britt, not that I'm aware you read this, but... I totally sympathise with you, being two hours from home but still not being able to get away from the angst that worms its way back to you......
five fucking e-mails from my dad, one of which was apparently mis-sent to me, but it's--- *fuck* it's the same old shite again and again.
(on top of that, he can't spell type or PUNCTUATE worth shite so that doesn't make it any easier reading >_< )
yeah-fucking-right he's sorry I get caught in the middle of things...if he wouldn't drag me there I won't be. I have nothing to do with his fights with Matt, they don't concern me at all - they concern me, I mean, but it's nothing I should be involved with, it's between THEM not me, and not Mel.
So, so, SICK of it... that was the one reason I was glad to come back here, cos I'd had enough for one summer...

...can I Lemon back and stop whoever taught Dad how to work e-mail?
*rubs eyes, yawns* eeeeee remind me that staying up 'til 6.30am makes me sleepy the next day. *giggles*
But things over in the Zoo were far too yuuuummy gheeeeeee..
U2 and the Beatles (circa 1964) are currently mudwrestling for the title of the greatest band ever. ^_________^
(I personally wish they'd said more about Mackie pouncing Ewan way back whenever, but.. *gheehehe*)

So, lessee... classes, yeah, haven't been too bad.. angst levels about lately have been growing a bit tiresome, really, we've all had *enough* by now thankyoueverymuch *picks up angst and flings it waaaaaay out of the Bubble and then slams the window shut*... I'm alright, I just had random angst for no reason two nights running, which was annoying but went away, but when my friends are angsty I'm angsty cos I worry about them and I wish I could help...
But yeah.
Night before last, I went out for a short bikeride about 10, came back, and got Britty, we went for an angst-walk... and as we went through town, we ran into Dionysos, who decided to join us. *smiles* So that was nice... (only for what every moronic reason...I still can never think of a thing to say around him. I really don't know why and it's such a pain in the arse cos I'd *like* to hang out with him more, I really like him as a person, and the conversations I've actually managed to have with him have been great.....) Walked up through town, avoided drunk people, walked around Ring Road and tried to find Mars up in the sky, talked some (well, rather, mostly Dionys and Britty talked..I did more listening, tho I did make a few points when Dionys and Britty were debating about..oh goodness, I can't even think of what it was..something about life not mattering or the like, I think)...
Last night, Britt and Haruna and I went out to the Chinese buffet in town - cos HARUNA GOT A PART IN "OUR TOWN" YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!! *bounces*! and cos it's our first weekend back here. and cos we needed to get Britty AWAY from where people could reach her and spread angst. and just cos. *g* So that was good..well, 'cept for me making an arse outta myself AGAIN.. >_< ..but c'mon, it's not *my* fault I don't know how to eat stuffed scallop! I'm uncultured, I was just never exposed much to much foreign food and that sort of thing! bleh. (*giggles* really, it wasn't so bad, I just had to ask what I was supposed to do with it, and Haruna told me to scoop out the filling-stuff, which I did, then I hit the meat, and she's like ok now use a fork and get it out, slide it up under the top, and I made a mess of it but kinda managed...but then they made fun of me the whooole rest of the night cos they're evil. :p )
Had a bit to wait for the bus, so we went into the Dollar Store cos it's awesome, I got nail polish and zebra cakes and wd-40 and stuff.. *giggles* (On the bus, Britt asked if she could borrow my wd-40, I was like, whyyyyy, and she's like cos if you light it, you can make a flame-thrower--- I'm like holy shit dude NO! ..the brakes on my bike squeak, *that's* what you use the stuff for--! *laughs*)
Came back, talked to Megs awhile, was still over-full of Chinese food, went out for a bikeride, around then off the campus, discovered that *checks her handy map cos she's forgotten* Matteson Street is a very pretty little road, even by night... it's just outside the fringe of the campus off of Temple, with a few nice houses tucked back amidst nice wild woods and things... there's a bridge that crosses over the creek that runs all through and around this area... the street was lit enough that I could see and be seen, but the streetlights there like everywhere here are the warm soft golden ones... couldn't see any distance at all into the woods to either side, just the dim golden-green leaves and vines and things at the fringes [damn it's frustrating to never be able to use the word "edge" now and again..*giggles*]... but though they were dark, they weren't at all quiet, fields full of crickets and trees full of--- I don't know what they are, to be honest. They make kind of a scratchy sort of noise, I've no idea..... as I crossed the small bridge, I looked down at the creek below, the water dark, only a few patches lit here and there..and there's something deliciously scary about moving water at night like that.... there was a streetlight back near the trees and growth and vines had grown up around it, a grape vine dangling down by the light..(and somehow that was the most beautiful thing I'd seen all night).. a few of the houses had very nicely gardened lawns, gently lit here and there... one had a small weeping tree (a cherry or something that size), with an American flag hanging vertically down it, a soft spotlight on it from beneath, small yellow and a few red and white Christmas lights scattered in the branches just above it..and usually that sort of thing just looks so..I don't know, a little tacky obvious lame I don't know, I can't find the word for what I mean, but this...this was really pretty.
I reached an intersection, noting that it was Chestnut I'd hit again, and rode in a large circle deciding where to go next, I'd only been out for maybe half an hour at most (it takes me maybe fifteen minutes to ride completely around the extremities of the campus, including Ring Road)... and then as I was riding back along Matteson, suddenly there was TRAFFIC. Like, ten, fifteen, cars, all in a few minutes!
And cars while I'm riding...particularly at night...just REALLY pisses me off, it's not that I fear being hit (though occasionally Thursday and Friday nights I do), it's more that.. I'm not entirely sure, but it's the interupption I guess, it tears me out of the world and mind that I've fallen into...headlights blinding both literally and mentally....
Was back by 11, talked to Megs 'til about 6am (yeaaaahhh slash-night ^_^), then Britty IMed me, she was up with a friend who needed her on the phone.. so I read some more of the Zoo and stayed up with her awhile...then stayed up a little more, until around 6.30, yeah, and it was getting light so I went to bed. *g*
Finally got up about an hour ago, I oughta make a Paper Factory run in not too long, but I dunno yet. sleepy.

<3 Placebo... and <3 super-slashy Placebo gheeeeee ^___~

So, I wrote a lot last night, and I think most of it's shite, but... well, here's some of it, anyway, for what it's worth. *shrugs* (And no, all this writing doesn't mean I'm switching to an english major. hell no. it'd be awesome but I'm not *that* good..... ... ...not, of course, that I'm that good in *anything*, I mean, I am, but not anywhere near the best, even in the lowest band I'm feeling way out-done, drawing class I know'll be the same now that I'm in with art majors...*sighs* blah.)


Stars which once seemed so bright
   so light
   shimmering suns of other worlds
have now grown dim
   not dark
   but faded and tired, worn

Cos tonight I've looked up at them
   like other nights
   seeking for something I can't ask
   Begging without a sound
   pleading with my own tired soul
   a heart faded
   no longer strong
   no long a sun to anyone...


they talk too loud
endless chattering and overloud laughter
listening hurts

and the more there are around me
the more I feel alone

It's such an old grey story
but that doesn't make it any less real

I curl up tightly inside fearing
to be approached yet
somewhere longing.....

not wanting but perhaps needing


a pale grey feather lights on the ground fallen
from some other place
above, below, even it no long knows for
it has been blown about for so long.....

something once soft and gentle heavied
by the rain and turned brittle
by the cold and shredded and
torn and nothing can make it once more
what it once was

a heart that falls tumbles crashing
to the floor beneath a thousand
clamouring titters of polite laughter
  (they dance lightly around the pieces trusting
  that of course someone else will clear it up)

nothing can once more make it---


ok these next two are the ones I think are closer to, y'know, decent, of the lot..the above have things I like about them, but overall are just..geh. *shrugs* I dunno.
...I really wish I could write.....

anyway, the next one here began with me watching a Sigur Ros concert-bit, the first verse in particular...
..the one following that has touches of things from L.M. Montgomery's Magic for Marigold, which I'm currently re-reading..


lips parted sounds
pouring without words
   which would not be seen anyway

colour faded from
these eyes which could
   never see what you saw

ears which hear
and distinguish the tremble
   in the heart you cannot feel

and these sounds
fill your vision
   and your heart cries out

with a soul
blinded in even starlight
   plucked dry outside the desert

and rain refills the
once-empty eyes
   gentian grown in moonlight

and these sounds that
flood your eyes clench
   your heart with hunger


a sky no more than
  glitter spilled on a
  thin bedsheet
    too thin for the shivering child
    inside who clutches at it all
    the same as a dead maiden
    might a single pale lily
      in hands that once shone in
      the moonlight reflected from
      a lover's eyes
        which have long-ago turned away
        from the girl he promised to the
        girl who aches to love him
        again so she looks to
the sky which has grown thin
and tawdry moonfaded and washed by
a thousand falling stars that bleach
the darkness
  and nothing is as it should
  and our eyes see our dreams
  not fulfilled but penciled
  roughly in nothing connects quite
  right and the beauty we had
  envisioned refuses to leave our fingers
  and be seen

*Britty walks out of her room into the hall*
*says to Erin:*
"I can blooow on it..later....."

whee for quotes out of context *giggles*

So.. 'member the Adam-look-alike who was in my aural theory class last semester? who sat diagonally just ahead of me?
went down to the willi c for some food between classes this afternoon, about 3.30..looked about for a seat and *saw him there*. with a friend, but Adam-boy was sitting in the booth-part and thus facing me. soooo... there was an empty little-table next to him, so I sat there, our eyes met at one point but...what could I say, should've at least gone for a "hey" but I had headphones on and was too O__O at seeing him again. *giggles*
then, went over to Erie for dinner about 6.30 with Britty. sat down, started eating...and who's walking towards us but Adam-boy, with a girl I've seen around somewhere before and the kid he sat with at lunch. they sat down AT THE TABLE RIGHT BEHIND BRITTY. And Adam-boy? was sitting in the spot corresponding to Britt's - thus, behind her, facing ME. so anytime I looked up, *there* he was.

(he has gorgeous deep blue eyes...and he looks SO much like Adam it drives me up the fecking wall....)

So, otherwise... classes were good today, psych I have the good easy prof (and it'll be a very good class for writing/drawing in which's great ^_^), band is just happy, so yay. *g*

Decided to go out for a bikeride since band let out early, rode to the other side of town, found a little playground at the top of a hill on Prospect Street, went out along to the fringe of town, to where there were vineyards (which yes is like everywhere *giggles*) came back along Liberty I think, across the bridge that I explored beneath that one day Erin and I rode out that way...came back through town, along Temple Street again to the campus...and realised it hadn't even been an hour yet, I wanted to keep riding. So I decided to follow Temple out and see where it went... goes WAY out into NOWHERE.
Rode up hills and across a highway overpass and out past farms and nice houses and it was *definitely* way out in the country and it was very nice. *smiles*
After quite awhile, took a right onto Willow cos it looked like a nice place to go...went past some gorgeous houses, sitting near the creek that runs all through and around Fredonia, just... mmm. I need to go out there again with my camera, it was so beautiful, green everywhere and water and sun shining through leaves and houses tucked back in the midst of this.....
Took that a ways over to Chestnut, which sounded like a road I might've seen in Fredonia, and anyway it ran parallel to Temple so I figured I could get back to Fredonia that way. Roooode and rode and rode... finally got back to a town of some sort..was in *Pomfrey*. (again. *giggles*) So I'm riding through all these houses, getting veeerry tired by this point, going up hills and against the wind and on this endless road... was *this* close to stopping for directions, finally saw a stoplight ahead at the top of a hill, figured there had to be some sort of town-center there, I could maybe check my bearings...
Got there, and did a double-take.
I was on W. Main Street.
In Fredonia.
Messed with my head like hell but I was *super* glad to be back where I knew where I was again. Rode happily down the hill past the playground and into town and down to the gas station, where I got a bottle of water and a MAP of the county. ^________^
Stood out by my bike rehydrating and figured out where all the hell I went. *giggles*
Turns out... Fredonia's in the *town* of Pomfrey. Which explains more'n a few things, like the Pomfrey town hall that's in Fredonia that I didn't understand before *giggles*.
Came back to campus, checked the scale of the map...and was greatly disappointed that I'd only ridden like 5 or 6 miles total. 9___9 ..granted, I was only out for barely two hours, but still. geh. *giggles* Awesome thing is, Lily Dale, where Britt and Erin and I've been plotting to ride to sometime, is like 7 miles or something from here - which isn't bad at all. ^____^

So yeah. That's it for now. Hall meeting at 9 wheeeeeee.... 9_9

And so it begins...
Dad's *already* sent me an e-mail. 9___9

But dude, last night?
There was a nakedLar in my dreams.

Sadly, I can't remember most of things now, but like... we were on a boat. (Not sure why..prolly a combination of the pic Megs sent to me recently of Bono and Ali and Edge and a nonU2whothusisnotworthyofnaming on a boat, and skimming thru The Truman Show and the boat-bit at the end.) It had like a sail and stuff, but wasn't an old one, just, y'know, a boat.
And there was a very pretty Bono part that I can't really recall now, but I think he was facing towards me and smiiiiling or something and he just looked lovely and it was like yay. ^_^ (Tho, thinking about it... it might've been like a mid-80s Bono. hmm.)
And there was a Bono/Lar bit... I think Lar was all dressed up in like a waiter-suit and was carrying something to Bono's cabin and I *wish* I could remember what he was saying cos it was impossibly *cute*, I know he was acting out the part but I think he was being pretty insinuative with what he was saying and it *rocked*. And he was all griiinning at me (cos I was standing nearby watching, I think on the stairs or something) and he has dimples and ghee he's lovely. *g*
And *then*...
There was this part, where Lar and someone else (no idea who anymore) were standing on either side of these ropes that run across a space above tired of describing I'm drawing it looked like this:

Gheep. Yeah. They were like, pulling back and forth at the ropes, I forget what this accomplished (tho I'd assume something to do with the sail...or, y'know, BLINDS OF DOOM hi), but Lar was all grinning again and being gorgeous out in the sun and tugging at the rope, screwing around a little, it was pretty. and he was shirtless and I was like guuuuh he's amazing and then I realised he was COMPLETELY NAKED. And the only trouble was, I was a fair distance away, so I couldn't see him all that clearly, and it seemed a little blurry, but then like he was facing the side so I had profile and then he was moooving back and forth to pull at the rope, which meant that, uhh *cough*somethingwasswingingbackandforthandIcouldSEE*it*whenit
*bluuuushing grinning* yeah. *drools*

And that, sadly, is all I remember.. goodness knows I wish I could remember the rest, gheeeeeee.

Ok so I'm still tired but *again* couldn't fall back asleep so I think I'll try that again now. Or play DDR and wake up. One of the two. *g*

So, our window tried to kill us.
Haruna and I just must have a window-curse, I don't even know..

I was trying to get the blinds to come down a ways cos I was playing ddr and people could probably see me from outside and I look like a moron and they'd be like wtf what a freak she's bouncing around in her room.
So I fought with the stupid blinds for like ten minutes and I cried cos they wouldn't stay put even tho I pulled the cords over to the right and all.
Haruna came over to help me cos I was losing like a n00b.
And she was tugging at it and stuff and then CRASH the blinds and the metal top-part fell on us and my plants! and I spazzed cos I was afraid it killed my morning glories and african violet but they were good. and we were fine. but I like half-screamed like a moron. ^^;;;

So... we'll call maintenance in the morning... *giggling* Wow.

In lighter news...
I BEAT A 7 ON DDR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *spazzing* Granted, it's a non-official song..."Shining Collection" from Gravitation <3 <3 <3 But *still*!!!! I got it I GOT IT WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*is a dork but doesn't care* whee. ^_^
buuuut, now that I'm here, it's not so bad. *laughs*
All moved into my room here.. I still think it's a bit smaller'n the one we were in last year but whatever. We have niiice biiig desks which makes me happy. *g* Got here about 2pm or so yeaterday, Dad and merani-chan and I moved eeeverything in here, Britt was droping some stuff off so we said hi and were glad and rejoiced and then within about ten seconds were insulting each other again, merani&dad&I got food, then they left, I visited Daf, then came back here and stared at the piles of STUFF and didn't know where to even start. *giggles*
Then my roomie came back and we both rejoiced and were glad. *g* Re-arranged the room a little, then I set up my computer. and ddr. which works awesomely on this floor. ^_____^

Am actually mostly unpacked now, 'cept for books whihc might live in their cxrate anyway and cds, which, uh, maybe I'll do later today...

But I have U2 poisters on my wall so it feels a little like home now. ^_____^

Except this bed isn't all nice an' squishy like mine last year was, so I'm sad. Mad bouncy tho, which might prove entertaining. *giggles*

Contact info now that I'm here is in my aim profile, for anyone who needs it. (which'll include myself cos I only barely know my phone # yet..... ^^; )