***stardust

7.31.2004

Megs...
I'm so sorry, with all my heart I'm sorry... we'll make things right again, I know we will. Love you.....

...undulation's one thing, but must it feel like a damn cliff sometimes? *sigh*

*Ananda Daydream * 1:57 AM * (0) stars grow bright *

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7.28.2004

omfgwtffhd;sj.
I verynearlyDIED in my dreams again.
*AND* it involved trains.

*sigh*

..I still don't get the train-thing, I like them well enough but it's not like a fixation or an actual fear. and it's not like I've been even at all stressed lately (except perhaps about work/babysitting/mowing/etc, but that only minorly and not even like every day), so why the hell I keep dreaming up near-death experiences for myself I haven't the faintest.
meh.

*Ananda Daydream * 12:53 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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Rejoice! Where I had earlier pawed through a few piles, looking for paycheck stubs, I just found a thing most yearned-for of late.

A fresh, clean, enticingly blank cheap-walmart-notebook.

^_____________^

..I just can't bring myself to write in anything else yet, this's the third one I've used (for my own purposes..I've gone through, like, ten for classes), I was afraid I was out of them...but I guess I'm safe for now. ^_^ (Though, once I'm back in Fredonia I'll be sure to hit up wal-mart for another stash - the things are under a buck apiece, the paper's a bit thin but something about these..I'm just completely drawn in by. And I realise it probably sounds utterly ridiculous, but it's the same with sketchbooks, each one has a different sort of vibe to it, and some I can use, some I can't, some only for certain things... chalk it up to an artist's quirk. *g*)

So, had a good day, woke up, had breakfast while watching an episode of Rose of Versailles, got some jell-o started cos it takes like four hours to set, played ddr for half an hour, showered, watched a few episodes of Kokoro Library (random cute little series about three sisters who run a library in the middle of nowhere. sounds odd, I know, but it's nice and light and happy and cute. *g*) while making some cookies, made dinner, helped mel with dishes cos she balked at the number of them *giggles*, and waited for Megs to get online, and Erik to pick me up.
Erik was a weeee bit late, but really, that was fine by me cos then I actually had a good hour-ish to talk to Megs, which made me happy. ^_^ *huggles*
Went over to Erik's about 7, watched Pulp Fiction (which..I'm sorry, I can't see the genius that others see in Quentin Tarentino whose name I may've butchered, but maybe that's just due to my lack of amusement at people randomly pissed as all hell and then killing each other with lots of blood and things :p). The usual comments, insults, and tickling-attacks ensued...but he will bear the scars of my fingernails for a day or so I'm thinkin', so that's a good start on revenge. ^~_~^
Watched some Family Guy on dvd, between insulting each other, me poking him back to normal as he mock-pouted from said insults, bringing couch-cushions into our usual friendly disparagements, etc. *giggles* Anyway, was fun, and it's just good, y'know? cos we really are back to friends again, same as ever, and that makes me happy. ^_^
..no, despite what mel thinks, I'm not in love with him again. :p He's not even getting consideration from me in regards to that 'til a year of college's helped him grow up a little more. But he's my friend, so 'course I'll hang out with him and insult him and punch him and things. *g*

Left about midnight, in midst of the thickest fog I think I've ever been in a car in, gooodness. We could see like, ten, maybe fifteen feet ahead, and then there was this impenetrable black blur that descended right down, obscuring everything. Would've loved to've gone out walking in it, even more, to've gone down to the IGA parking lots with a camera, there was such a perfect sparkling glow around the lights.....only all I've got just now is 400 speed film, which I know full well wouldn't've come near to cutting it. meh.
I really do need to give up trying to save money, and just get 800 speed normally...and maybe try to get a few rolls of 1600 or higher to hold in reserve, for concerts and nights like this. ^_^

*Ananda Daydream * 2:36 AM * (0) stars grow bright *

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7.27.2004

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*breathes*

ok I feel a little better now. -_-;;; ..friggin' Lawrence has been so pissy lately, he goes into these little 10-minute bouts of constant-thinking-light-on, and goes soooo sloooowly that I can't do like *anything*, and then programs stop responding and it's basically, y'know, DOOM. I mean fortunately these aren't *too* terribly frequent, a couple times every few days or so...but that's more'n enough to both aggrevate me and make me rather concerned. :

Aaanyway...

amazon.com is *still* my friend, even when it's the British version of the site. Mel wanted this song, the only place she could find it was on this cd, and this was the only place she could find the cd... the thing was mad cheap to begin with (it's random happy hardcore stuff, so I mean.. *giggles*), but I was a bit concerned about shipping.
..shipping was like, $2, it'll be here within a week.
<3

Have had a rather busy past few days - I get far more rest during the week than I do weekends wtf. Mowed on Thursday, worked Thurs. and Fri., tried to get to bed at like midnight Fri. as I had to babysit..no luck, couldn't sleep 'til like, 2am. Got up at like 7am, was running a tad late (in dad's book..but it didn't really matter if I wasn't there at 7.30, as she doesn't leave 'til 8 anyway), got over there at like, 7.45.
Connor and Myranda hadn't gotten to sleep 'til like 2am either, due to being out at the drive-in at the Corral all night...but of course that didn't mean they slept in. -_-; So they were a bit listless (for them) and cranky during the day...which was good inasmuch as we didn't have to go back and forth between Meadowbrook and Hubbard Park like 463289 times, but...
I leave them alone for like 2 minutes, to go to the bathroom while they're busy cleaning house as their mom had asked...and soon's I close the door, I hear them running and screaming at each other. So, I ended up going upstairs to talk to Connor, Myranda of course follows, they each say the other threw something at them but I was just like, look, I don't even care who threw it, it doesn't matter, just, no more, got it?
So things were calm for awhile, until about 4, when they wanted a snack. Decided on pudding. Myranda hands me THREE boxes of chocolate to make. I'm like O_o; ehm, NO. She's like, well but I *liiike* pudding. I'm like dude no two boxes makes plenty enough for 5 people, and there's only 3 of us here. So as I'm talking her down from the three boxes, Connor appears and decides he wants pistachio.
I'm like alright well, I'm only gonna make one box here, so decide.
They of course couldn't, Myranda started counting off the "bubblegum, bubblegum" thing, but within like a second I could see that she knew the trick to getting the result she wanted so I'm like okno. Thus I end up holding fingers behind my back and having them guess between one and ten. Connor won, and started dancing all about rubbing it in like MAAAAAD---
---next thing I knew, Myranda had jumped on him, knocked him to the floor hitting him, and as he fell the back of his head hit the corner of the refridgerator. Myrana's running off victorious, Connor's on the floor bawling and screeeeaaaaming, I dropped to the floor to pick him up and be sure he was ok and calm him down, told Myranda to get a cold cloth, but by the time she got back I already had ice in a paper towel...
..gooooodness it was insane omfg.
Made sure Connor wasn't dizzy or bleeding or anything, and told him to go sit quietly in front of the tv and rest for a few minutes, Myranda was already sitting on the couch. So while they calmed down, I made the pudding I'd promised to - only I made banana cream, which neither of them'd asked for, to make my point. :p
Just as I'm heading into the living room to give it to them, their mom walks in the door, and within half a second Connor's telling her Myranda hit him.
"Yeah, we had a bit of an incident a few minutes ago..." I explained, and-- goodness me, this woman lets *nothing* bother her! *laughs, shaking head* I'd realised this before, but it's mad, I can't even understand..

After all of this, I came home, collapsed, filling Dad in on the day of doom...then talked to Daf, and we headed right over to Erik's grad party. *laughs* I was so dead it wasn't even funny, but after I was there awhile I managed to, y'know, at least be semi-human again. *g*
--though the first few minutes, I felt like I was half-dreaming, we headed outback and headed over to Erik Laur & co....and this guy walks up to me, saying hi, and I'm like O_O; *DUDE*! *laughs* It was my photography-buddy Brandon, whom I hadn't seen since senior year...and had actually been thinking about the other day, oddly enough. So we start talking, and then Shelley was there, who I also hadn't seen since graduation. Fecking madness. But good madness. ^_^ So it was really great, I spent the night with Daf Laur Julie and Erik, and also Brandon and Shelley, and it was mad fun. There were Barrels of Monkeys and those mad lil Chinese yo-yos on every table set up out there, and, well.. yeah, more proof that the more random and silly a thing is, the more people our age will enjoy them. *giggles* While Laur and her brother and people were playing with the monkeys, Brandon Shelley and I were having a complete war with the Chinese yo-yos... Shelley managed to stockpile tons of them, and I got a few good shots in myself, but *damn* that boy had *mad* aim, I'm sitting there trying to eat (dinosaur bbq <3) and he's hitting the food on my fork! *laughs* crazy boy. So, uh, yeah, it was interesting.
Really, though, it was a great night, Brandon and I talked a *lot*, which was really awesome, and I spent a lot of time with Daf and Laur and Julie..and really, that's the best I've ever gotten on with Julie, I think. *laughs gently* ..it was funny though, cos we're all sitting there talking, and we're like, *duude*, Erik's ex-gf's and close associates..we could tell some *mad* stories about this boy, his friend John's sitting there like oh *really*.. and Erik walks up looking absolutely *petrified*. *diiies giggling*
...but we'll not even try to count the number of times I repeated the promise I'd made to Megs about no more dating younger guys, my mind kept replaying it like a fecking mantra all night...cos, y'know, Erik's still Erik (and the necklace of his I was holding - first for safe-keeping while he was on the trampoline, then later Daf Julie and I just decided not to give him *back* his "holy objects" - smelled like him...), and Brandon, I always had a minor sort of crush on..he's still really hot and fun and cool and---
yeah it's bad, I'm just doomed. *laughs faintly, shaking head*

..not that it's really so bad as that, I exaggerate, but stiiiill.

Got home at like, what, 11ish that night, was up with Megs for a few hours longer, then crashed..managed 9 hours of sleep, but that wasn't enough after only having had five the night before, so I rolled out of bed at like noon to shower and be over at Pearce by 1, to go help set up for vbs this week. Thank *goodness* that only ended up being like, two hours worth of work, cos not only was I tired (and had forgotten to eat anything before leaving home -_-; ), but it was extremely labour-intensive work. Those damn round tables are DOOM omfg.
Then Dad tells me today that half the stuff we moved? yeah definitely DIDN'T NEED TO BE MOVED, though they'd told us to.
>_<;;

So, last night, being tired and bored and things, I felt like going out for dinner or something, Mel suggested ordering in Chinese (cos someone's too lazy to ever even get dressed before like 4pm), Dad actually went for it. 'Course then he tried to make me call in the order but I completely balked. *laughs* Pathetic, I know. So we had yummy Chinese food, and Mel and I watched Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust, which I adore, so that was good. Talked to Megs, then actually sat down with my Mackie'n'AchtungBono fic and managed to write a good two pages..which doesn't sound like much, but as it'd only been 4 pages so far and I'd been stuck for weeeeks..it was a lot. *g*
Slept in today, happyhappy, woke up sore and had to mow the lawn. wheeee.

But I baked cookies while Megs was napping this evening, so that was fun. *g*

And now that I've bored y'all, I'm going to go finish updating DS. ^_^ (lj's just updated as well.)

*Ananda Daydream * 1:50 AM * (0) stars grow bright *

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