***stardust

9.18.2004

so attempt #1 at getting a cat didn't go so well...
I *knew* this was going to happen, but I've mentioned misgivings before and I felt a bit cold-shouldered, so I've kept my mouth shut the last few days, trying to be optimistic.

So we get out to the Humane Society's place outside of Jamestown, and there are the sweeetest cats everywhere omg. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Like we walk in the door and there's a few cats right there and Britt and I *instantly* fall in love with this darling little grey cat. And then there's another grey cat. And then there's the softest black'n'white cat (who we loved..uhm, until as I was holding her? she *flipped* out and bit me and I have no idea why ^^;;; and you guys know me, I'm so totally a cat-person, I have no idea what happened, it's not like I did anything wrong), then there's the most playful little spazz-cat, all brown and black and little... And then there were the two I thought were really sweet, one a tawny cream who kept butting up against the side of her lil compartment there, wanting attention, and the one beside her.. oh my goodness, the preeeettiest cat.. part siamese, it seemed, but friendly nonetheless, a soft brownish cream with darker areas by her ears and feet (but striped a little there, not like, straight siamese I think)..with the most *incredible* blue eyes I have ever seen on a cat, so bright and clear and...
So I was totally in love, Britt was totally in love...
Then, in talking to one of the workers, we found out that not only do they need to *call* our landlord? but he needs to fill out some paperwork, before they let us have the cat.
Justin put out the idea of giving them his grandpa's number and having him say he's our landlord...which, uhm, yeah, is a WEE bit sketchy.

Finally we tore ourselves away and headed back out to leave.. and Justin'n'Meghan seemed pretty set to give up. But Britt and I really think we should just sit down with ~~Babbit~~ Norm and reason things out with him - cos we really *do* have reason on our side. (1) We're good tenants, we've done so much to clean and fix up this place, really? he owes us, yo. (2) He has a $300 security deposit FROM EACH OF US. $1200 is *far* beyond the amount of damage one little cat could cause (and it's not like you'd notice any further damage on anything in this house anyway). (3) With as good of care as we're trying to take of this place, obviously we're going to be able to take care of a cat. (4) He said he'd had a bad time with a tenant having a DOG. Not a cat. On top of that, we're purposely going for an older cat, who's not going to be spazzing all over.

So, really, if we just sit the four of us down and calmly present all of this to Norm, if he's at all a reasonable person (which I think he is, a little slow it would seem about some things, but a decent enough person), we've got a good shot.
But Justin seems pretty down on the idea, all 'well it didn't work before, so it won't work now'. Yeah that's cos he fed Norm some made-up story *on the phone*, about a *dog*. I think a puppy, even, at that. Also, that was before Britt and I even got here, I don't even know that Justin'd been here more'n a few weeks.

If Justin would hold off on being negative for five fecking minutes, and was willing to have all four of us talk to Norm in person, we really would have a fair shot.

B'sides, it was him trying by himself to casually try to get Norm to agree to a dog. This would be Britt and I trying to talk him into a cat.
Britt and I're damned stubborn, especially Britt, and we're mad good at arguing things.

*Ananda Daydream * 1:51 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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9.17.2004

Please sit down.
Have something nearby to chomp on that won't bleed - I nearly drew blood two places on my hand.
And screamed.
Aloud.
Literally.
Yes me.

a new picture

*passes the ever-loving fuck OUT*

I will never, ever recover. mother fucking guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhh Larry Mullen Jnr. is the hottest man ever to grace this planet.

*runs out of words again and just staaaaaares*

*Ananda Daydream * 6:54 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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I *AM* a spazz good lord. *laughing, shaking head*
When Megs originally gave me the single news, that was saying that it was going to RADIO Sept. 24, and apparently we thought the single'd be released then as well but of course not, if I actually stopped to think at all, radio release comes before single release which's beginning of the month that the album's released in.
Darlin', do me a favour and make sure you make things unreasonably clear to me, cos I am a complete spazz and will stop thinking at all logically the moment the name U2 is mentioned. *giggles* goooodness wow.

In other news..

is it a bad thing that my winmx folder is 44gbs? ^^;

*Ananda Daydream * 11:22 AM * (0) stars grow bright *

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amendnemenenent.
I have the dearest friends in all the world.
^_______^

*uber-hugs! to Megs and Britty*

cos I was re-reading bits of my chat with Megs tonight and she takes the best care of me in all the world. and after everything tonight and all, Britt left me a random message on aim sending me hugs and hoping I felt better, so I went over and we talked a little and now I feel less excluded disliked etc.

I am such a paranoid little moody thing some days. Goodness only knows how you all deal with me.

Sleeeeeep now. *blows kisses* sweet dreams, all~

*Ananda Daydream * 1:10 AM * (0) stars grow bright *

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'nother remix of note: Staring at the Sun, Brothers in Rhythm club mix.

Not of note due to cheese this time. *giggles*

U2 + trancey-ness = happy me. <3

(so yeah, the trance in perfecto mix of Lemon is like, my audial paradise. heeeeeh. <3)

...ooo, and the Eddie Baez mix of "Bad" is surprisingly awesome as well. Colour me impressed by non-official mixes tonight. ^_^ (eep, only.. ok I know that's B at the beginning at least, but then later into the song..either he sounds that much different sped up a bit, it's someone else, or I've *really* not listened to the Unfire album in aaaages. ^^; )

In other, more important U2 news...

NEW PICTURES! lots and lots and they're from TODAY and YESTERDAY omfgbdjklbs;dk.

...

make that, yesterday and the day before. *giggles*

But they're from the shoot for the new video! \0\ And LARRY'S HAIR IS NOT TOO SHORT! /0/ And?

HALF-NAKED BONO YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

only one catch.

there's a notable absense of happyBonofuzz.

this is a mystery yet to be resolved. ..he's still hot and gorgeous and makes me..uhm..nevermind, but, I miss the fuuuuuzzzz. *giggles*

And *STILL* more important than my Bonofuzz fixation?

THE SINGLE GOES TO RADIO NEXT WEEK WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!? *runs around in ecstatic little circles* Will give y'all more details when *I* know more details cos I only just picked up this tidbit from a comment someone left on Megs' lj. *giggles* But YAY! *bounces* Holy feck Megs and I are going to literally bounce through the roof of this lil house that day, good lord.

^______________________________^

..so, yes, am in a slightly better frame of mind than I was earlier. or I'm just shoving it away more effectively at this point. *shrugs* I'll be better once I get some sleep---

---which I *PROMISE*, I will do verysoon. I so can't even keep my eyes open. bleh.

*Ananda Daydream * 1:08 AM * (0) stars grow bright *

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9.16.2004

Antisocialness and lonliness do not go well together.

And I know it's my own damn fault for never talking, but... *sighs*

It's not so easy for me.

...meanwhile, my own damn housemates have decided we-- excuse me, they - I was only just now invited by Britt - are going to the animal shelter on Saturday to look for a cat. (No, they're still not allowed, and yes, we were going to try to talk the landlord into letting us..which I really, really wish we'd do, but they've apparently decided that since we *can* sneak it around him, we should...)

I did ask Britt when all this was decided and why I hadn't known, she said they were talking about it a few days ago..I said yeah, but I didn't know anything was actually finalised...
Britt said it was while I was in my room, talking to Megs, and no-one disturbs me when I'm talking to Megs cos I get cranky.
Very cranky.
Really.

...it hurts more when they leave me out of everything entirely, they could have at least included me, instead of just a "oh if you want to come on Saturday, you'd have to get up early but we're going to Jamestown..."
Yeah I get a lil testy sometimes when my time with Megs is interrupted, and I'm all antsy to get back, but that's cos it's usually over something random and silly.

*sighs* ..but I always get down when I'm not feeling well, and I've been feeling rather lonely for a week or so to begin with anyway...very much on the outside of everything, and alone......and I know a fair bit of it's my own fault, but... there just hasn't really been anyone for me to talk to.

Megs...I can't wait until you're here, I keep telling myself it'll be alright again once you are.....

...only at the same time, I know how much it's gonna tear me apart to say goodbye to you again, and how hard the days after are going to be.....

..but enough from me, this is anything but productive. I should go out and hang out with my housemates in the other room... whether I feel I'm just some random person taking up space around here or not, that's not gonna have a chance to change if I just sit here and mope.

*Ananda Daydream * 11:20 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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Really, I should get myself some friends around here...but I'm dreadful at insinuating myself into already-set groups, and that's all I see around me sometimes.....
In the dorms, I only ever felt so antisocial, cos there were always random people around, and I usually wound up chatting with a few every day... off-campus, though, it's just the four of us, and I can sit in my room alone and be completely undisturbed for hours on end.

I need to start drawing again, now that the writing's relaxing a bit (p.s. Megs, you had a chance to read "As An Angel..." yet? no hurry, just wondering, your feedback is always good ^_^)... reading is good for the moment though, it gives me some new ideas to run through my mind, once they settle out, I should have some new angles to work into things and it'll be good.

*Ananda Daydream * 2:15 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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Hmm. Ten minutes into class, and my professor is still mia. *giggles, shrugs* He's a spazz anyway.
...only now I've checked everyone's blogs and ljs and my mail and things, and I've nothing to do cos I'm too out of it to manage any notebook-writing just now. (Though, there again, some of my favourite things are the things I've written when half-asleep...)
There are times I am *indescribably* glad I haven't any real classes on Fridays, and that VAP's only tonight this week - crashing for a few days will be *wonderful*.
I have good books I need to finish reading, and nothing sounds better right now than curling up with a book with something good playing in the background and reading and dozing in whatever amounts strike me as good.

Goethe's The Sufferings of Young Werther is my new favourite book.
<3

*Ananda Daydream * 2:10 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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9.15.2004

Having just finished the second of my library books that wound up being set in a high school...
Amidst the tyranny of early mornings and gym class and all, there are a lot of things I miss. I miss the people. I miss the confidence I had, I miss the thrill of doing or saying something completely off the map and being different, I miss the bravery I had. I miss the way I thought I could change the world, I miss the boldness of my dreams and the fire that burned so brightly to fuel them.
But at the same time... while it's a little quieter now, and a little lonely.. I couldn't go back, not now. There are things about myself that I miss, but there are a lot of things I wouldn't want to go back. I've learned a lot in such a short time...and not just about finances classes making good use of time and all that sort of thing, but about people and about me, and though a lot of it's incredibly muddy still... it's a start. At the time, I thought I was really open-minded, and, in my little world, I was...but there were so many things I didn't even know could be seen another way, so many things, I was blind to, blinded by ignorance and by my own reluctance to consider...
I knew who I was then. I'm not sure I do now, but I know it's something a little better.

..and I swear I'm really going to bed now, I have a mofo of a headache and I'm probably sick but I was wrapped up in a book. Sleeping now. Promise. *g*

*Ananda Daydream * 11:57 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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ok. *giggles* so I asked my professor and she said it might have to do with the screen resolution, so I just tried opening it on here.
still huge. *laughs*

I did make one discovery, however - try shrinking the window. *giggles* the flash should shrink along with it.. 'least it does on here, using this Safari browser thing... *shrugs, giggles* who knoooowwws, I'll sort this out eventually I s'pose.

*Ananda Daydream * 1:53 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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omFg *dies giggling*
It was NOT supposed to be that big, good lord. *laughs* Uhm. Let's see if I can tweak that...

*tries*

Nope. *giggling* Still Godzilla-chibi. gooooodness. uhm. hmm.

*pokes around*

ok. so when viewed thru flash, it's the right size. the minute it hits html-land, it becomes gargantuan. *giggles* I haven't the faintest why, I've only used this program for, what, a couple weeks? and most of that was trying to figure out why, as mentioned, my button kept flying off the screen. *laughs, shakes head* hmm.

*plays a lil more*

damnit. *giggling*

*begins spamming every comp-geek online on my buddy list*

*wishes like anything Nate was on* ^^;

..if I don't update tonight, assume I gave up and actually went to bed, and will ask my prof when I get to class tomorrow. *giggles, rolls eyes* goooodness.

*Ananda Daydream * 1:58 AM * (0) stars grow bright *

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I MADE MY FIRST FLAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!

^_______________________^

I mean, y'know, apart from class exercises where I sent buttons flying off the screen cos I'm a n00b. *giggles*

But look! it's a lil chibi Bono and he's CUTE!

the CUTEness <3

..I'm incredibly new to vector-based graphics, so forgive the suckiness. *giggles* You don't even wanna know how long it took me to do something this simple. Have loooots to learn, yo.

But yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! \0/

*Ananda Daydream * 1:52 AM * (0) stars grow bright *

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9.14.2004

*giiiiiggling helplessly*
You *know* you're in need of sleep when you start laughing hysterically - and then grooving - to the "WinGroove Mix" of U2's "Discotheque".

It is, essentially, a midi. Complete with twangy melody and mysteriously appearing cowbells.

Were I in any sort of real frame of mind, I would have deleted within five seconds, but it's just toooo fuuuunny omg.

(If anyone feels like joining in my vast amusement, I *think* I set up aim right to share my files.. for this, go to F drive, mp3s, winmx. and lemme know if it works, I've not tried this yet.)

*Ananda Daydream * 1:20 AM * (0) stars grow bright *

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9.13.2004

DS updated with a Davy lj icon and a loooot of Micky lj icons. hee. <3

*giggles, shaking head* seriously, one pic of my Mickybabe and I'm spazzing like a Monkeefreak all over again, it's funny. *G*

Meanwhile, not much new to report.. pretty quiet weekend, spent a day with Daf which was very cool and fun ^_^ , talked to Megs online lots and played with U2s in the closet, brought down a chair and a lil nightstand-y thing with three drawers from the attic for my room, spent an hour or two cleaning them then re-arranging in here, have some more pictures up on the walls.. it's really starting to look homey, which's good. ^_^
Classes are alright, am finally starting to get my feet under me in flash, which's good, cos I was definitely floundering a bit there. (Spent like an hour last week trying to figure out why my button kept flying off the side of the screen... once something's an object, it *stays* an object, and I was trying to make a movie clip into a button, thinking I was just copying the image. *facepalm, giggles* Too much time in photoshop, I need to re-adjust my thinking...)

I'm hungry, can barely keep my eyes open, and have a good bunch of pages of philosophy to read. Joy of joys.

p.s. *huuuuuugs to Megs* cos you're the best ever. thanks so much for everything, dear~

p.p.s. NINE DAYS 'TIL I SEE MEGS YAAAAAAY! \0/ ..actually eight days now, and some bunches of hours. ^___________^ yayyayyay.

*Ananda Daydream * 11:48 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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