I'm in love with my Larry again.
After like, a week or so of randomly Edge-lusting.
All is right again with the world. ^______^

 
dude. random search finds...
okhi.com.
*dies laughing*

 
okhi. need to stop reading qpq and mel's lj and type. oh wait. i need a shower. and I was gonna be good and pack of some of mom's stuff for her. and she'll be back in like an hour and i stil have two more pages or something crazy to type cos yeah.

but thesaurus.com isn't always perfect, which makes me sad. it had "yawp" as a synonym of like, gawk. and, as we all know, a yawp is nothing like gawking.
whee for Dead Poets Society. :D

and I just realised I'm hungry, I've been awake for three hours already >_____< and haven't eaten yet and whee.
i'm so fooking sleepy.

there need to be more words for look. cos I use gaze and glance too much, and there aren't very many decent alternatives. beam, yes, watch, okay, glare or stare or observe, on occasion. but gawk and gape and all of these are just icky and i need PRETTY!!!!!
*cuddles a lilLar*
*hehe*
okhi. I shouldn't try posting this early in the day. bad idea. i'm sounding like mel again. which is amusing and all but she's going to kill me.

*looking up synonyms for "beautiful"*
*hehehehe* Edge has a foxy face??? okno. *giggles like mad* "pulchritudinous" wtf??? even if it *does* mean pretty it doesn't sound it at ALL.. hmm. we could do flawless... yeah. cos I think I've already used "perfect" and "beautiful" starts soudning cheesy at this point and I've already done borderline-cheesy a few sentances back. >_<

ok. def. hungry. getting food now kbye.

p.s. DIAL-UP IS HELL AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 
isn't there a song about
too much drama?
listen to the people around you
every single one has something eating away their days
every single group of friends a soap opera inside


Sitting at the top of the stairwell listening
to the neighbors downstairs as they argue
She accusing he
"When you're sad I feel it" "I know
when you breathe because I love you
that much" "God forgive this man for what he
says he's mixing up his words"
"God is my witness..."
She loves him she says her voice sharper than a blade
His occasional protests broken by a smoker's cough
Overheard as I sit at the top of the stairwell
Watching cars go by under golden steetlights
A world in golden grey and green and black
They argue and I'm in awe of the way the light falls on
the black metal railings and the textured brick wall and
my crumpled looseleaf
"You gonna love me now?"
I hear a kiss
And her voice still grates but
perhaps it's always so
Quiet falls
I press play and fall into the world of my favourite band
As I write a story for a friend, the sweet smell of ink filling me
Worlds collide then diverge
never to meet again


Is this how all the writer-girls before me felt, up in the garrets, apart from the world below? Hearing the arguments and lives below but not a part of them, just writing and pulling in wisps of the worlds nearby, spinning them into threads of new colours to work into the fabric?



ok I don't care how lame it all is, I was just writing as I was sitting there writing. ... *laughs* yeah. Spent the night at Mom's apartment, Mom and Mel were trying to sleep and the lights inside were too bright, the door out to the balcony was too loud, so I crept out the front door and sat on the landing just outside it. For like, two and a half hours. After a bit I heard voices downstairs, at first I thought it was Joan-the-crazy-lady talking to herself, but then I heard a male voice so I figured it wasn't. Talking to Mom this morning, they argue all the time, loudly... I don't know. I listened for awhile, trying to make out what was going on, they must've had their door open cos I could hear every little thing (though I couldn't make out all of their words)... And I'm wondering now how much of all that ended up tying into my fic - the whole thing is from Adam's pov, they're in NYC, and he's talking about how he sometimes just sits and spends an entire day watching and listening to the people passing by: "Scraps of conversation and others' observations float in the busy air. ... Still, I enjoy sitting alone at times, observing. It's quite relaxing in its way. There's not the slightest bit of perssure to interact, no concern for what they might think of one, no stake in the outcome nor responsiblity to it. Nothing at all. Just a complacent observer of life."
I don't even know if I would have ended up working in that angle if I wasn't suddenly feeling that way myself, or maybe it just articulated how I was feeling though I didn't realise it...
whee for writing. *G*
But yeah. Who'd have thought that a (mostly) quiet, bland stairwell in a Henrietta apartment would be so inspiring? I wrote like, three pages front and back of my fic for megs (typing it now, babe, you'll have it by the time you get home today ^_^)... mad fun.
Only I didn't get to sleep 'til about 3, and then Mom and Mel were up so I woke up prolly around 8.30, 9am. *not letting self think about how little sleep that is*
Going back to typing now - stuck on dial-up here so yeah.

 




Which Homestar Runner character are you?

this quiz was made by jurjyfrort
In light of the fact that these images are hosted on FRICKIN' GEOCITIES COS SOMEONE'S A N00B, I'm taking a que..cue? from Laur and typing out what it says. *g*
You are: Marzipan!
You're a feminine influence on people, and a conscientious and thoughtful citizen that cares about the issues. You love all that is good and cute in the world and will speak up, or sing if necessary, to defend what is right. You try to share your views and interests with your friends to broaden their social and cultural awareness. You're also kind of annoying, overbearing, and a big hippie, but your coconfidence still wins you many suitors. You can be patient with people that are disliked, but never fail to speak your mind when you're angry, even at your friends. You get along best with cute little animals. Others will vary according to mood.
*sihgs* Alriiiight, alright, it fits. THo I resent the negative-tone taken with the hippie-bit. :p As for cute.. I have to be in the mood for cute. eh. Whee for the disliked! (I still wanted to be Strong Sad... what?? he's cool! he listens to good music. *g* and his Hallowe'en costume was Andy Warhol. And he's just great so there. :p But Pompom's cool too. *giggles* whee.)

 
There's a girl on my buddylist, I don't think I've ever IMed her, I've only spoken to her irl a few times... but at the end of her profile, she says: 'do you ever wish you could change the past? I do... every single day.'
That makes me so sad..... it really does.

I've had a splendid few days... very quiet, but very good. It's been *gorgeous* weather, my afternoons have been spent laying out in the backyard, getting some colour back into my skin, watching the fish and tadpoles in the pond for hours at a time, writing my fic for megs (was on a roll today, three pages front-and-back ^___^), and just looking around me, enjoying the lumenescent green of the warm sun shining through the leaves of the trees and the plants in the garden... the world is so beautiful, it truly is. And it's so easy to overlook that, oh, hey, the sun's out today, how nice! and then go on with sitting around the house in the dimness doing various types of nothing. Granted, sitting out back, I don't do much either, but somehow, it's very much a nicer sort of nothing, drinking in the sun and the beauty of God's world out there.

I have my regrets, yeah, and somedays, yeah, they get me down...but how can you let yourself dwell on them? I'm not saying we should all be hyper-happy all the time, not at all, God knows I'm not, but... I don't know. There's so much beauty, in every little thing... how can you keep yourself blind to everything but your own self-labeled mistakes?

I think people just need to go outside more. ~_^

We were going to go to Letchworth for Father's Day, but the good car's still in the shop, and Dad didn't want to risk taking the little blue car on that long of a drive, so we ended up just sitting around outside, Dad helping Mel with a bit of studying for her French exam, sitting in the shade, Matt joining them for a bit, while I lay out in the grass in the sun and gazed inot the pond, watching the tadpoles munching on the bits of algae growing on the poump-pipe, or the plants, looking down into the depths of the pond, looking around for the much larger bullfrog tadpoles, or the fish... I got out my camera after awhile, and took pictures around the pond and the yard.. and got what should be a pretty good one of merani-chan when she wasn't looking. *g*
Then in the evening Dad built a nice little bonfire, and he and Beth sat out there awhile, Mel and I joining them with our stories to work on after awhile. When the fire had died down a bit, we toasted a few marshmellows - I'm out of practise, I kept burning mine, and I usually don't at all >_< ... Mel was being spastic, which amused me to no end... came inside, talked with Mel a bit--or, rather, laughed at her as she bounced around the kitchen spinning in circles and things..*mad giggles*

But yeah. Did copious amounts of writing today, and though it's an angsty story overall, it's a nice bright shimmery sweet scene that's in there now... yay for U2 being the best band ever. ^_^ (I just need to go back through at some point and find words other than shimmering and shining and all these sparkly, star-like things I keep using...) Am a little sunburnt, but not bad - instead of laying out there frying this year, I'm trying to remember not to stay out there too long at a time. Less painful, for one, and probably better for me, thinking about it... *shrugs* It's not really that I lie out there for hours in the sun with the sole intent of "tanning" (which is usually much more burning for me), it's that it's nice out in the sun, and the shade's too cold and the sun feels better anyway, and I can't just sit inside on days like today. Okay, so not being ghostly-white is nice too, but..y'know. I'd still be out there even if it didn't colour my skin at all. ^_^

Newsboys are also absolutely wonderful. I need to get 'Thrive' one of these days... good stuff. <3

Alright. Back to typing now, still have another page front-and-back to go, plus I edited some bits of earlier portions... whee for readily-flowing creativity. ^_^