As Megs' impossibly sweet BoyBono said...
Achtung Meggie's BoyB: *cups hands around his mouth and talks into her back* "ok, listen up, little ovaries...we know you're in there and that you rock, and we appreciate what little miracles you are, so you can stop making such a fuss now and leave our sweet Melissa in peace"
Achtung Meggie's BoyB: *kisses once over each* "got that? no more!"

 
WARNING: The following post contains some highly-corrupted comments. Definitely not rated E for everybody. Rated..I don't even know. ohh, yes I do. Rated A. *gheeehehehe* *blinks* *GUH* *dies*


Achtung Meggie: lol lar's drumstick is too hard
zoorebeler: fvdhskl'jfdlksf
zoorebeler: jvcfkdl;nk
zoorebeler: jkd'lfklsnmfklds'
Achtung Meggie: lol
Achtung Meggie: sorry
zoorebeler: don't SAY things liek that to me today!!!!


zoorebeler: he was here 'til..a bit past 5.30
Achtung Meggie: coolness
zoorebeler: yeah. so it wasn't super-long, but yeah.
zoorebeler: ghee
Achtung Meggie: !!!!!!!!!1
Achtung Meggie: don't tell him that
zoorebeler: nvj';kldnkldsnfsdkl;f
zoorebeler: I DIDN"T MEAN *THAT*!!!!!
Achtung Meggie: heheh
zoorebeler: guuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *DIES*
Achtung Meggie: ^________^
Achtung Meggie: that just made my night
Achtung Meggie: heheheheheheeh
zoorebeler: *thwaps with stale breadstick* it would


zoorebeler's Lil-Lar: *doesn't *quite* look convinced, but softening a little*
Achtung Meggie: ^~_~^ after he softens, you should make his drumstick hard againa nd suck it until he explodes for you
zoorebeler: *leans her forehead against his, gazing deeply into his eyes* and look.. I've never said 'I love you' to [Himeros]. or Edgelet in that sense. *kisses his lips softly, whispers* I love you, Larry Mullen
zoorebeler: [HOLY FUCKING SHIT I AM GOING TO *KILL* YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DEAD*]
Achtung Meggie: [heheheheheh}
Achtung Meggie: aaaaaawwwwwwwww! you both are so sweet!
Achtung Meggie: *hugs*
zoorebeler: [*IS DEAD* *smacks*]
zoorebeler: {I *was* sweet. now I'm just dead.]


Lesson? Never trust sexually-minded friends after you've told them about your own impossibly guuuuh day. They will, in fact, try to kill you. *giggles*
(Worst of it is? just now, I caught myself sucking on the drumsticks on my necklace.....)

 

You are Peace.

You are at peace with your self and the world
around you. You have balance in your life and
exude tranquility from every pore of your body.
People are constantly asking you "what is
your secret?"

What Emotion Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla



You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Water Goddess. You like peace and serenity and are
usually content with life.

What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

*has to laugh* Well, description, yes. And water's very nice, it's just that I'm not often swimming in it... *g*


But mmph. what a day..... *gheeeep*
Played a lot of DDR. Wrote a bit of the fic I've been working on for forever, and also a little of a new random fic I'm writing. And ended up talking to Himeros on aim. And inviting him over to play DDR for awhile. So he did, and we played DDR for a bit. And then, well.......yeastuffhi.
*little head spinning* *again*

*laughs* gooodness, what a summer this is becoming..... ^_~

 
And for anyone else out there with Stepmania (aka cheater/slackers/hackers like me w/o a PS to play DDR on), go to bemanistyle's site. Now. There are MAD FREAKING TONS of downloads there, of new songs. That people made. Like, randomly cos they ahve less of lives than even *I* do. *laughs* But yeah, dude... I *knew* there had to be an Ayumi ddr song someplace..and I found one. Got a bunch of FF songs..including Dark Messenger. which has PICTURES OF KUJA-KUUUUUN!!! *drools* Also found a mess of songs from .hack//SIGN, which's awesome cos I love the series, animation, and music.. (and one of the songs is called Edge. ^____^ ) Found a sweet OC remix of a Sonic-thing by McVaffe, who also did this remix of an FFVI song, which I absolutely adore.. Tank! from Cowboy Bebop <3.. and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song. *mad giggles*
Aaaaaaand.. (*dies giggling* ... ..sorry. choir-joke. *g*)
U2's "Stuck in a Moment".

Yes, I know. It's the most random/worst U2 song to pick for DDR...and there's only one level...and it's MAD SLOW...and the bg image SUCKS...
...
BUT IT'S U2!!!! AND DDR!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!

Now, if I can just find someone to talk into doing one for "Discotheque".....

 
MY ADAPTOR CAME TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
^_____________________^

So. having ganked Matt's DDR pad, and having downloaded every main ddr song ever for Stepmania..it's allllll fookin' good. ^_____^
And I *FINALLY* cleared "Look to the Sky" on level 5!! *laughs* sad, I know..I can get thru most 5s fine, but sometimes it takes a few tries still.. I'm deteremined to eventually rock, tho, so I'll keep practising. cos I CAN. scooooooore ^_____^

 
Just went outside for a minute... I'd heard leaves rustling outside my window, and turned off the fan to listen and see if it was raining (since I didn't get out in time last night to run through the two-minute downpour we had). No rain, but a crisp, almost cold for this time of year, very nice breeze. Opened the front door as quietly as I could, and stepped out onto the front porch, concrete beneath bare feet, breeze breathing on bare legs and arms.. It's the clearest night we've had in awhile, which meant it's darker as well since there aren't any cloud to reflect the lights from the city and all back down. When I lifted my head to look at the sky, I was nearly breathless, there were so many stars in the dark sky... and tonight, far more than before, I saw them all twinkling, shimmering brightly up there..... I mean, I've looked at them countless times before, and when focusing on a few I've seen one fading and brightening almost too quickly or subtley to notice unless you really looked... but tonight, each patch of stars twinkled to my eyes, and just... *smiles* I looked around the dim night, there are so many shades of black and tints to it, it's a very rich and warm black tonight..the pine trees bordering this side of Daf's front yard standing out against the paler rim of the sky, lit (presumably) by the city miles away, faintly reddish-gold and black, deepening as a watercolour wash into the dark shade of the rest of the sky...
Glancing behind me at the house, I realised what a bright, very eerie blue Rhonda's screen was glowing into the window... y'all know how much I adore computers, really, but..still, I shivered a bit, and turned back to the warm darkness of the night irl..
I walked out into the cool long grass, enjoying the feel of it beneath my feet and between my toes... (I only see my shoes when I'm mowing or going out someplace with people in the summer.) Gazing up at the sky, I slowly sat down, letting the grass and ground beneath me and the breeze around me float through me and carry out all the blocked-up heat and angst that had permeated me over the course of the night... (except for an in-bubble sojourn to Howth, 1971 with Megs' LilLar, via the Lemon..*blissful sigh*.....seriously, though, Megs..thank you so much...you did such an awesome job painting it all in around me, I.. *smiles* thank you. ..and Edgelet says thanks ever so for getting Clover to eat, he was a little worried about her.)
I didn't stay out for very long, but I didn't need to, really, writing all that out earlier had helped some, giving me something to actively think through and work out and resolve (instead of just fretting about other things), and just.. there's something about walking out into such a cool still beautiful night that can so quickly soothe me.. and I'm so scared that half this entry sounds cliched, cos I think some of it does..but I mean every word that I write here, the stars *did* shimmer over my head and the breeze *was* almost sharp and..yeah. Anyway, maybe it's because everything is so simplified, which adds to the whole simple purity feel.. you can only see the sillhouettes of things, their outline and the general shape of their mass..colours are blended into black and shades thereof, black and lighter black and then bright clear white..

 
meh, some weekend. fecking undulation downswings.. >_<

I'm trying to figure out why I take criticism so incredibly badly. Granted, in today's case, it's probably at least partly due to the fact that hormones are about due for their monthly trip into insanity but still.. this isn't the first time (by far) that a comment, criticism, anything, no matter how kindly intended, has *hurt*... *sighs* whether the thing is rational or not (and whether *I* think it's rational or not), it rips my heart in half and I curl up into a fragile little ball and cry.
I don't know.. if maybe it's because I try to be so independent, that so many things about me are things I've consciously decided to make that way, that I've chipped away at and tried to make my own and make how I think it should be.. when someone attacks something I wear, it's not like I just bought it at the wrong store or that fashion passed a month ago..what I wear is what I *want* to wear and what I like and what I think works well or..I don't even know. I'm an artist, that's not something that just stays on a sheet of paper or canvas. Not by a long shot. I try to design a blog that looks different and unique, and I get complaints that it's messy and cluttered (which, admitedly, it's grown to be a little..I still intend on neating the coding and all up around here, once I can steel myself up to another 5+ hour stint of html) and takes too long to load and I don't even know, just...
I don't know if it's because I feel I'm being misunderstood, that I'm not making myself understandable, or if it's because there's so much of *me* in most things in my life and my self.. I don't even know if this makes any sense at all to anyone...
Or maybe it's just a random fault, that I don't take criticism well, and that's all there is to it.....but I don't like that answer, it's far too easy, it's like taking a few pills cos you're sad.

*turns up volume on the Sigur Rós concert she's watching*
*closes eyes and is lost.....*

Or maybe it's just because I'm so ridiculously emotional about everything anyway... my heart will swell with love for the world and the One who created it because of the way the light falls on a brick wall... Sigur Rós' "Viðrar vel til Loftárása"..there just aren't words for what that song does to me, it clenches my heart so tightly and it..silly of an analogy as this is, it's like when you grip a water balloon tightly in one hand, and it starts swelling out past your fingers, and there's this impossible tension and when it can't hold out any more it bursts..only that song holds the tension and won't let my heart burst, just holds it there so tightly and.....

*laughs a bit* And I ramble off again. Maybe I just don't take criticism well because I don't ike being wrong..not only is it embarassing, mortifying, but in this case it makes you question..possibly everything. Cos if you were wrong about that, how do you know that you're not wrong about so many other things..about *everything* else.....

...

..that's it. That's what the reason is. *dry laugh* figures. in the end, it just comes back down to that terrible insecurity that hides away deep within me, and I don't think ever entirely leaves.....

 
Epicentre
VNV Nation

I asked myself "was I content"
with the world that I once cherished
Did it bring me to this darkened place
to contemplate my perfect future
I will not stand nor utter words against
this tide of hate
Losing sight of what and who I was again

I'm so sorry if these seething words I say
impress on you that I've become
the anathema of my soul

I can say that you're losing me
I always tried to keep myself tied to this world
but I know where this is leading
(please)
No tears
No sympathy

I can say that you're losing me
but I must be that which I am
Though I know where this could take me
No tears
No sympathy

Gracefully
Respectfully
Facing conflict deep inside myself
But here confined
Losing control of what I could not change

Gracefully
Respectfully
I ask you "please don't worry"
not for me
Don't turn your back
Don't turn away


every last one of their songs....... *has no words*

 
Beloved
VNV Nation

It's colder than before
The seasons took all they had come for
Now winter dances here
It seems so fitting don't you think?
To dress the ground in white and grey

It's so quiet I can hear
My thoughts touching every second
That I spent waiting for you
Circumstances affords me
No second chance to tell you
How much I've missed you

My beloved do you know
When the warm wind comes again
Another year will start to pass
And please don't ask me why I'm here
Something deeper brought me
Than a need to remember

We were once young and blessed with wings
No heights could keep us from their reach
No sacred place we did not soar
Still, greater things burned within us
I don't regret the choices that I've made
I know you feel the same

My beloved do you know
How many times I stared at clouds
Thinking that I saw you there
These are feelings that do not pass so easily
I can't forget what we claimed as ours

Moments lost though time remains
I am so proud of what we were
No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits
Grant me wings that I might fly
My restless soul is longing
No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits ...