PThe Nightingale and the Rose, Oscar Wilde
The Sorrows of Young Werther, Goethe
Way behind on all crochet.
It is NaNoNovember!
amaranth and jasmine
Amaranthus, continued (NaNoWriMo 2010)
Amaranthus (NaNoWriMo 2007)
Beneath the Dust (2005)
Mortal Angel (2005)
quid pro quo
life of a naturefreak
joe the circle
i can haz cheezburger
the hunger site
the ONE campaign
the quote lists:
(rest to come once I get them online again~)
the massive archives:
12/09/2001 - 12/16/2001
12/16/2001 - 12/23/2001
12/23/2001 - 12/30/2001
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10/19/2008 - 10/26/2008
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11/01/2009 - 11/08/2009
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11/15/2009 - 11/22/2009
11/22/2009 - 11/29/2009
11/29/2009 - 12/06/2009
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01/10/2010 - 01/17/2010
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02/21/2010 - 02/28/2010
02/28/2010 - 03/07/2010
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03/14/2010 - 03/21/2010
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04/04/2010 - 04/11/2010
04/11/2010 - 04/18/2010
04/18/2010 - 04/25/2010
04/25/2010 - 05/02/2010
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05/09/2010 - 05/16/2010
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05/23/2010 - 05/30/2010
07/04/2010 - 07/11/2010
07/11/2010 - 07/18/2010
08/08/2010 - 08/15/2010
11/07/2010 - 11/14/2010
11/14/2010 - 11/21/2010
11/21/2010 - 11/28/2010
11/28/2010 - 12/05/2010
01/09/2011 - 01/16/2011
01/30/2011 - 02/06/2011
That was fun...Teraa and I just went outside in the pouring rain...she was splashing through all the puddles like crazy...*contented sigh*...this is what summer is...it was funny, she's like, tearin' all around, I'm followin' behind, wading thru the puddles, taking care to roll up my jeans...felt *so* like the big sister...so nice...and fun.
And we're gonna sit and watch a few old disney movies, with some nice hot chocolate...be back later. *smile*
People born in JANUARY
Ambitious and serious (ehrm..sometimes?)
Loves to teach and be taught (*definitely*)
Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses (..sometimes..not that much, tho, I try to find the good in people..)
Likes to criticize (society, yes)
Hardworking and productive (ehrm..when not procrastinating, yes. *g*)
Smart, neat and organized (smart, yes, neat and organised?! *bursts out laughing*)
Sensitive and has deep thoughts (s'pose..)
Knows how to make others happy (..do I?)
Quiet unless excited or tensed (..well..coming off of my latest blurb here, yeah, maybe..)
Rather reserved (depends, not usually)
Highly attentive existent to illnesses but prone to colds (wait..does this make sense?!..but I don't get sick much, no..)
Romantic but has difficulties expressing love (..yeah...)
Loves children (yup! *smile* Gavin!!)
Homely person (...probably..)
Loyal (try to be, yeah..)
Needs to improve social abilities (hehe...yep! *G*)
Easily jealous (...actually...sometimes, yeah..)
...Blake was born in January, too...16 days after me. *g* ..and some work for him...he *does* want to be a teacher...he's smart..neat and organised - he *enjoys* cleaning his room! *gag*...and...he used to be a lot quieter than he is now...but he still is, I think...doesn't get sick much, either...as for most of the rest?..*sigh* don't know...
..but here I go again, spending so much thought on him.....
*going back to Jareth* ^_~
Ahhh...creating *nice* artwork in photoshop...listening to *good* music...walking outside after a drenching rain, bare feet in the cool, damp grass...watching sister playing with the turtle they just bought...walking back in to cook supper, beloved cat trotting along beside, wanting to be petted...reading thru a good story...*happy sigh*...*this* is summertime. *smile*
..and this made me laugh...yay for bmb! *smile* (..seeing cute li'l Harley go on a psycho-rampage is *definitely* amusing...*g*)
Wow...guys, we're *all* on the "up" at the moment! *smile* ...hurrah for summer! ^_^ ..tho it still doesn't feel like it, entirely...*so* nice getting to sleep in etc., tho...
...but then, I've got all that stupid nagging in the back of my mind...oughta clean my room, finish filling out papers for college...ok, fine, *start*!...
...I dunno, I was thinking about last night/this morning again...I had fun, I guess, but...no-one would've thought so, looking at me, I don't think. I just sat off to the side, occasionally drawing another random guy in my sketchbook (ok, so one wasn't entirely random, was inspired by the way Chris'd been standing for a minute, his outfit etc., tho it doesn't really look like him)...and I was just *absorbing* it all...like I always do...I was thinking, even way back, like, 3rd, 4th grade I was like this, I'd sit and watch Ashley play video games, not really caring to try them myself - partly cos I sucked, but I didn't care, I was perfectly content just to watch...and still now, they were playing truth-or-kiss, and I was watching...just watching...occasionally thinking "hey, that could be *me* there, making out with [*pretty hot guy*]..." But I wasn't...and..I dunno, even concerts and things, or thinking about being a rock star...I really could do a lot more to get myself there...but I don't...I just sit on the sidelines and watch...and maybe it's partly an after-affect of the times I've moved, cos that's what you do when you're in a place where you don't know anyone, you just sit and watch and listen, trying to figure out who you like, which ones are your kind of people...and I know I'll do this again when I get to college...but it's odd, I do this when I'm with Heather a lot, too, esp. when it's her and a bunch of the people she usually hangs out with - I mean, they're mostly my friends too, but I'm not really close with them at all, so I just fall silent and absorb...listening, enjoying, but not adding anything...and it's so strange, and I think about how they must see me so differently than, say, Daf and Laur see me...and I don't know which is more *me*, I think both are parts of me...tho it's who I am with Daf and Laur that's more me, I know, I just say whatever comes to mind, instead of just thinking it like I do with Heather & co...and in school that happens a lot too...maybe it's just anytime I'm with a group of people, I'm a lot more confident when things are one-on-one, I'll sit and chat with anybody, to varying degrees...and sometimes in a group I can still be myself, but mosy times I just keep to myself...even jazz band, I kinda did that, not so much cos there were people there I knew pretty well, Daf and Calypso and Karin etc...but so often, I just sit and draw, and listen, and absorb, but just sit on the sidelines...
...I dunno. I want to know *everything*, I like listening to different people, trying to understand who they are, what their worlds are...I like *learning* about people, the lives they live, their thoughts on life and everything, how they see the world...Daffy cares about the planet, I care about people...and both are necessary, we both care about both, but she puts more emphasis on the earth and I think people are more important...
...but this is why I want to learn different languages, they have different ways of saying things, different ways of looking at things...and the words have different *feels* to them, they're more colours for a literary palette...not that I can actually really write, once in awhile I get something great like "Until the End of the World", but I don't consistantly write well - look at this blog, as compared to Laur's...that's what I was trying to say when I praised your blurb on your pre-calc final, Laur, just that you can write about even the most seemingly-mundane thing, and make it interesting, and make the reader feel that the time spent reading it was definitely well-spent...
...Daf and Laur, we can *never* lose touch, you guys remind me of the other sides of myself that so easily slip my mind some days...Daffy, you remind me that the environment needs help too, you remind me of good music that'd otherwise pass me by (Coldplay, CSN&Y, etc.), and writing fantasy and Jareth and..I dunno, so many things..*creativity*, I suppose. Laur, you remind me about my spiritual side (and often lack thereof), I really don't pay it the attention that I should..and looking to you, I see that...and so many days I get caught up in my own world, and forget to send out the check to sponser our kids in Africa and India...and you remind me about writing, the joys of literary things, learning other languages (like Quenya! ^_^), reading, writing *well*... ...you guys help me keep my balance.....
...and I honestly don't know where I'm going here...it's summer vaca and I'm just sitting here letting my thoughts wander (while I'm listening to everything from ABBA's "Dancing Queen" to Dashboard Confessional to Creed to new David Bowie stuff...*smile*).....
...I think it'll be an interesting summer.
...shit...still got the smell of vodka on me a bit, I think, thanks to a certain person at the party I just came home from......mannnn....
Senior banquet was okay - outfit was *great* fun...'cept I think I *did* kinda weird Blake out, which made me kinda sad...the slideshow was really cool, I thought it'd be boring, but the pics and captions? ..fun stuff...there was *the* most adorable one of little-Blake in a box! ^_^
...only thing was, I felt so strange...everyone else'd known each other all their lives, y'know?...and I've never had that...not really, and not in the same way...so I did feel kind of left out, y'know?
...but we danced, it was fun...they played a few Bon Jovi songs, which made Christy happy ^_^...and dude, they played "Dancing Queen" (which is just a massively *fun* song, I've decided...granted, I'm prolly biased, cos I first heard it by U2 covering it on the PopMart tour..~_^), and it was so cool, Greg and Blake started dancing to it, then Dan joined 'em, an' it was just..*cute*! ^_^ ..they had this whole routine, must've learnt it in Singing Saints or summat cos the girls joined them later....but I just watched Blake the whole time..he *has* come a long way since junior high! *smile*
...and they evetually played one slow song, and I started walking over to the dance floor, cos Blake was alone...and then stupid Jamie G. dashed up to him....blah.....
...so Christy and I wandered upstairs, and looked down on them all from the balcony...and saw that Heather got to dance with Chris T.!!!! We were just like, *Awwwwwww---!!!!!!* ..it was *so* *cute*, it was great... ^_^
Afterwards, was the party at Karin's, and...*yeah*...*definitely* an educational evening for Ananda--! ...and after what I saw tonight...I am *never* gonna drink... ...it wasn't like, excessively bad (except for one person) really, but just...no. But it was good, only once did I have someone try to get me to drink, and even they didn't try that hard, and then there were a few of us who stayed entirely sober. Which was good. And Chris gave me a ride home early (well, prior to the party ending, anyway!), which's why I'm here *now*.
(...and Ananda coulda gotten a first kiss, but the first game played, it'd more likely have been from a girl, which just wouldn't've been cool, so I passed...and later on...he said he respected me more'n that, so... ... *shrug* ...b'sides, Blake wasn't there anyway, so...~_^ *laugh*..not that that would've changed a thing, really...)
But whatever.....am kinda tired, but I've got the Labyrinth dvd, I might watch some of that, then go to bed... ...gotta wash my hands, tho, I'd cleaned up some stuff that was spilled on the floor (seein's how no-one else seemed to notice it, and we had a few people who were having enough trouble standing up as it was!), my hand still smells a bit, sooo....
Laur, have I ever told you how much you amaze me? *Never* have I seen such a well-written account of going in to take a final exam. ^_^ ..yes, this is odd, but I'm still waking up, so humour me..~_^
...and, Dad just picked up the Labyrinth dvd from the library for me!
*And*, they finally added my U2 clothes onto U2's Boudoir!
*Happy*, happy day! ^_^
*AWESOME*!!!!!!!!!!! There's a video clip of the new U2 song, "Hands That Built America", up on u2.com!!!!!! It's *gorgeous*!!! GO WATCH IT. ^_^
..the guys're gorgeous, too...~_^....an' this's a *nice* *quality* *vid*, might be clip for a music video?...awesome... I'm a little sketchy on some of the loops and things in the song, but this *is* just a clip...and I trust them, I really do...the song's most likely still in the works, anyway...and I've a hunch that somewhere here, it kicks in strong...and the title sounds kinda cheesy, maybe, but I trust them.."Peace on Earth" would sound like a cheesy title, coming from anyone else..same with "Beautiful Day"...but the songs are awesome, this's U2, so it'll be good. ^_^
...can't wait!!!! ..there's rumoured to be a new U2 album soon, possibly by Christmas time...can't wait...(also can't believe that it *has* been nearly two years since ATYCLB...crazy...)..new album, which'll mean new tour ^_^...gahhhh....awesome...
Hurrah for summer vaca! ^_^ (...tho it still doesn't feel like it quite yet...)
Stayed up watching anime all night, printed out an early version of the Labyrinth script (from this site), read that 'til I started falling asleep (while listening to lovely Jareth's songs ^_^), and then... I don't remember what all happened in my dreams, but I *do* know at least some were in anime. ^_^ So *that* was interesting, never had that happen before...don't even know if Teraa has, tho I think she's dreamed in video-game...~_^
...don't get the wrong impression, please...it's not just Blake [*how* many times have I had to go back and correct that and use his code name?!..he's not Blake in my thoughts...] who's on my mind...it's just...leaving Daf and Laur and Heather is going to be so much harder...I don't want to deal with that yet...it's starting to lurk in the back of my brain, tho...slowly creeping up to the front, no matter how many times I kick it back.....
...I'm wondering why it's been awhile since I've listened to U2 again...I dunno, it'd been a couple of weeks (which's a rather long time for me to be away from them), mostly cos I was hung-up in glam, cos of my english project, and then picked up on J-rock again, found some new and cool bands (like Dir en Grey, L'Arc en Ceil, etc.)...and then Daffy and I went Labyrinth again...and db's new album came out...and I didn't skip far enough in my cd last night, and ended up on U2 instead of Labyrinth music...and I was like, yeah, this sounds good for right now. ^_^ ...so, listened to some...fell asleep to October again, something I hadn't done in awhile...woke up this morning, and...I dunno. I didn't want to leave high school with like, weird stuff, y'know, Sigur Rós or summat, which I love, but it's not...U2 *is* me. ...so this morning I was listening to some random soundchecks I d/n'd forever ago...the songs I was listening to that got me psyched up to talk to Blake last summer...the song with the awesome bassline that I taught Daffy (which we were singing on the bus this morning...my God...Daffy, we'll never ride the bus together again like that... ... ...)...got to school, and Dan played "School's Out", I walked off down the hall, singing...that song is just..*AWESOME*. ^_^ ...decided that, for the duration of that, anyway, I'd just be happy about the upcoming summer vaca. ^_^ ...too lazy to write about the day in general..tho what a way to end it--! ..check Daffy's blog, she went thru it some..
But yeah. And didn't really have much in my head 'til the end of the day, 'til I missed Blake...
...I was *so* upset about that, I really was...I wanted...I just wanted to be with him, that last bit, y'know?..just walk about the school some, we were gonna go see Mrs.
Oldfield one last time (we all love her so much, she was/is *the* sweetest teacher ever!..and she gave us "Starmaker"..) together... and I checked his locker, he wasn't in sight, I dropped off a textbook in the science office for B (and left him a short note), checked back..and the halls were almost entirely empty, he wasn't there...and I was so sad...spent *twenty minutes* looking for him, walking the halls, asking everyone if they'd seen him...no-one had...and I just started thinking, praying he hadn't forgotten about it...and the line from a Simple Minds song popped into my head: "Don't you forget about me"...and stayed there...so finally, decided to go down to the jr. high, he'd said to meet him by his "old locker", I'd assumed he meant the one in the hs, but maybe he'd meant jr. high? So I wandered around down there for awhile, then just went to Mrs. Oldfield's room...and asked her if he'd been there at all, and she said he'd just left.
...so...I just stayed there, and talked with Mrs. Oldfield for awhile...and it was nice, we just talked about all kinds of stuff...how it'd been going this year for me, how it'd been going for her...what my plans were, what other seniors' plans were...talked about Blake a few times, she asked if we ever were officially a couple..I said no..she said she'd never been quite sure, sometimes it looked like it, but then other times, she wasn't sure...I said no, no..sometimes I'd *wished* it were so, but no.....
...(I still wish it'd been so...)..
So, I had no ride home. Called my grandparents, they picked me up...but on my way back to the high school...I walked slowly, looking around me...and it occured to me...it could be the last time...sang under my breath, to the place I've been for what seems so long, to the place I feel I belong (most days): "Don't you forget about me".....and when I went out to their car, I looked back at the band room, walking slowly..and I really *did* nearly start to cry then, seeing the destruction of the room I've lived in and loved so much these past few years... ...and...I'll never have that place again...never see those walls, the big windows with the ugly blinds that never worked, the door the trombones always opened, and I always ran back to close, my cushy chairs, our senior wall-panels, the tiny practise rooms, the "forbidden" council room (tho I was allowed in, thanks to Blake ~_^)...all of it...is gone forever......
...so, anyway, got home, tried to call Blake, his line was busy, called Daffy, chatted a bit, she came over...asked Teraa, who was on the cpu, to see if Blake was online. He was.
Teraa immediately claimed to be Vincent Valentine, and declared that (s?)he'd killed someone Blake knew. *laughing* It was hysterical, Blake was all confused...esp. when she threw in a line of latin (from FF7), that was *great*...but she'd gotten onto one of my s/n's for a sec to tell him to accept the messages from her...after a few minutes, the phone rang - Blake. ^_^ .."I called to see if you got home okay, I couldn't find you.." (...so sweet....*g*).. "Blake, where WERE you?! I couldn't find you anywhere, I kept looking.." I cried, I really *had* been rather upset...he left me...and I'd really been looking forward to this, I'd passed up going out to get ice cream with Heather and a bunch of other people, to just hang out with him for a bit..and..I had my daydreams, too... And he'd said he'd looked for me, but couldn't find me...relating stories, we *just* missed each other, I think we were circling around the hallways, just out of sight of each other.....
...does *NOTHING* ever work out right for me?!?!?! ..as it was, last day of school, and I left all my hw that was due at home..my grandparents were about, thankfully, and picked it up for me, but still...
...eventually, Blake asked if I knew...he couldn't say the name, I just laughed. "Is it *you*?" "No, no, it's my sister!"...and Teraa was ready to kill me cos I spoiled her fun, but ah well...actually, she kept pesterin' him for awhile after that, it was amusing (and I was reading all of it, so...~_^)
...I told him that I think he owes me now..."But I *tried* to find you, I really did, I kept walking around.." "I tried for *twenty minutes*." "Honest, I looked.." "You still owe me, I think." "I'm really sorry.." "... ...okay, apology accepted." "Okay." "..but still..."
..why I kept harping on it, I really don't know..except that..it really *had* upset me.....
But I hadn't meant this to be so long-winded!
...I'm wondering if the reason that I haven't been listening to U2 is because it *is* so much me, and it makes me *think*...and that's something I think I'm avoiding right now.....so very easy to get lost in the world of glam, of anime, new music, all that...but U2..*is* my world, *is* me, I have so many memories tied to those songs, so many thoughts, there's so much emotion in every song...and.....
I was meant to be a member of Dir en Grey! I'm just Goth enough to be cool, but still easygoing enough to be popular.
Take the "Which J-Rock Band Should You Be a Member Of?" quiz by malloreigh
..and, on re-taking it, was part of L'Arc en Ceil....dude, this's so *fun* --- I *know* (and <3 *g*) all these bands! ^_^
...gahhh...so...today was my last day of high school.
...but I think I'm avoiding thinking about it just yet...am too tired to deal with it all anyway...*definitely* in a veg-out mood tonight...been watching anime, playing in photoshop, listening to Jareth, some J-rock, Dashboard Confessional, anime music, etc...
Yay for not having to go in for any finals! ^_^
..so, now that I've (somewhat) broken my self-imposed exile from aim again...
I've re-discovered just how much I loathe aol smileys. And things like "lol".
I don't know.
They just...*bother* me.
..so....*did* finally talk to Blake today...thanks so much guys, for putting up with me..*sigh*..I really *hate* the way I get sometimes.....
But yeah. ...*allll* thru band, Calypso talked to me about it, tried to get me to go talk to him...*sigh*..thank you..I'm just...gahh...*stupid* sometimes...esp. when it comes to things like this.....tho...*shrug*, I dunno, I think it *is* a different situation for us...but then, I s'pose *every* situation is different, so....
In any case, I *did* try to talk to him in gym...I sat next to him, we weren't doing anything today, it being the last day(!), so...we just chatted about some stuff...the year ending....."Calypso-K" being a pain (she's going to the same college as Blake..poor, poor him--!)...etc...and I asked if he was going to stay after a bit tomorrow (our last day of high school.....), he said yeah, he wasn't gonna be able to walk out those doors...I said yeah, me neither.."Would you mind if I stayed after with you?".."Sure, whatever.."...but..something in the way he said it...I dunno...bothered me..."I don't have to drive Dan home anyways.." "Wow, that's a first.."...
And I was close to saying something about the note..but..then he went over and talked to the choir elite.
And I was *so* pissed at myself...
...so, class ended, he came over to tell me somethin' as we headed for the door, I asked if he was staying around for his early dismissal today, he said no, they [him & choir elite] were going to China King (as they often do..). ...so...instead of going right to the auditorium (the band room's gone...which really hurts.....), I walked down the hall with him...
"So, I have to ask you...did you get that note?"
"Yeah, I did...it fell out when I got the yearbook back, you were still there, I tried not to notice it right then..."
"Yeah, I saw that..I just took off, I don't know, so stupid..."
"You're not like [Calypso-K] at all."
*looking up hopefully* "Really?"
"..cos I'm so afraid that I am, a lot..."
"...You're one of my best friends. One of my two..no, three best friends."
...and it *is*. I...I didn't know what I wanted the outcome to be here..ok, so I did, but that was daydream, I didn't expect it to come true (tho deep down I *did* kinda hope for it..but..)...but this is okay.
..and it's so *dumb*, this is *exactly* what happened last year, too...and it's *so* *stupid*, *why* do I keep doing this??.....I don't know...I really don't, I just...*sigh*...I care about him *so* *much*, I don't want to make him uncomfortable in any way, I see how he suffers (err, I guess that's the word?) with Calypso-K, and I *don't* want to do that. At all. I *hate* seeing that happen to him.....
..but, that's resolved (err, sorta, at least) now.....not ideal, but not bad at all, either. *smile*
...and I'll treasure that dance forever...
Now, all we need do, is fix things between Laur and Bryan. ~_^ (As Daffy pointed out, *how* we can manage this within a day, I don't know, but---!)
...you *sure* you can't write him some sorta note, Laur?...you honestly, really truly *are* so much better with words than I am...and I know you're different people, and it's a different situation, and all, but...I still think that, if you can't *say* anything, you could at least write it, Laur...seriously. ...you don't want him to leave, and not know what he's meant to you, do you?.....I know I wouldn't...Laur, why've I basically put myself thru Hell, several times, with Blake? ...I asked Daffy this earlier, she didn't answer me.....but...it's just that I want him to know that I care. Cos I do. So very very much, and I couldn't even give you entirely coherent and logical reason why, esp. now, but...I wanted him to know. ...dumb as Miaka (from Fushigi Yûgi) may be some times, she did have *one* point: "It's always nice to know that someone loves you.".....
Hurrah! A quiz that *doesn't* try to center itself! ^_^
So yeah. Got the new db album today. ^_^ ..talked Mom into helping me buy the special ltd. ed., which's got an extra cd with it, remixes by Moby and Air, an old unreleased track, and a different version of "Panic In Detriot", which's pretty cool...<3 that song!
But yeah. Album's pretty good, haven't listened to it especially closely yet...it *is* along the same lines as Hours, but more rock. ...I'm annoyed, tho, only some partial lyrics---!...gahhhh....
..when I'm a rock star, make *sure* I never do that...well, unless I've got some semi-legit artistic reason, anyway. ~_^
..but it's soundin' pretty good...
..an' one of the songs is entitled "Cactus". ^_^
...got the note to Blake today.
..am waiting about on AIM, to see if he comes on...tho I've no idea what I'm going to say.....
But yeah. Daffy signed his yearbook, I watched while she wrote...she wote some stuff on the evils of grey and the good-ness of tye-dye, then...said she had somethin' to say, if she didn't it'd just bug her...don't know it exact, but along the lines of: 'You and Ananda have always had this connection...you guys started school together, then she moved to Perry, then you were together again, so you should *end* school together..' ..Daffy, I love you, *thank* you!!! ^_^ ...and we slipped the note in, an' I took off...got partway down the hall, looked back for Daffy and Daffy's-other-half (and saw Blake, and he was looking kinda blankly ahead..which, I mean, he *does* sometimes, so do we all, but..was kinda lookin' towards me), and I got all..I dunno, flustered? frustrated? I dunno what to call it....but Iw as just like, BLAH, I feel like I'm in junior high again, this's so STUPID!...and Daffy and Calypso kept tellin' me no, no, you're fine, it'll be okay, it was *good* that you did this, etc....thank you, guys.....but..*sigh*.
Talked it over with Heather, and she...I dunno. Understands, kinda, but just reminds me of all the things I told her about *her* Kevin, back in sophomore year..but...I don't think it's the same. I really, really don't.....I didn't think I believed in fate but in this, maybe I do, y'know..?....I dunno...it's....
I don't know.
I *do* know that I'll see him tomorrow...
*squee!* David Bowie!!!!! ^_^
...he just did "Slow Burn", off Heathen, which comes out tomorrow...very cool.....hey Mo-o-om??? ~_^
*Good* stuff, tho...kinda similar to Hours, but a bit more rock, I think. Which's good.
...it was great, Letterman was talking to him, they had an lp of the album sitting there, Letterman's like, "So, why do people still buy these?" "I don't know, I think they're crazy! *giant adorable grin*"...and then...: "I download everything off the internet, myself.."
Approximately a minute prior to this, I'd run a search on Grokster, and had started downloading "Slow Burn" and a few other tracks off the album.
...I *really* like this guy... ~_^
..said he's touring with Moby cos "I've got a very thick head of hair..and he's bald as an egg." *mad giggle*..he's right, tho...gahhhhh.... <3.
..it's so very odd...I'm sitting there, huddled up to the tv, partly cos I wanted to, partly cos of necessity - the antenna wasn't working again, *darn* good thing I turned on the tv about fifteen minutes before Letterman even *started*, cos the channel wouldn't come in..ended up having to pull out the one cord, hold the end of it up in the air, partly wrapped around the antenna, with my finger on the metal prong at the end of it. *Only* way to get it to come in half-way decent. So I'm sitting there, my face not a foot away from the screen, all excited, waiting...and he comes on, an' there's just this giant grin on my face, *all* of my attention is focused *there*.
...and I felt...I dunno...a connection with the past, maybe?..or just...I dunno...after all these years, he's still got fans like *me*, teenagers who'll get all excieted like that, and totally in love with what he does. ^_^
...kinda relates back, too, to the other day, I was walkin' thru the junior high in all my glam-ish garb, before and after doin' my english presentation..and all these kids were *staring* at me..some a little scared, some prolly laughin'...an'...I just felt so *outside* it all, but...I felt like I was one of the originals, one of the first glam outcasts, y'know?..just.....I dunno, it was weird. But very, very cool, somehow...
My God. *Fuck* these people, I *HATE* this!!!!!!!!! ...thought I'd downloaded "Slow Burn"?! No!!! Not even Bowie, some random American screaming "fuck you"---!!!!! ...man...it...just....GAH!!!!!....*HATE* that!
Oh, bloody hell...it *is* late, an' I've got two finals tomorrow! Woo! ...cor....wish me luck--!
(But it's all worth it, to've watched Bowie. ~_^)
Yeah... so, I've got my only two final exams tomorrow - music history and economics...neither of which I'm *too* worried about.
I am very, very sunburnt. I still haven't got full arm-movement back.
David Bowie's on Letterman tonight. ^_^
Am very, very tired.
Was *gonna* study some...but...
Got home, had dinner to make early - Matantis was going in to court (for that loitering charge he & co. got for riding about SUNY Brockport at 11pm one night).
Checked e-mail. Meg sent me a letter...full of a *wonderful* baby-U2-dream she had...I was Larry's g/f!!!!!!! ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ (...<3 little-U2!...and Adam heard her confess she liked him, tho she'd thought, in the dream, that Adam and Lar were seein' each other...meanwhile, Bono and Edge were together on the couch, Bono was playing with Edge's hair..Megs *claims* it was in friendly, Bono-and-Edge fashion, but ah...^_^;...riiight...~_^...but gahhhh...sounds like *the* best dream! ^_^)
Sewed up pants for Matantis. (Note to self: teach Teraa how to sew before I leave - *someone* in this house has gotta know what they're doin'--!)
Generally cleaned up a bit.
Teraa wiped out on rollerblades, *yet* again, got her some ice, etc.
On cpu. ^_^
Matantis and Dad return home, Matantis has to go in *again*, before a D.A. this time...Matantis is not pleased. Matantis woulda much rather just pleaded guilty, paid the fine, and been done with it. But, it was recommended that he and Brian, being younger than their fellow bikers-in-trouble, talk it over with a D.A. Thus, Dad decides this is what Matantis should do.
Fun evening, eh? ...see why I haven't been studying? ~_^ ...am off to go check up on everyone else's blogs, BMB, MegaTokyo...
Hehe. ...I'm still workin' my way thru the megatokyo archives...this one *totally* reminds me of Matantis! ~_^
...hurrah for Daffy goin' on a quizzing-streak....?...@_o
Be cool! Take the What Do You Want Out Of Life? Quiz
...I *hate* it when people make these things tables---! *Sooooo* DUMB. It really is. All y'need is one little image, not a whole frickin' table, all this crap complicated code for me to wade thru so I can make yer blasted table fit nicely onto my page---!
Click Here To Find Out Which Symbol You Are
I am truly passionate.
Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.
...this one was actually kinda right...Daffy'd gotten "artistic", an' I was annoyed I didn't..but..then I read thru their further description, an'..it's kinda right, oddly enough....hrm.
The Vague But Nice Quiz by blusteryvirgin
...yay for angels.. ^_^ ...tho I wouldn't quite say I'm "sweet, shy and serene"---! ~_^ ...well, ok, sometimes I am, but...not nearly *all* the time. ~_^
..but I s'pose it'd be handy if I got some sleep, so I could possibly be at least *semi* coherent while teaching in calc tomorrow... -_-;;;
...and gotta go burn another Sigur Rós cd, so... g'nite, all! ^_^
*squeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!* Christy, IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou!!!!!!!!! ...she pointed me to this page - TONS of Bowie on tv!!!!!!!! ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ...he's gonna be on Letterman tomorrow night!!!!!!! Woooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^
...ehrm...wow...didn't realise I was *quite* that much in love with db...hrm...intreresting. ~_^
...meanwhile, elsewhere on that site, VH1's All Access has a thing on unusual pairings in music, inc. U2 with Sinatra and BB King..and db with Bing Crosby - which I just found the mp3 for the other day! ..it's "Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth(?)", sooo pretty! ..and I'd been wondering about the story behind that..!
'What kind of Wing are you?' by. Xera
*smile*...I love angel-wings...so pretty.....
...so, was actually on AIM for a bit...cos I knew I'd get to talk to Blake. Which I did. ~_^ ..sad, yes, but...we used to talk *all* the time...and while I *do* typically hate aim...it's a chance to talk to him again some more, so...
him: AHH! This is the last week of high school ever... Im not going to handle this well!!
me: ... ...I know....me neither...*sigh*...actually, heather I and were talking about it today...it's like, you spend thirteen whole years, waiting for this...and now...we don't want it...
him: lol .. I know.. Ive been dreading this week all year
me: y'know..I hadn't, for most of the year...but these past few weeks...really, since the band concert, esp., I think...Daf and I realised...I'm gonna be leaving.....
him: Yeah ... this is really it
him: So Im trying to make the flyer for my grad party now.. I need to get those out
me: ..yeah...I...still don't know if I'm gonna have one or not..*shrug*...'nother one of those things I've been avoiding...*wry grin*
him: lol yeah.. and senior pics... ? :-)
me: ...ehrm....*yeah*.... -_-; ...that's another thing...
him: lol :-)
Hehe...this was just cool:
me: ...I don't know...I think...maybe it's just things that involve like, *planning*, and talking to people, that I like to avopid doing...*shrug*..I've never liked having to talk to people...heck, I don't think I've *ever* even ordered a frickin' *pizza*--we always make Kellie do it. ^_^
him: LOL! Ive definately never ordered a pizza :-)
me: ...good, that's means I'm not the *only* one, anyway--! ^_^
...see? There *are* so many ways we're alike...ok, yes, this seems a very small thing, but you know what I mean...it's...at first glance, we seem such opposites, the way we dress, the things we say...but...our personalities are so much the same...we're both stubborn, both quite sarcastic, have the same (or, at least, close to the same) sense of humour (I remember being over at, uh, "Zerubabbel"'s house (*G*), we were all watched MADtv or summat..and they were all cracking up at it, and Blake and I just sat there, bewildered..we didn't think it at *all* funny...but the things he says, he just makes me laugh some days...)...
...gahhhh....basta...enough...learnt fractals (at least sorta), I'm goin' to bed..err, maybe..soon..?...~_^
Wow...sorry...had *not* planned on getting into all of that---!
..but yeah. Yay for me having corrupted Daffy!!!!! ^~~^ ...hehe...*sing-song* You like Jar-eth's pa-ants, you like Jar-eth's pa-ants! *evil, evil grin* ~_^
...yeah, Daf, I've gotten the same way as you were the other day, tho...just..*watching*, feeling so detatched from everything going on around you.....it's a very weird state to be in...but somehow, you don't mind being outside, you just watch, and absorb... ... ...hey...like *Adam*! ^_^ *Adam* does that!..or, at least, *did*...*GRIN*...*that's* cool...
which beatles song are you?
this quiz was made by janel
^_^ ...tha's cool...
Which Peanuts Character Are You Quiz
..kinda odd...I never really had a whole lot of use for Peanuts...but after being in the orchestra for You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown in school, I've had a much higher tolerance for it...think it was just, y'know, being in the show and all... ... ...or, y'know, coulda been Andrew Myers...~_^ to Laur. Cos that's the thing, we always have and always will gripe about the special treatment he got, and use the term "an Andrew Myers" for anyone who like, seems to over-excel at *everything*...but...he *was*/*is* good, exceptional, even...and watching him onstage...I don't know, you *do* kinda fall in love with him, he's awesome...
...carp. I'm supposed to be learning fractals...Jeff and I've gotta teach them to the class..ehrm...*tomorrow*!!!! -_-;;;
(Hurrah for procrastination and senioritis! ^_^)
Wow...*mega* update, Daffy---! ~_^ ...*sigh*. Yes. Am jealous...but..I dunno...I think...getting into a relationship at this point would be so weird for me, at least at first, cos all I've ever done all these years is daydream.....I have to keep reminding myself that what happened at the choral banquet *was* real, y'know?.....cos...it *seems* almost like it was just another daydream, now.....but...I don't want it to be...on the way back from the picnic at B's, Heather and I were talking...about how...I dunno, it's just, you spent thirteen years of your life waiting for this time to come, graduation, finally getting out of high school...but now that it's here...we don't want it. We'd give anything for just one more year.....'course, if we *had* one more year, things wouldn't be where they are now...I would never've danced with Blake, if I knew I had another year...see, an' that's just it, there's *so* many things I wished had worked out differently between me and Blake, so many things I wish I'd done differently...why the hell didn't I take the chance I had, back in junior high?!...we really *were* inseperable, so close...and yet...we were both too fucking shy...damnit...I wish.....it's been so different, I don't know how or why he hangs out with the choir elite like that...I can't understand it at all.....and.....I wish it was the way it used to be, just us...and I felt like I was the only one who really knew him, who knew how sweet he was...so...it seemed I had a chance, y'know?...and then, of course, Betsy popped up, and *that* made for a bit of a mess for me...*laugh* I never *did* meet her!...*half-grin*.....but...now.....I miss him, so much, I miss him already and we're not even gone yet....damnit, what was it, maybe a *month* ago, I'd decided it didn't matter, he'd asked someone else to the prom, it didn't matter, I was free and on my own, and... ...and now, here I am again, back where I've always been.....but...at the choral banquet, dancing, I kissed him and he held me so tight...it felt so *right*, it really did...and all my old thoughts have come back...he *is* the only one I can remember from preschool, we were such great friends then, I moved, then came back years later..and we were such great friends again....like he said, we became friends twice, so maybe we were *really* meant to be friends...or something more, I've always thought/hoped/dreamed.....I don't even know, I don't get it, we're so different..but we're not..."we're one, but we're not the same" (U2)...we've such different interests, tastes, and yet...we could never argue or really get mad at each other, I don't think...it's like...I don't know...the details are different, but the core is the same.....and I'm gonna miss him so much...I don't want to lose him, I don't.....
...but then...I wonder...am I holding on for no reason?...but there *must* be *some* sort of reason...right?