***stardust

10.14.2004

EEEEEEE but it WORKS now!
^________________^

Well, rather, *one* of the colour options (which's in like the middle of everything) works. But it works in full! Had to stick a button in there but that's ok, made things a hell of a lot easier to deal with, anyway.

So, now comes the ridiculously time-consuming task of sticking this new bit of animation into all the other colour options I've done so far, then readjusting the numbers in eeeevery bit of action script I have.

And then actually *doing* the second half of the colour schemes, which includes drawing the clothes for said colours.
...which I had *thought* would take the longest to do in all of this, but uh... no. actionscripting and making things fecking *work* took the longest. Cos artistic as I may be, the technicalities always, ALWAYS, are what defeat me. bah.

*Ananda Daydream * 5:46 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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Oh, the joys of living in the media arts lab... and I'm only halfway through my first semester even being *allowed* in here, and already I'm sitting here debating how late I should stay tonight...
x_x

On the bright side, after a good couple of hours of frustration, I finally got Edge's outfit to go back to the right colour! (Granted I cheated and just covered up the other colour, but, y'know. *giggles, shrugs* It works, that's what counts, yeah?)

Dead fecking tired. Cannot wait for next Tuesday, I *think* the stress will be gone then.
I hope.

..oh blah, I forgot, after dinnertime I have to take the bus alllll the way around town to get back home. It'd probably be faster walking, but it's cold and I really don't think I could deal today. But I can talk to ~~Bono~~ omfg BONO ARG BOB the busdriver and it'll be good.
good lord my fingers won't let me type anything but B's name, that's ridiculous. *giggles* I was honestly thinking Bob, both times, and my fingers just went to Bono. That's just funny. And really sad.

..lessee...will probably take..I'm thinking the 7.40 bus back, so I should be-- oh. omfg I *AM* tired, I can't even read a fecking bus schedule straight, I *won't* be going all the way arond town.. so I'll be back at like, 7.50, unless I get caught up in work or fall asleep or something, in which case it'll be like 8.30.

*Ananda Daydream * 4:55 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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And just one more thing I need to get off my chest.
This cat-situation has gotten entirely out of hand.

Meghan's having some real misgivings about getting a cat of our own, as am I - I have been, but I knew the reaction I'd get if I said anything so I didn't until now, so I was trying to rationalise my fears away.. hell, I did it on here, even, cos I was scared of all of you fixating on the same thing I was.

That really *is* violating the lease, and he'd have every right to kick us out. I really don't believe he would, and the chance---

O_O! EEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! MACKIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

*___________________________________*

gheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee omg he's singing "Desire" and I am about to pass out. I can't even see him and I'm getting all squirmy, gooooodnessssss.

I wasn't positive if he'd be in this show or not, I was trying not to get my hopes up just in case, but---
oh gheeeeeeee. I can't even--- mmmmmph.

what I would give.......

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

^_________^! there were..what, eight shows at Wembley, I think? it's a set of six or eight bootlegs, anyway.. and Mackie's in all of--- EEEEEE!!! This is the Salman Rushdie show!!!!! *bounces*

But that's good cos that means I can concentrate for a minute cos I could recite this bit in my sleep. *giggles* hee. <3

But as I was saying..
Even if the chances of Norm actually dropping by and actually seeing the cat are like, insanely close to nothing.. he still *could*, or, really, what worries me more, is someone else slipping. Indoor cat though it may be, cats sit in windows, people drop by, there are endless possibilities. And y'all know me, you know that, paranoid though I may be at times, in most situations I just sort of hope for the best, and damn common sense.
But this comes down to actual legality, and y'know what? I don't want to get in trouble, I *really* don't.

Meghan and I agree on this, I don't know Justin's opinion, but Britt is *dead* set on getting a cat. And if we shut her down on this, she is going to be *pissed*, and I mean *pissed*.
And maybe Meghan can laugh things off with Britt, but I can't, I cannot take her being pissed off at me, cos she's brutal when she is. And I'm not trying to berate her, cos I know full well I can be just as bad, hell I know I've been - and to her, at that.. But Britt will not hear arguments from another side once her mind's made up, this's why I'm glad she didn't watch the debates with me tonight, I'm trying so hard to look at things fairly, though on one side I've got all I grew up with and some close friends, and on the other I've got those I have an incredible respect for and trust in, and other close friends, and my dearest friend..
And I realise I'm digressing, but I'm just going to say right now that I will *not* make public who I vote for. I'm just not, I have every right not to, and I'm *not* going to get into that mess with people. (Britt told me the other night she'll be mad at me if I don't, but y'know what? I'm not telling her. A secret ballot is a fucking secret ballot, whatever her opinion on it.)
*sighs* I just.. I wish I could be a neutral party in this and settle things out, but I don't think anyone's going to see me as one, even though I can be, peacemaking and seeing both sides is all I've been trying to do for years now.. I'm going to have a fucking minor in philosophy, if anything's a testament to being able to see all angles on a thing, that is..

Like I need all this right now. As is, it's only just this week that I'm feeling more comfortable around here again, the past two weeks I felt.. shunned, I suppose. And I know a lot of it's my own doing, and I'm sure some of it was me worrying things over until they grew far larger in my mind than they were in reality, but still.

If we don't get that cat, Britt (and possibly Justin)'s going to plung the house into that all over again.

...but I'm the one who sat here watching Britt and Meghan going absolutely *hysterical* with the visiting cat a week ago, so, so scared of someone finding out...to the point where we've not let him inside since, though he's sat on the porch waiting. There's a gap in logic here, we weren't doing a thing to keep the cat in, he just walked in, we didn't feed him, he stayed a bit, the same as any cat would linger in someone's back yard, the end. The worst that could happen already did, the owner got grumpy and told us not to feed him. (And technically, never said to not let him inside, though I know that's getting picky.)
Having a cat of our own and keeping it here is a breaking a legal fucking document.

*sighs*

..so much for logic...and now, back to the philosophy paper.....

*Ananda Daydream * 12:43 AM * (0) stars grow bright *

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I...

..need to stop posting about this gig and try to get philosophy through my head. *laughs gently, shakes head*

But that's *the* most scathing version of "Bullet" I think I've ever heard, from Bono especially... and I suppose the almost brittle crispness of this recording (the most absolutely *crystal* clear, goodness) helps a bit, but... phewph. *tries to sink back down into "Running to Stand Still"*

I need to fecking collapse.. I am so close to jsut blowing off this paper, none of this is sinking in at allll... and on top of that, Reliabilism is such a damned complex little theory of knowledge, it twists itself around in so many ways, trying to close up all the gaps... which all the theories do, cos none of them is anywhere near faultless..... which's why, intriguing as philosophy is, and great a mental excerise as it can be, and as many interesting angles on things as it gives me.. I know right now I'll never find real answers in it.

...

That a bad thing to be saying about your intended minor?

*Ananda Daydream * 12:15 AM * (0) stars grow bright *

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uhm.
with the possible exception of the middle of "Bullet".
good loooooord.....

*Ananda Daydream * 12:11 AM * (0) stars grow bright *

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Bono was right when he said that the true musical power and strength in the band's live performances is from the drumkit. The guitar is what grabs everyone's attention, but the energy, the imperative, the drive, are all from the drums...

*Ananda Daydream * 12:08 AM * (0) stars grow bright *

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10.13.2004

O_______O
omg...

This has the infamous Sarajevo boardcasts on it.. when U2 hooked up, via satellite, with war-torn Sarajevo, in the middle of their concerts, in midst of this overwhelming huge tour, full of lights and sound and senses overwhelmed.. and senses are again overwhelmed, but in such a completely different direction..
Even Bono admitted how uncomfortable it felt, I can't even imagine..
"What do you really do for us? I think nothing..." And she's lashing out..
And Bono apologizes, so faintly, so wounded, at a complete loss...

And what can they do but go into the next song? ..it's "Bad", so if anything can help, that will (when you all get to hear that song live.....), but...

unimaginable.

(and what's still worse, is that it wasn't until a few years later that the world at large even went in to really try to resolve things there...and there are places it's no better now... it was so uncomfortable because everyone was confronted, right there, with everything that could be - and wasn't being - done... and all those letters and calls to senators, and all those marches unattended because of a headache.....
...it seers me *now*, sitting here eleven years later.)

*Ananda Daydream * 11:59 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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never underestimate the power of a song...

*all the pain melting away, if only for a moment..*

"Stay". Live, Wembley Stadium, August 11, 1993... the first time, so far as I know, that it was played live.
And..
It's so beautiful, it just...

Were these files not in .shn format, I'd pass them around, even so I might, all you need's a tiny patch to winamp to play them..

But they let Lar and Ad play the song as well, soon after this they brought it down to just Bono and Edge, guitar and voices.. and that's all the song needs, it carries so much on its own.. but, to hear it live, with drums kicking in at the chorus like that.....

...this next tour is going to be unimaginable, I'm going to be in a constant state of..just..there are no words for it, it's so far beyond words, beyond anything in this world, the place these concerts take you.....

*Ananda Daydream * 11:52 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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I...
am tired.

And I mean that more fully and thoroughly than I have in probably a good couple of years. I'm fecking exhausted right now, I have a cold and I still have a shitload of work that needs done..

And then of course there are all of the general life stresses, which I'm currently trying not to think about and are probably what's subconsciously oppressing me right now, the fact that I'm a junior and I still don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do once I'm out of here, haven't got a job, don't know who I'm voting for (don't even have the damn paperwork back yet..though I s'pose that'll make my life a hell of a lot easier, I'll have an excuse to not have to decide :p ), know full well I'm an unapproachable little hermit out here, know I don't think enough of what's good for other people, know that right now? I'm not accomplishing a single fucking thing with my life and that's what's the worst of it, I'm so busy but what am I doing?

*sighs*

..not helping that I know I could, in theory, blow off this philosophy paper...shouldn't, though, I keep getting Bs in there and I'm *determined* to get an A to kill at least one of those... (pulled off an A- on my midterm at least, that was encouraging.)

May stay on campus late again tomorrow if I can.. and possibly really late, if needed and if the lab's free, the finishing point of my flash is in sight, but it's still a loooong way off.
And it's due Monday, when I have to present it to the class.

*cries*

//end yet another self-absorbed ramble. my apologies to you all.

*Ananda Daydream * 11:12 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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aaaaarg the world is out to get me.
or at least flash is.
>_______<

First, I lose everything I'd done on Monday, cos it spazzed at me and changed the saving location without me knowing it - so the new version was saved on the harddrive, where it was like insta-wipe.

I've suffered through a thooousand crashes on Lawrence, losing stuff every time.

The trial expired, and I can't find a serial that works, so now I can't use it on Lawrence at *all*.

*Now*, it fecking crashes on me on HERE! it got hung-up and I had to make it close, and now if I try to open up the file for everything I had done on the intro? It crashes flash.

*siiiiiighs heavily*

So now I get to completely re-do all I had for the intro as well. S'pose I should be glad it's only about an hour's worth of work gone down the drain this time.....

This is so not going to be ready by Monday. x___x;

*Ananda Daydream * 1:58 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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10.12.2004

U2 AND IPOD OMFGMIOSBHFIEUOSGFP*DS&(TGFDSGUIFGVDSUGV!L!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

go. just, go. I can't even talk yet.

gheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *__________________*

*Ananda Daydream * 9:49 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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But on a brighter note.. get hold of the new issue of Blender (comes out next week) if you can - not only are there U2s, but that's the one with the halfnakedLarry on the cover *dies*... and LOTS of pictures from the same shoot. We're talking multiple shots of shirtless Lar. guuuuuuuuuh. And they're all playing in the water! and they're *adorable*. And omFg is it slashy.
Like, undeniably so.
^_____________^

Meanwhile, article. Lar = genius. *adooooores*

*Ananda Daydream * 8:13 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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THE ULTIMATE SILENCE
October 12, 1998

Six years ago today, Matthew Shepard was murdered for being homosexual.

What will you do to end the silence?

Click here to post this on your own page or weblog

*Ananda Daydream * 8:03 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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Ciao, Laur and Lily, have a smashing time in London! ^________^

(p.s. Laur, you know we all expect a delightfully lengthy entry on qpq on your return. Your write-ups are the best. *G*)

*Ananda Daydream * 1:41 AM * (0) stars grow bright *

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ok, y'know...
It's currently 37 degrees out there.

It's October fecking ~~eleventh~~ twelfeth.

x____x;

motherfeckingbrr.

In happier news, I ordered my new cd burner today. *bounces about in happy lil circles* I'LL HAVE HARDDRIVE SPACE AGAIN YAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!

Until I run out of blank cds again. ^^;

But YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!!

*Ananda Daydream * 12:06 AM * (0) stars grow bright *

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10.11.2004

Dude.
My flash project is SO not due until next Monday.

^______________________^

goodness that's a relief. *phewph*...

I came in a whole hour early today to work on it, asked my professor for help and *think* I've now got it working right. Still have an intro to do though, and I need to find a way to make an unforeseen consequence of the way it works to make more sense. Which'll take either tweaking with the operation of the thing, or adding in another animation.

(Needless to say, I'm leaning toward the animation - I can draw and animate something far quicker and with more enjoyment and less stress than trying to make something work differently.^^; )

Also need to get sounds in and make the music work the way I want it to... I really *like* having the BOOMcha!s in there, but idk if they fit. *giggles, shrugs*

*Ananda Daydream * 1:03 PM * (0) stars grow bright *

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