Home for thanksgiving break now, will be here for a week, feel free to make me go out and do things, otherwise I'm doing homework and working on my nanowrimo novel all week. *g*


*takes a deep breath* But, I have a sad post to make, and I'm going to start crying again but, I figure if I make a post, I'll only have to say it once..and I really don't think this is something I can say more than once.

They put Curious down earlier this week.

I.. I'm glad they did, before things got worse, he was so old (13), and had been so thin and sick a lot, I know it.. Dad went to pick him up one day, and saw a black spot on his neck. He thought Curi'd just gotten into some grease or something, and went to wipe it off.. it wasn't grease, it went through the skin, his bone was exposed.. we don't know what happened, I'd assume he got into a fight with something, but whatever happened it had gotten infected and things, and.. he didn't seem to be in any pain, but, he let dad and mel put him into the carrier without any fight whatsoever (he's always fought so hard against it that it's always taken more than one person, two or more, to get him into it), I think he knew... they could've tried to have treated it with antibiotic, but there wasn't enough tissue there for it to have ever fully healed, there was only so much they could've done.. it would have only gotten worse, and he would have only been in pain later on.. and he wasn't hurting yet then, he was all friendly to everyone, even at the vet's, rubbing against dad, letting the vet pet him....

...

*crying again*

I'm glad he wasn't hurting, I'm glad they.. he got to the vet before he starting hurting.. I can't stop thinking of all these memories, there are so many.. he's been with me since I was nine years old.. he's helped me through moves, and a divorce, and high school, and so many changes, and so many heartaches.. anytime I was sad, or lonely, curled up somewhere and starting to cry, he'd come trotting over and rub against me, and let me hold him and his fur soaked up my tears.. and he listened patiently and let me know I wasn't alone..

I remember when I first saw him, the Rutenburg family up the street from us in Perry had two half-wild cats they took care of, the male orange and white, the female black and white.. they had a litter of five kittens, each litter had one that looked just like the mother, the rest were calico.. being the oldest, I was given first choice, so I picked out the black and white kitten, the only male, much to my siblings' dismay. Matt picked out a mostly-orange little calico fluffball, Mel picked out a tiny little thing with a black patch over one eye. (The other two were taken by our friends Ashley and Derick up the street..for some reason, Melon and Pat's tails became uber-fluffy, our three were never like that. *giggleshrug*) I named mine Curious, whihc I thought was a wonderful name for a cat. I wanted Matt to name his Mischief, but he instead named her Davy (Dave was the coolest name ever in his book at the time). Mel had decided before she even saw the kittens that she would name hers Goldielocks, for some reason only her-- oh goodness, was she really only three?? ..for some reason only her very young self knew. I remember the three kittens running around our yard in Perry, trying to climb the huge tree in the front yard.. curling up in boxes and on Dad's desk.. getting into the rafters in the garage, me spending ages trying to coax them down at dinnertime..
I remember when Curi ran off for a few days, Davy had been gone nearly a week, and we were clinging and doting on her afterwards, and I think Curious got jealous. So he took off, and after a few days, McDougalls up the street called and said he'd been chased up their pine tree by their dog. So I spent hours trying to coax him down, he was up in a huge ancient pine, the nearest branch was about twenty feet up the trunk.. tuna, cat food, calling, nothing worked.. Rob offered to scare him down by shooting his BB gun, but I flipped out and wouldn't let him anywhere near my cat with it. Finally, I went home for lunch, and when I came back, they said he'd run down along a branch and darted off into the cornfield. Sooo I called and walked along the edge of the cornfield, and just as I'd turned back into my own yard to wait, he popped out from the corn and ran across the road to me...
The day that we moved, Curi ran into the basement and hid - he never liked loudness or new people, especially any combination of the two. (By this time, Goldie had died, she'd been born with her nose somewhat deformed, and was never very healthy. Davey had run off again and never come back, probably finding more excitement and mice and things on one of the nearby farms.) After everything else was packed up, the movers and various friends and extended family gone.. Curi was still hiding in the basement, in the narrow space between the floor of the house and the dirt beneath it. Completely unreachable by anyone. *giggles* We got a can of tuna (I believe begged from the Cornells), and Dad and I stood in the basement caaalling and calling and coaxing and trying to reach behind the upended palletes which blocked off the uncrawlable space under the house from the basement. Finally, long after the house was silent, he came out, and we somehow got him into the cat carrier and into the car. Where he proceeded to meow for the majority of the hour-long drive.
I remember the combination of amusement, amazement, and disgust each of the rare times he brought a dead mouse or bird to the doorstep...
As most of you know, the cat would eat fecking anything, unless it was like, salad or something. This began..oh goodness, probably sometime back in junior high. Anytime he heard a can being opened, he'd sprint into the kitchen and meeooow and meow and rub against your legs and try to trip you, and put his paws on drawer handles, standing on his back legs and batting up toward the countertop. Once, it was a can of baked beans I was opening, and to prove to him it wasn't tuna I set it on the floor.....and he stuck his paw in and started licking it clean. And so it began. *giggles* Baked beans, beets, occasionally canned fruit, doritoes.. no, maybe that's partly where it began, I remember soon after moving in, someone dropped a dorito out in the backyard and he went after it. *giggles* I remember at one of our group sleep-overs, I flipped cos I saw Curious walk into Dad's office with his paw all orange-red..then I remembered I'd set an empty tomato paste can on the kitchen floor earlier. *g*
What's mostly looping over and over in my head, is him batting a pancake like a hockey puck all over the kitchen floor. *giggling* That was fantastic. (He'd eventually eat it, just little by little, after playing lots.)
I remember how much he and Bear were at odds when they first met, just this time last year, come to think of it... Bear wanted to be friends and play, and Curi..was a bit territorial, and usually batted at her and scared her off. But a few weeks on, and they were getting along.. I remember over Christmas break, crashing on the couch in the living room, in the house by myself most of the time, packing up my room.. I'd curl up on the couch with a blanket and pillow, one or the other would come over and curl up on me, the other soon following.. Bear by my face, Curi down by my feet, or at my side, where he knew I wouldn't move much.. Bear would get up and move and wake me up, but Curi would lay still and we'd keep each other warm...
I remember over the summer, most mornings/early afternoons when I'd wake up, I'd pour a bowl of cereal, and hear or see Curi out on the back porch, so I'd go out and sit on the porch steps with him for awhile. He'd try to get at my bowl of cereal pretty non-stop, so I'd toss a few pieces a little ways away and let him scamper after them and eat, I'd have time to get a few bites before he was back pawing at me again. *giggles*
Never exactly outgoing, usually reserved and a little.. he had such a strong personality. *has to smile, though tearing again* Stubborn, very strong-minded, would come when called only if he felt like it, though he knew exactly what you wanted. Very aware of things, though he didn't always care. Aloof. Pretty lazy, wouldn't usually deign to be amused by you dangling things in front of him..though if you kept at a bit he'd start batting at it and get a bit wound up if he was in the mood. Would leap up constantly though if you had food.
I've taken so many pictures of him.. sitting in midst of a small patch of catnip, barely visible.. curled up a box with Davy.. sitting by the door, looking up, a shot which wound up in the district art show at school.. calmly perched on the back porch..
His eyes weren't really any one colour, yellow and green and brown all at once.. his nose changed colour, sometimes it was bright pink, othertimes nearly white, I never did quite pin down exactly what caused it to change.. The shape of the black patches of fur on his neck and back made it look like he had a cape..
There are so many things I'll think of tonight, I'm scared to lay down to go to sleep already because I know I'll fall asleep crying if I let myself think...

...while talking to Tom last night, I told him that I was really looking forward to spending time with Mel and Curious in particular over the upcoming vacations...I don't know if I'm glad or sad that I wasn't here with they took him to the vet..I wish I could've held him and said goodbye..I don't know if I could have done it though..I don't know.....

He's been with me for thirteen years... my heart hurts so much right now, I want more than anything to go outside and call him (I almost did when I first came home, and didn't see him in the garage like I'd expected), I can see him trotting up through the shadows, all I want is to scoop him up and bury my face in his fur and hold him close to my chest like I have so many countless times.....

Curious, I love you, and I will always miss you.....