Ahh.... four new desktop pics today over on Desert Songs... -_^ (Adam Clayton and Star Trek. which I know is odd. but so'm I. *g*)

 

Take the Hey Hey, Which Monkee Are You? Quiz.

Woo! ^_^ ...I love Micky...drummers rock...it's all good....-_^

 
YES! Dude...there is...a procrastination.org...I have found my people...*G* This is just awesome..must consult before the next band rehearsal *g*...

But this I thought was really interesting...but I've seen this not in college girls (cos I'm not there yet--!), but in high school..."sophomore skanks"...and then, it comes in the younger kids, too, in the middle school...so very wrong...

 
...aaaaaaand still *another* new desktop pic...of October-era U2...an' I was supposed to've been in bed about 45 minutes ago...ah well...-_^
..but me bum's gettin' sore..been sittin' here *faaaar* too long..an' I'm tired...g'night. *g*

 
..and yet *another* new desktop pic over on Desert Songs...this one's of li'l Bono! ..so *cute*...no' as cute as Lar', o' course, but... ;)

 
Alright. So today, jazz band went to SUNY Fredonia for this jazz workshop...*great* fun! ...as I predicted, the 2-hour bus ride there, and then back, was prolly the most fun.. ;)
We got down there, and Mead gave us a tour of the campus, cos he'd gone there for college..*that* was interesting...heard all about his psycho conducting class professor..whom we've decided Mead took as his mentor -_^...and "the echo spot"...found a sign proclaiming "Slow pedestrians"...I said we should let a trumpter player cross the street there *eg*...Pat tried to steal afore-mentioned sign (!)...
Eventually, we went in, played a couple of songs, the master jazz professor dude there complimented us (and made one of our drummers' head swell far too much-!), complimented *me* on my improv thing, which was nice.. *g*...and he yelled at our trumpets and trombones for playin' with their bells in the stands, which Mead screams at 'em about every frickin' day!...Scott complained the *entire* time about not being able to play his clarinet in jazz band (as always)...our trumpets didn't even know who was playing what part...Brandon couldn't play thirds (*Mead* had to show him how - that's baaaaad...!)...our saxes rocked, of course. ;)
Then, we were in there for a jazz improvisation class...it was insane...the guy was flying thru discussion on chord progressions, dominant chords, etc...and we were frickin' *clueless*. I mean, we all know the Bb blues scale, that's been ingrained into us cos of our warm-up piece. But most of us know *nothing* of chords...and he had us imitating rhythms on different notes of the dominant chords etc...and there're college kids in there who totally know what they're doing...and we're struggling to follow along...I mean, I think we all understood what he was saying, telling us..we just couldn't think fast enough to get the notes on a lot of it...and poor Daf, who's like, *the best* jazz-child in our jazz band, said afterwards she was near tears cos she was frustrated cos she couldn't do it--! So that wasn't so cool...
And it started snowing. Like, psycho-snowing. So when we left to go out our gear back on the bus...yeah. It was cold. And random silly brass players went off on their own to try and find food? Yeah. They didn't know where to go..so, they came back to find the rest of us... so we got food, finally...sat around, joked about stuff...we had a whole big discussion about stupid people...Ken was arguing that people are stupid, but individuals aren't...Daf and Karen and I refuted it...Daf and I pulled in all these psycho arguements...and it got weird...and Daf and I slipped into British/Scottish accents again...and we'd been singing U2 non-stop alllll day...*g*
Bus ride back was similarly nuts...except, more so... Scott's forehead was bleeding cos he scratched it with a pin from the inside of his jacket... Mead's response? "Scott, you're a nimnuts."...Daf worked on her story some, while Ken and I tried to figure out what song we're doin' for our music history project (decided on the Beatles' "Long and Winding Road", we're gonna do this whole thing about how the Beatles' use of orchestration was imitated etc. in later times...which mean, I can use David Bowie's "Moonage Daydream" or summat...figure I'll pull in some big '70s supergroup, y'know?..and then like, go into songs with weird instrumentation..like the Church's "Under the Milky Way"...U2's "Tomorrow" or the influx remix of "Elevation"...etc.)...
..then, I was asking Daf for some input on some phrases, wording, ideas etc. I was stuck on in "Until the End of the World" (my awesome U2 fic that I've been working on since *December*, I realised yesterday!)...and Scott's all like, "What's that, what's that, can I see it???"...I'm like, sure...Daf'd been giggling over a line I'd worded wrong...and Scott saw it and *totally* cracked up...and we all just started laughing at *him* laughing! ...it was in the part where Edge's just come home, his house's been broken into...and Morleigh (his wife) is all upset, she's crying, Edge goes to see which guitars've been stolen...and then: "She understood, and backed away, going off to find some tissues and their children." I *meant* that she went to go find some tissues, and her and Edge's kids...but I think I've got to switch the order there---! ..so we were joking about tissue children the rest of the way home...
Yeah. And other assorted psychoness...which I'll not go into now cos I could be here all night....but it was great fun. ^_^ (*Much* better'n being in math, english, etc...crap, this means I missed gym *again*--!...ah well...)

 
I FOUND MY PICTURE CD!!!!!!!! WOOOO!!!!!!!! ^_^ ..can you tell I missed it?! *G* ..but yeah. It was in the case with my Joshua Tree cd. I have no idea why...wow. but I found it! ...granted, I still gotta find the *other* one..but this was the main one, with massive amounts of pics, and all my old U2 newsletters...
But yeah. Had a nice fieldtrip today...got to traipse thru the woods in the pouring rain. Over severely wet ground, y'know, like, standing water and all...and actually, blazing my way thru the woods *was* fun...it was just sitting in a heat-less pavilion-thing, in the cold, for an hour or so, fingers so numb I could barely write, toes froze, boots soaked..that part wasn't so fun.
*sigh*
...I'm sick of being cold..it's the first day of spring, it can be *warm* now!...
I am *SO* moving to Arizona...

 
Today was an inordinantly dull day in school... as evidenced by the fact that I got *four* drawings done. ..ok, so they're sketchy-pen-things, but... did a random rock-star in math and advisement (cos "every girl wants a rock star" - "tv trash", Robin Black and the Intergalactic Rock Stars..*g*)...then did a cross with an angel leaning on it in english (btw - not only was Wuthering Heights miserable, the movie - '90s version - sucked terribly, wasn't even true to the characters at all! ..and Catherine's drunk, I think..)...during early dismissal, I drew Rebel Rebel - my first female character in..oh dear..*forever*!...then at mom's this afternoon, did a random prettyboy - who actually looks *happy*! *gaspo!* *g* (It's *hard* to draw people happy, and not have them look dumb!)...wish I could show ya, but...*sigh*...haven't had a chance to beat my scanner software into submission yet...
But, time to go play in photoshop, tho I oughta sleep, having only gotten four hours of sleep last night...but I need to update my love of the moment again...;)

 
And I've got yet another fanfic up on f/f.net. -_^

 
Dang...*so* hate it when I can't get to blogger....silly ie couldn't find the bleedin' site earlier, thus, tho I had this whole next thing written up hours ago, couldn't post it til now...
..and yes, I'm up this late, and I've school tomorrow...had to finish bloody Wuthering Heights..and the essays *were* hard...blah...but it's done! Woo! Finally! Now I can have a *life* again!!! ...no, wait, never had one...nevermind..*wry grin*
But yes, as for tonight's hugely long rambling...
Well...
Kevin's asking Amber Lehman to the prom.
And...
Heather told me, she was afraid to, almost, she thought I would be so upset...
But I wasn't at first. It simplifies things, really, I won't have to figure out who to hang out with - he'll want to be with the choir people, I couldn't stand them for a whole night...and I'd want to be with Heather and the rest, but I wouldn't want him to feel out of place...and if I went with him, I'd have to get a dress etc., if I dressed in rock star garb or whatever, he wouldn't get it, it'd be weird, that just doesn't go with who he is...
But then I thought about it. How he'd been the only guy I'd ever considered going to the prom with, all these years. All these years we've known each other...we were friends in preschool, I wrote that I loved him even then...I still have the heart-shaped piece of soap he'd given me for Valentine's back then, with "sweetheart" written on it...Heather and I were talking about how Kevin'd risen from relative obscurity over the past couple of years...and I said it's no wonder, he's such a sweet guy...but I was the first to discover him..or, one of the first, I suppose, there was Betsy...to think, I'd almost forgotten about her again!...in junior high, Kevin and I were pretty much inseperable, we were always together...always...and Dan and everyone teased us...*everyone* teased us, mercilessly...and they said I should ask him out...I might as well, everyone thought we were going out anyway...but I never did, and he never did, we were both too shy...and he was afraid of losing what we had...
...but we lost it anyway...
And at the end of last (school) year, I didn't know what to think anymore, didn't know what I felt, I loved him still, yet...So I had him meet me back on the nature trail one day, and we walked around, chatted...but I lost my nerve...so I had him meet me back there again one evening, and we sat in the outdoor classroom and talked...for a couple of hours...and he said he should be going soon, and I told him to wait, and I came right out and said it...I love you...and I looked up to
see his face, and he was smiling...an odd smile, I'd never seen before, surprised and happy...I thought...and I blathered on for another few minutes, said I didn't know if it was a romantic love or not, but I loved him, and I just wanted him to know...and he said he loved me too, as a friend, at least. And I was so unbelievably relieved, I'd done it, I'd said it, and we were still friends, but it was even better cos I felt the air'd been cleared between us...and riding home on my bike, I felt
so free, such a weight off my shoulders...
But then this year...we've talked so little...and then that one day, he sat beside me, and my side got all tingly again where it touched his...and I was thrown into confusion again...cos I'd been getting to know Cory, and Ken, and Steve, and others, these people that Kevin either didn't talk to much, or couldn't stand...but then I looked at Kevin and he's still beautiful to my eyes...but we hardly talk, and when we do...so many times it feels almost forced...we don't know what to talk about...but I still love him...
I still love him. And I always will. But not...not in a romantic way.
And it will upset me to see him at the prom with someone else...all these half-plans I'd made all these years...thinking it must be fate, we were so close in preschool, then to come back, and get along so well, and to love him again (tho it's a friendship-love now, not a romantic-love, but I didn't know that then)...
But then...
This is my last tie with normalacy broken.
The last one.
He was always "abnormally normal"...in boring clothes, we could never get him to change his hair...and he...never did understand my thing with music, he hardly listens to music...and music's my life...and he's hopelessly prejudiced against Hanson and David Bowie...and I can't see ever going to a U2 concert with him, he wouldn't feel what I feel there, I don't think...I'd always been afraid of weirding him out too much, of scaring him off...not completely afraid of it, but that was always there...I remember he was seriously frightened, I think, that day I talked of crumbling society...and I laughed, I enjoyed scaring him like that, thought it would do him good...still think so...but I think I need someone who'll rant with me, who'll dream with me, who'll understand me...and I think there are sides of me that he would have a lot of trouble with...
But...
...thinking about it...
...this is good.
...In all my daydreams of the future, whenever they were of a future with him...I was still here...housewife in the suburbs...happy, content, but still daydreaming of the rest of the world...traveling on vacations, plenty of money, comfortable life...
...but in my other dreams...
I want to be a rockstar. I want to travel the world, I want to meet people, learn about their way of life, their culture, their music...I want to go to concerts...I want to know music, and know life, and know *everything*...and I would never have that in a future with him.
But now...
I'm free from that.
I can dress like a rockstar every day if I want. I can write what I want, say what I want...never with a fear of alienating him.
I'm free.
I can be anything I want to be...I can dress as a rock star when I go to the prom! And it won't matter! My friends put up with it, even enjoy it...so I don't care.
It's *my* life. I can do what I please. I can leave here, live half-broke, in some crap apartment above a local punk (*real* punk) band, and drool over a blue-haired drummer.
..and it's not that I'd been *that* tied down by the thought of Kevin...it's just that, I knew that was there, and wondered if that would be my future, it was a possibility...it's not that I had an unhealthy obsession with him, or felt that he was my *only* option...it's that I daydream a lot -_^... and...he was my most realistic option...
And I do still love him, he's got a killer sense of humour, and the most beautiful blue eyes...
But...
This just...gave closure, I think, to an uncertainty that had been lurking for rather awhile...I was thinking this over earlier, and when I reached the end of it, I just felt like I could let go now, let go of him, but not just him, with my past, with the simple life I lead here, with the everyday routines of mediocrity...and that my dreams were a possiblity, I can be a musician, or whatever, I can live in that world...
Just that...
I'm free. Can't even explain it now, really, but...he *was* my last tie with normalcy. The last chance the world had to keep me quiet and contained.
And now...
Look out, world.
No more Melissa.
It's Ananda Daydream from here on out...

 


Find out "What is your inner Hologram"! @ http://jem.planetag.de/


Find out "Which Misfit are you?"! @ http://jem.planetag.de/


Take The Stingers Test! @ http://jem.planetag.de/

..thinkin' I'm closest to Stormer, here...(tho Rapture just *looks* really cool..*g*)...but then, I barely actually remember the characters, or the show...tho I know I watched it...*sigh*...whatever happened to all the *good* cartoons???...need to find some Jem stuff someday...and more Dangermouse. Dangermouse..is the *best*. ^_^

 
Ok. Now I can read the rest of the weekend. And do homework and whatever other meaningless shite I'm supposed to do. ...just made 2 new (well, one, and a variation of it) U2 desktop pics. That came out quite well.
I have accomplished something productive this weekend. -_^ (Head to Desert Songs (as usual) to check 'em out...)