PThe Nightingale and the Rose, Oscar Wilde

        The Sorrows of Young Werther, Goethe


        Way behind on all crochet.
        It is NaNoNovember!

        anandadaydream's Profile Page

        blogger profile
        library thing

        desert songs
        amaranth and jasmine
        my lj


        Amaranthus, continued (NaNoWriMo 2010)
        untitled (2009)
        untitled (2008)
        Amaranthus (NaNoWriMo 2007)
        untitled (2006)
        Beneath the Dust (2005)
        Mortal Angel (2005)

        quid pro quo
        modernday phoenix
        life of a naturefreak

        lesbian pirates
        questionable content
        the dreamer
        joe the circle

        101 cookbooks
        i can haz cheezburger

        the hunger site
        the ONE campaign
        amnesty international


        the quote lists:
        summer 2004
        (rest to come once I get them online again~)

          the massive archives:
          12/09/2001 - 12/16/2001
          12/16/2001 - 12/23/2001
          12/23/2001 - 12/30/2001
          12/30/2001 - 01/06/2002
          01/06/2002 - 01/13/2002
          01/13/2002 - 01/20/2002
          01/20/2002 - 01/27/2002
          01/27/2002 - 02/03/2002
          02/03/2002 - 02/10/2002
          02/10/2002 - 02/17/2002
          02/17/2002 - 02/24/2002
          02/24/2002 - 03/03/2002
          03/03/2002 - 03/10/2002
          03/10/2002 - 03/17/2002
          03/17/2002 - 03/24/2002
          03/24/2002 - 03/31/2002
          03/31/2002 - 04/07/2002
          04/07/2002 - 04/14/2002
          04/14/2002 - 04/21/2002
          04/21/2002 - 04/28/2002
          04/28/2002 - 05/05/2002
          05/05/2002 - 05/12/2002
          05/12/2002 - 05/19/2002
          05/19/2002 - 05/26/2002
          05/26/2002 - 06/02/2002
          06/02/2002 - 06/09/2002
          06/09/2002 - 06/16/2002
          06/16/2002 - 06/23/2002
          06/23/2002 - 06/30/2002
          06/30/2002 - 07/07/2002
          07/07/2002 - 07/14/2002
          07/14/2002 - 07/21/2002
          07/21/2002 - 07/28/2002
          07/28/2002 - 08/04/2002
          08/04/2002 - 08/11/2002
          08/11/2002 - 08/18/2002
          08/18/2002 - 08/25/2002
          08/25/2002 - 09/01/2002
          09/01/2002 - 09/08/2002
          09/08/2002 - 09/15/2002
          09/15/2002 - 09/22/2002
          09/22/2002 - 09/29/2002
          09/29/2002 - 10/06/2002
          10/06/2002 - 10/13/2002
          10/13/2002 - 10/20/2002
          10/20/2002 - 10/27/2002
          10/27/2002 - 11/03/2002
          11/03/2002 - 11/10/2002
          11/10/2002 - 11/17/2002
          11/17/2002 - 11/24/2002
          11/24/2002 - 12/01/2002
          12/01/2002 - 12/08/2002
          12/08/2002 - 12/15/2002
          12/29/2002 - 01/05/2003
          01/05/2003 - 01/12/2003
          01/12/2003 - 01/19/2003
          01/19/2003 - 01/26/2003
          01/26/2003 - 02/02/2003
          02/02/2003 - 02/09/2003
          02/09/2003 - 02/16/2003
          02/16/2003 - 02/23/2003
          02/23/2003 - 03/02/2003
          03/02/2003 - 03/09/2003
          03/09/2003 - 03/16/2003
          03/16/2003 - 03/23/2003
          03/30/2003 - 04/06/2003
          04/13/2003 - 04/20/2003
          04/20/2003 - 04/27/2003
          04/27/2003 - 05/04/2003
          05/11/2003 - 05/18/2003
          05/18/2003 - 05/25/2003
          05/25/2003 - 06/01/2003
          06/01/2003 - 06/08/2003
          06/08/2003 - 06/15/2003
          06/15/2003 - 06/22/2003
          06/22/2003 - 06/29/2003
          06/29/2003 - 07/06/2003
          07/06/2003 - 07/13/2003
          07/13/2003 - 07/20/2003
          07/20/2003 - 07/27/2003
          07/27/2003 - 08/03/2003
          08/03/2003 - 08/10/2003
          08/10/2003 - 08/17/2003
          08/17/2003 - 08/24/2003
          08/24/2003 - 08/31/2003
          08/31/2003 - 09/07/2003
          09/07/2003 - 09/14/2003
          09/14/2003 - 09/21/2003
          09/21/2003 - 09/28/2003
          09/28/2003 - 10/05/2003
          10/05/2003 - 10/12/2003
          10/12/2003 - 10/19/2003
          10/19/2003 - 10/26/2003
          10/26/2003 - 11/02/2003
          11/02/2003 - 11/09/2003
          11/16/2003 - 11/23/2003
          11/23/2003 - 11/30/2003
          12/14/2003 - 12/21/2003
          12/21/2003 - 12/28/2003
          12/28/2003 - 01/04/2004
          01/04/2004 - 01/11/2004
          01/11/2004 - 01/18/2004
          01/18/2004 - 01/25/2004
          01/25/2004 - 02/01/2004
          02/01/2004 - 02/08/2004
          02/15/2004 - 02/22/2004
          02/22/2004 - 02/29/2004
          02/29/2004 - 03/07/2004
          03/07/2004 - 03/14/2004
          03/14/2004 - 03/21/2004
          03/21/2004 - 03/28/2004
          04/11/2004 - 04/18/2004
          05/16/2004 - 05/23/2004
          05/23/2004 - 05/30/2004
          05/30/2004 - 06/06/2004
          06/13/2004 - 06/20/2004
          06/27/2004 - 07/04/2004
          07/04/2004 - 07/11/2004
          07/11/2004 - 07/18/2004
          07/18/2004 - 07/25/2004
          07/25/2004 - 08/01/2004
          08/01/2004 - 08/08/2004
          08/08/2004 - 08/15/2004
          08/15/2004 - 08/22/2004
          08/22/2004 - 08/29/2004
          08/29/2004 - 09/05/2004
          09/05/2004 - 09/12/2004
          09/12/2004 - 09/19/2004
          09/19/2004 - 09/26/2004
          09/26/2004 - 10/03/2004
          10/03/2004 - 10/10/2004
          10/10/2004 - 10/17/2004
          10/17/2004 - 10/24/2004
          10/24/2004 - 10/31/2004
          10/31/2004 - 11/07/2004
          11/07/2004 - 11/14/2004
          11/14/2004 - 11/21/2004
          11/21/2004 - 11/28/2004
          11/28/2004 - 12/05/2004
          12/05/2004 - 12/12/2004
          12/12/2004 - 12/19/2004
          12/19/2004 - 12/26/2004
          12/26/2004 - 01/02/2005
          01/02/2005 - 01/09/2005
          01/09/2005 - 01/16/2005
          01/16/2005 - 01/23/2005
          01/23/2005 - 01/30/2005
          01/30/2005 - 02/06/2005
          02/06/2005 - 02/13/2005
          02/13/2005 - 02/20/2005
          02/20/2005 - 02/27/2005
          02/27/2005 - 03/06/2005
          03/06/2005 - 03/13/2005
          03/13/2005 - 03/20/2005
          03/20/2005 - 03/27/2005
          03/27/2005 - 04/03/2005
          04/03/2005 - 04/10/2005
          04/10/2005 - 04/17/2005
          04/17/2005 - 04/24/2005
          04/24/2005 - 05/01/2005
          05/01/2005 - 05/08/2005
          05/08/2005 - 05/15/2005
          05/15/2005 - 05/22/2005
          05/22/2005 - 05/29/2005
          06/05/2005 - 06/12/2005
          06/26/2005 - 07/03/2005
          07/24/2005 - 07/31/2005
          07/31/2005 - 08/07/2005
          08/07/2005 - 08/14/2005
          08/14/2005 - 08/21/2005
          08/21/2005 - 08/28/2005
          08/28/2005 - 09/04/2005
          09/04/2005 - 09/11/2005
          09/11/2005 - 09/18/2005
          10/09/2005 - 10/16/2005
          10/30/2005 - 11/06/2005
          11/13/2005 - 11/20/2005
          11/20/2005 - 11/27/2005
          12/04/2005 - 12/11/2005
          12/11/2005 - 12/18/2005
          12/18/2005 - 12/25/2005
          01/29/2006 - 02/05/2006
          02/05/2006 - 02/12/2006
          02/19/2006 - 02/26/2006
          02/26/2006 - 03/05/2006
          03/05/2006 - 03/12/2006
          03/12/2006 - 03/19/2006
          06/18/2006 - 06/25/2006
          06/25/2006 - 07/02/2006
          07/02/2006 - 07/09/2006
          07/09/2006 - 07/16/2006
          07/16/2006 - 07/23/2006
          07/23/2006 - 07/30/2006
          07/30/2006 - 08/06/2006
          08/06/2006 - 08/13/2006
          08/27/2006 - 09/03/2006
          09/03/2006 - 09/10/2006
          09/10/2006 - 09/17/2006
          09/17/2006 - 09/24/2006
          09/24/2006 - 10/01/2006
          10/08/2006 - 10/15/2006
          10/15/2006 - 10/22/2006
          10/29/2006 - 11/05/2006
          11/05/2006 - 11/12/2006
          11/12/2006 - 11/19/2006
          11/19/2006 - 11/26/2006
          03/25/2007 - 04/01/2007
          04/01/2007 - 04/08/2007
          04/08/2007 - 04/15/2007
          04/15/2007 - 04/22/2007
          04/22/2007 - 04/29/2007
          04/29/2007 - 05/06/2007
          05/06/2007 - 05/13/2007
          05/20/2007 - 05/27/2007
          07/15/2007 - 07/22/2007
          09/02/2007 - 09/09/2007
          09/09/2007 - 09/16/2007
          09/23/2007 - 09/30/2007
          09/30/2007 - 10/07/2007
          10/07/2007 - 10/14/2007
          10/14/2007 - 10/21/2007
          10/21/2007 - 10/28/2007
          10/28/2007 - 11/04/2007
          11/04/2007 - 11/11/2007
          11/11/2007 - 11/18/2007
          11/18/2007 - 11/25/2007
          11/25/2007 - 12/02/2007
          12/02/2007 - 12/09/2007
          01/06/2008 - 01/13/2008
          01/20/2008 - 01/27/2008
          02/03/2008 - 02/10/2008
          02/10/2008 - 02/17/2008
          02/24/2008 - 03/02/2008
          03/02/2008 - 03/09/2008
          03/09/2008 - 03/16/2008
          03/16/2008 - 03/23/2008
          03/30/2008 - 04/06/2008
          04/13/2008 - 04/20/2008
          10/19/2008 - 10/26/2008
          10/26/2008 - 11/02/2008
          11/02/2008 - 11/09/2008
          11/09/2008 - 11/16/2008
          11/16/2008 - 11/23/2008
          11/30/2008 - 12/07/2008
          12/07/2008 - 12/14/2008
          12/28/2008 - 01/04/2009
          01/04/2009 - 01/11/2009
          01/11/2009 - 01/18/2009
          01/18/2009 - 01/25/2009
          01/25/2009 - 02/01/2009
          02/01/2009 - 02/08/2009
          02/08/2009 - 02/15/2009
          02/15/2009 - 02/22/2009
          02/22/2009 - 03/01/2009
          03/01/2009 - 03/08/2009
          03/08/2009 - 03/15/2009
          03/15/2009 - 03/22/2009
          04/12/2009 - 04/19/2009
          04/19/2009 - 04/26/2009
          04/26/2009 - 05/03/2009
          05/03/2009 - 05/10/2009
          05/10/2009 - 05/17/2009
          05/17/2009 - 05/24/2009
          06/07/2009 - 06/14/2009
          06/14/2009 - 06/21/2009
          06/21/2009 - 06/28/2009
          08/02/2009 - 08/09/2009
          08/23/2009 - 08/30/2009
          09/06/2009 - 09/13/2009
          09/13/2009 - 09/20/2009
          09/27/2009 - 10/04/2009
          10/11/2009 - 10/18/2009
          11/01/2009 - 11/08/2009
          11/08/2009 - 11/15/2009
          11/15/2009 - 11/22/2009
          11/22/2009 - 11/29/2009
          11/29/2009 - 12/06/2009
          12/06/2009 - 12/13/2009
          01/10/2010 - 01/17/2010
          02/07/2010 - 02/14/2010
          02/21/2010 - 02/28/2010
          02/28/2010 - 03/07/2010
          03/07/2010 - 03/14/2010
          03/14/2010 - 03/21/2010
          03/21/2010 - 03/28/2010
          04/04/2010 - 04/11/2010
          04/11/2010 - 04/18/2010
          04/18/2010 - 04/25/2010
          04/25/2010 - 05/02/2010
          05/02/2010 - 05/09/2010
          05/09/2010 - 05/16/2010
          05/16/2010 - 05/23/2010
          05/23/2010 - 05/30/2010
          07/04/2010 - 07/11/2010
          07/11/2010 - 07/18/2010
          08/08/2010 - 08/15/2010
          11/07/2010 - 11/14/2010
          11/14/2010 - 11/21/2010
          11/21/2010 - 11/28/2010
          11/28/2010 - 12/05/2010
          01/09/2011 - 01/16/2011
          01/30/2011 - 02/06/2011

Hiiiiii again.

Work + wedding planning + eating on budget = soul eaten. big surprise.

Wedding planning summary:

Buffalo & Erie County Botanical Gardens for the ceremony + reception. We're heading up next week to talk to someone in person, and probably nail down the details (like the date - late August/early September, a Sunday afternoon). May try to poke our heads in at some of the catering possibilities too.

Shower is going to be a casual party probably at a state park or something. Have decorating plans. Also have decorating plans and some ideas to play with for the wedding. Invitations have been narrowed down, will most likely get them from Invited Ink on Etsy - though I still have a few other contenders. Started looking at photographers this week.. and good god it's a lil overwhelming. I have a good handful of ones I like, buuutttt whether I can afford them is an issue. (Still, I know it's something I should make work - hearing too many regrets from people who didn't splurge on photos!)

Dress, clueless. (Was scouting around here for design ideas, and kept trying to focus on dresses.. and still pretty clueless.) Cake, haven't even started looking at. But I know what I'm doing for guestbooks!!! lmao. I'm so ridiculous.

Honeymoon is Tom's planning area. Good lord the hotels all look stunning. We're looking at ryokans - a more traditional Japanese style. (Quick example - this site was Tom's jumping-off point for awhile, and Ugenta was a front-runner at one point. He's been doing so much research it's insane.) Which reminds me, I should plow through another Japanese lesson today. I can say "the cat is sleeping" and "the woman drinks tea" and "the moon is white". uhm. still have a ways to go!

But! I sat down in Photoshop today for the first time in aaages, and churned out the notecard design that's been bouncing around in my head for about a month now. Will probably be my thank you cards for the shower/wedding. (I can do the printing at work for cheap, hooray!) That basic design, light aqua and black&white damask, will be the running theme of the decorations. (Probably with less of the distressed look... but I couldn't help it! it's been so long since I had an excuse to do it!) Water bottle labels (I have label paper, can print at work, wrap it in packing tape and it's waterproofed!), menu signs, whatever all else.

We'll see how the color situation goes. More of a bright turquoise for the shower, a lighter aqua shade for the wedding. But mixing similar shades throughout, to keep myself sane. ;)

Labels: , ,

Oof. Again, super-long silence here. Holiday season is always insanely busy for me, between baking the usual 20 dozen or so cookies, the crocheting everyone's gifts last minute/late, shopping with no money... good times.

But we did have a lovely holiday - I promise to eventually finish my post about Thanksgiving and Tom proposing. Really. Christmas morning, we chatted with his family via a Skype video call; Christmas afternoon/evening, we went up to Rochester to visit my family. New Year's Eve, we stayed in and ate cheese, the day after, we had a holiday party at Sam's, the day after THAT, we had the Paper Factory Christmas party, which was fun as always.

My birthday, I was off work and had a lovely lazy day, then went out to a less-special dinner, as yesterday, when we were both off work, we went out for a movie and a better dinner (all Tom's treat). We'd been looking forward to the new Tron movie for.. oh god, probably as long as it's been in development. Wanted to see it in 3D.. but we arrived at the theater (an hour's drive, to a theater we don't usually go to) only to find their projector broken. Buuut as the credits finished, there was a note that some scenes were 2D amidst the 3D, which means that despite the impression we'd had, the movie wasn't totally intended to be seen in 3D. This is very confusing for us, as we'd rather see it in whatever format it was originally meant to be seen in.

Either which way, I LOVED the movie. Tom was a little less than impressed, buuut.. The plot to the original is really pretty bad. I wasn't expecting much. What I was hoping-against-hope for, was atmosphere, and that, they totally nailed. The soundtrack is absolutely perfect and staggering. The visuals kept so true to the spirit of the original, that I couldn't be happier.

Dinner.. we wanted something different. Melting Pot is lovely, but, we've been so many times now. We were going to try out a pizza place, but, the location our gps took us to was closed. So, we went for sushi. Fuji Grill, up in Williamsville. The sushi? was deliiiiicious. The eel rolls we had for an appetizer were amazing. Tom failed to be impressed with the miso soup - "When I go out somewhere for miso soup, I expect something better than what I can get at home." "...maaaybe you should just accept that I'm a decent cook?" And, unfortunately, my suspicion about the sake was correct - we were brought the same bottle of (slightly cheaper) sake that we can pick up at our local small-town liquor store. I thought it was delicious anyway, though Tom was a little annoyed. He can be such a food snob. But the restaurant had a lovely, cozy atmosphere, and the sushi was delicious, and it was a really lovely time.

In wedding news.. Tom and I sat down and worked out some budgeting yesterday, and worked out what we'll be able to save, and thus be able to spend on it all. It's not a huge amount, but I think plenty enough to have a lovely day - so much of the pretty is going to be in the details, and those, I can handle. :) I have plots. And not only am I myself an artsy person, but holy crap have I built up local connections. ;)

We spent quite a bit of time yesterday looking at hotels in Kyoto - Tom's taking charge of the honeymoon plans. His parents.. I cannot even put into words how generous they're being with making that trip our gift. It's going to be amazing. I think I've convinced Tom to pick out a slightly more Japanese style hotel, and they all look really gorgeous. He's growing a lil terrified of taking a trip to a whole different country on our own, but I'm just excited. If I survived a trip to Italy as a 16-year old.. granted, it was largely super-supervised, but not every minute of it, and nobody in my group knew Italian (beyond "please", "thank you", "shut up", and eventually "exit"). We'll be just fine. :)

I have spent my morning up to my nose in planning again. Sifted through some more locations today, checked out a couple new ideas, revisited some previous ones. Sonnenberg Gardens, lovely as they are, the reception alone would devour my entire budget. Sooo that's a no-go. (Just as well - it was the farthest away of the places I was looking at.) The Buffalo Botanical Gardens are looking better and better though - Sunday afternoons are extra-cheap, and even the regular price is manageable. Also - I recently learned that Tom was originally planning to propose to me there. Which adds a little something, I think. :)

He likes my idea of maybe going as late as September with the wedding, and I'm liking it more as well. September is still gorgeous around here, it's still warm without being deadly, it's just off-season enough that costs might be a little less, aaaand it will maximize the amount of planning/saving time. ;p

Labels: , , , , ,


Plot is a million miles away from resolved. 4783920 subplots now exist, along with an equal number of new character relationship complications.

I am so in love with my Phistos. (Grigori. Whatever. They will always be Phistos in my heart.)

My faith in my writing ability is sototally rekindled. YAAAAAAAAY NANOWRIMO! You have made a bleak month into a giant ball of totallyawesome, yet again. <3

Labels: ,

Ὅσον ζῇς, φαίνου,
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ·
πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν,
τὸ τέλος ὁ xρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.”

“While you live, shine
Don't suffer anything at all;
Life exists only a short while
And time demands its toll”

Song of Seikilos, oldest surviving complete musical composition, somewhere between 200BC-100BC.

I've spent a surprising amount of time researching music for NaNoWriMo this year - hours one day looking into wax cylinders and variants, how they worked and how they sounded and the sort of music that was put on them. Hours another day looking into music from ancient Greece, the instruments and lyrics and actual sound of the songs. The Song of Seikilos is short enough, and sweet enough, that I decided to teach it to myself - I occasionally forget a word or two here and there, but after repeating it 4783902 times, I finally got it down. (It's a tough melody, to our current music system... plus, obviously, I knew no Greek prior to this.)

The words to Seikilos really struck me on first reading - while there are older tunes, and more eerie melodies, this one seemed... oddly accessible, actually. The words could have as easily been written today. The song isn't a long list of the attributes of deities, or hero's praise... just a short, sweet little thing. Brief enough that I could have a character sing it in my story, and then I realized how struck by it another character would be, and with as light and happy as the song could be, it would make a really nice scene.

I'm happily surprised by how much joy has worked its way into the novel this year. I hadn't planned for Mephisto to be happy much at all, really, and here he is absolutely rapturous. (Definitely going to have to re-build the scene where it all falls apart - it's nowhere near epic enough anymore!)

...anyway, point of all this being. I've been listening to a set of U2 outtakes (mainly "Mercy", obsessively), and singing Song of Seikilos. "Love puts the blue back in my eye, love will come again...", "while you live, shine", and it's had me all warm and fuzzy and safe and happy, despite the occasional bouts of drama around.

Next post (which I'm not allowed to write until AFTER I get my wordcount in for the day! I shouldn't have done this post either, but, it got longer as I wrote), will be the story of our Thanksgiving trip to NC - and the fact that I am now engaged.


(...honestly? I just felt there HAD to be a buffer here. My last post, I was so angry at Tom! So frustrated and $^#*@(*! and upset, leading up to the trip. Trip itself went fine, and became really lovely, and then I got proposed to and could barely speak for an hour. Bit of an extreme.)

Labels: , , , ,

...I thought the boy was asleep, so I stayed downstairs longer, until I felt calm enough to be in the same room again.

10pm, when he'd told me he planned to sleep at 9. (it usually takes him 5-10min to conk out.) He calls down to me. And I have to admit, tho a bit of me finds it absurd that he fails to sleep without me here... It's also really, really sweet. 10min after initial angst over cable, he had actually forgotten what we were upset over. Totally over it, before I'd finished a first cathartic listening of U2's "Mercy". Me.. My heart still feels a lil heavy, even now. But.. the boy is sweetly holding me in his sleep. And I am listening to "Mercy" yet again. Should be able to sleep soon. Thinking this is AWESOME timing for an alarm/sleep timer to have FINALLY!!1! shown up for my zune. Absurdly overdue. Might listen to this song into my sleep... it's a bit of an addiction, the last two days.

Labels: , ,

Blurgh. Too cranky to sleep.

Granted, I have been an idiot today. 1) We went out to dinner, and I failed to bring the appropriate gift card with me. 2) Realized when home, that I left my laptop cable at work.

Tom haaaaates going back out when we've just come home. It makes him seriously cranky, and it does not matter if it's only a five minute drive, it's the whole act of getting up and going out again. I can somewhat understand this.

My forgetfulness also makes him actively angry. Now I understand it can be frustrating, but he says it embarrasses him and makes him really angry. I suspect this is because he has great respect for my potential intellect, and it frustrates him when I fail to work it properly. (Stupidity makes him downright angry. It makes me, and most people, kind of sad and disappointed, but it makes him actually angry.)

So, after dinner and a stop at the grocery store, we got home, and I realized I didn't have my laptop cord. I called work, and Ashley answered with "hey! guess what you forgot?" I do not work tomorrow, and Monday we leave for NC for a few days to spend Thanksgiving with his dad and grandma. Tom said he was NOT going out again tonight, but grudgingly agreed to pick it up from Paper Factory after he got out of work tomorrow. (PF closes Sundays at the same time he gets out - he said they could just leave the cord outside.) This was vaguely okay, and I was willing to do this, and try to type on my main computer. (This is NOT something that really works for writing purposes, it's less comfy to type on this one, and it has waaaayyyy too many distractions.)

So, I called the store again, and this time Lucas answered. I said Tom was being a less-than-compassionate-person, and, without me asking, Lucas answered with a "well, I don't know exactly where you live, but I can drop it off for you after work".

I. love. these. people.

Thus, my facebook status became "I have the best coworkers on the planet. Lucas J DuBois you are my hero and I love you more than Thomas Hamilton right now. ;)".

...I do understand Tom's pov. But I would also like to point out that, if the car were broken, and HIS power cable was left somewhere, I would walk if needed to go retrieve it. (Really. It's a gorgeous night out, and I am seriously music-binging lately, I'd love the quality time with headphones cranked up.) Yes, he does go out of his way to take me to and pick me up from work every day, and I know that's been making him slowly crazy these past few months. So it's a big deal in his head, and I can understand that. So I'm (trying desperately to feel) not mad. He has also taken issue with my forgetfulness - which, honestly? Does not really hinder him on a day-to-day basis. It occasionally causes me annoyances, and costs us 30 seconds in leaving the apartment in the morning. "You should really do something about it." Wtfh am I supposed to do about forgetfulness??! I leave myself a hundred thousand notes when things are important. I get myself into schedule-mode for things like getting ready for work, and rarely forget things in those cases. Done. "It's embarrassing." And it's NOT embarrassing to me??! I called work, and whined to my coworkers, and they took pity on me and brought me my damn cable. That makes me feel like a winner in society?

...there. Off my chest. I can't go to bed with this crap running through my head. Now it can stay here and leave me alone.

Anyway. A few minutes past 9, I head out to where my road meets a bigger road, so Lucas can find me. Shortly thereafter, he pulls up - "I brought you this too" - my cakepan! Which I had forgotten, and knew I'd forgotten, but didn't feel it was worth the effort of retrieving, as I won't need it for awhile. And he handed me my cable, and I thanked him a lot, and he was so light and casual and friendly about it all.

And it's such, such, a simple act of kindness, but God did it mean the world to me tonight.

Labels: , , ,

Aaaand the annual prolonged absence kicked in again, didn't it.

August had the Star Wars con, which ate my life for a week (in the best kind of way), aaand then it was too overwhelming to write about, so I didn't, which yes, is stupid. I did start a scrapbook and a write-up, but it's all unfinished. Ask me about it and I will try to tell you. :)

For the month of November, I will be posting excessively on:
The 2010 NaNoWriMo blog.
Go over there to see what's new.

I am going back to work on Amaranthus, the Phisto novel I started in '07. It has lots of gaps, and needs more fat on its poor bones. I am trying to fix that.

Also - follow me on Twitter. I'm seriously enjoying the micro-blogging thing. I suspect it is going to be the bane of my NaNoNovember, but, well, something has to be.

Labels: , ,

I clung to bed far longer than I should have this morning. So much to do before our trip, and once I woke, I couldn't get back to sleep, between people talking outside and fretting over a few things at work (which I should only slightly be fretting about, if at all). I realized last night, I have responsibility burn-out again, and it's making it really rough to think about going in to work (which I'm doing for eight days straight before vacation), and get things done. Finally dragging myself up and away from the nice cozy little cove of the boy's arms, I stumbled into the bathroom and picked up Dorian Gray, to read another page or two to cling to for the day.

On a previous reading of the book, I'd marked a small heart next to a description of the breaking dawn. I read that portion slowly, thinking the beauty of the words might help me find some motivation for the day. But as I kept reading... I could scarcely believe how perfectly the words on the page pinned down the lurking gloom in my soul the last few mornings. (I could read this book forever.)

      There are few of us who have not sometimes wakened before dawn, either after one of those dreamless nights that make us almost enamoured of death, or one of those nights of horror and misshapen joy, when through the chambers of the brain sweep phantoms more terrible than reality itself, and instinct with that vivid life that lurks in all grotesques, and that lends to Gothic art its enduring vitality, this art being, one might fancy, especially the art of those whose minds have been troubled with the malady of reverie. Gradually white fingers creep through the curtains, and they appear to tremble. In black fantastic shapes, dumb shadows crawl into the corners of the room, and crouch there. Outside, there is the stirring of birds among the leaves, or the sound of men going forth to their work, or the sigh and sob of the wind coming down from the hills, and wandering round the silent house, as though it feared to wake the sleepers, and yet must needs call forth sleep from her purple cave. Veil after veil of thin dusky gauze is lifted, and by degrees the forms and colours of things are restored to them, and we watch the dawn remaking the world in its antique pattern. The wan mirrors get back their mimic life. The flameless tapers stand where we had left them, and beside them lies the half-cut book that we had been studying, or the wired flower that we had worn at the ball, or the letter that we had been afraid to read, or that we had read too often. Nothing seems to us changed. Out of the unreal shadows of the night comes back the real life that we had known. We have to resume it where we had left off, and there steals over us a terrible sense of the necessity for the continuance of energy in the same wearisome round of stereotyped habits, or a wild longing, it may be, that our eyelids might open some morning upon a world that had been refashioned anew in the darkness for our pleasure, a world in which things would have fresh shapes and colours, and be changed, or have other secrets, a world in which the past would have little or no place, or survive, at any rate, in no conscious form of obligation or regret, the remembrance even of joy having its bitterness, and the memories of pleasure their pain.

- from The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde. (text snagged from Project Gutenberg)

Labels: , , ,

I just took out the garbage (since sooooomebody forgot to do it before he abandoned me for the week!). There was a furry thing on top of the dumpster. A furry thing with a big fluffy ringed tail. "Geeet off of there! Go on!" It ran around the side of the dumpster, and I noticed two knawed corn cobs on the ground. I had to laugh, that's so classic it felt unreal. The raccoon peered down at me from the other corner of the dumpster. "Go on, get out of there!"

It's weird, as soon as I saw a raccoon, my brain went "careful it might be rabid". I think once in my life I have been in the same neighborhood as a rabid raccoon, but there was such a big to-do for awhile in my childhood about rabid raccoons being around, that it just always pops into my head.

This one was not. He ran away. And I have to say, as much as I know people dislike their pestiness... they are seriously freaking cute lil critters.

Labels: , ,

A new favorite rice recipe: Carrot Rice, a name which really totally fails to do it justice. Some butter-soaked onion, peanuts, ginger, and grated carrot. I added some raisins as well, and it's amazingly delicious (and cheap! I love delicious + cheap!).

Sometime soon, I am going to have to buy another semi-annual Giant Bag of Rice. I've finally gotten down to just what fits into a Tupperware cereal-saver bin.

Speaking of Tupperware! The party last night was actually pretty fun. Hosted by Sam, and Kate had her first time doing all the presenting (she's going to be an official Tupperware person, it looks like), Amanda (ex-PF crew) and Erin (PF crew), and a handful of Sam's female family members. My cupcakes were loved by anyone who tried them (thanks YET again, Heidi!). I spent a liiiittle more than I'd planned to, but I'm really happy about what I bought (plus, it helps Sam'n'Kate out).

I ordered a handful of basic oval containers for my poor overloaded cupboards, a couple of containers actually designed for the freezer (yay soup-making!), a container that I was promised will KEEP MY VEGGIES EDIBLE for more than two days. The veggie-keeper, I'm actually really psyched about - I was informed that it will actually keep bagged salad fresh for like a week, instead of the 1-2 days it usually survives once opened. Though Tupperware prices look steep at first glance... a) After like two weeks, the veggie thing will pay for itself. I'm miserable every week about how many veggies I have to throw out because they've gone bad before I could finish them up. b) Most of my Tupperware are hand-me-downs from my mom, and they still work beautifully. (Some beige lids are looking a little grubby after so many years, but that's purely cosmetic.) Tupperware is like on par with china, it's stuff you invest in for the life of your kitchen.

I also. got. SOMETHING TO CHOP ONIONS!!! The Tupperware Quick Chef. In like a minute, it made home fries out of three raw potatoes, with like no effort. It does not need to be plugged into anything. It has like three easily-washed pieces. It has a LID THAT CLOSES TIGHT and does not let onion fumes out. A liiittle pricey, but again, the lifetime thing. And the way my recipes have been going, I am going to get a LOT of use out of it. I've made a few salad dressings via Heidi lately, and they're insanely good, but using my blender to make them was pretty inefficient. Also, you can use a different attachment and do things like whip cream in this puppy. (Neither Kate nor her supervising sales rep could tell me if you can beat eggs to stiff peaks with it, buuuut, we shall see.) And make ice cream!!! So many amazing ice cream recipes I've seen this summer, and I've had nothing to make them with. This thing will do a soft-serve style, which is plenty fine by me. I did not mean to go on so long about it. lmao. If I knew enough people around here, I probably could have signed up to host a party. Buuuut, everyone I know is PF crew, and they've had three parties to choose from in the last month already. I think it's pretty well overkilled.

After all the ordering was done, and most family filtered away, Amanda and her mom hung out and talked with Sam and I awhile, then Kate and Sam talked shop with me putting in my two cents now and again. It was actually kind of nice. I suppose it's good for me to get out and talk kitchen with other women now and again. (Tom.. is totally underwhelmed by the Tupperware thing. He thought I was totally nuts when I told him about it.)

In other news, now that Tom's down in NC, he's thinking about staying an extra day or two. His dad's knee is in pretty rough shape (surgery is going to happen in the near future), and, it sounds like he's pretty lonely down there. This is just as well for me - I polished off any potential remaining food-budget for the week at the Tupperware party, and Tom gets tired of rice pretty quickly. ;p

Labels: , , ,

Music nerd folks! Check out In C Remixed. If you're familiar with the Official Classic Piece "In C" (aka, the song where each instrument is given a bar or two to play over and over, at whatever tempo and durations you feel like), you, like me, will find this a much pleasanter sounding way to ingest the random beauty of the thing. If you're not familiar with it, the remixes are still pretty gorgeous. Make sure to snag the free download of "Zinc" by Zoe Keating. I like it so much that I nosed around to find her album, and put it on my wishlist.

In other news, Tom left for his trip to North Carolina to visit his dad and grandma this morning. We ran through a checklist before he left: phone, phone charger, laptop, laptop charger, shower stuff, deodorant, clothes. I gave him a stack of change for tolls, an ice-cold bottle of water, and some... well, they're rice cakes, only not-rice cakes. Kamut, stuck together with agave nectar. (Yes, I habitually buy even-healthier versions of health food. But these are freaking delicious.)

Fifteen minutes later, there's a frantic pounding on my front door.

"Give me keys to my car! - I locked my keys in the car when I went to get gas - someone was nice enough to give me a ride back - but I didn't have your phone number because my phone was in the car too - I need keys."

Laughing, I disentangled my set of car keys from my ring, and gave to him. He sped back out again. I posted this on twitter, and continued my morning internetting.

Ten minutes later, I hear the back screen door swing open, and speedwalking clunking footsteps. "NOW what'd you forget???" "Shut up! Headphones! ... ... ...stop laughing at me!"

I'm still giggling, an hour later - though I do really hope he's actually on his way now. ;) He's always such an insane control freak about traveling (as noted in a previous post about hotel reservations), and I'm always the spazz who suddenly remembers things as soon as we pull out. This is such a lovely little bit of "HA! YOU DO IT TOO!" bwahaha.

Labels: , , , ,


Vintage photo from The Graphics Fairy (where I recently had a good ol' fashioned image-binge), some photos from my own mixed in there, and a good dose of photoshop textures. Mainly, I just couldn't leave that photo alone. It needed to find a way to my desktop. (Phistos have been invading the back of my brain again lately. Re-reading Dorian is not exactly pushing them away.)

In trying to find a certain layer, I turned off the one with the main image in it - and was happily surprised by this! I like it. I suspect it will make an awesome base for other things, as well as being nice just on its own.

Labels: , ,

Posts have been scarce, I know. I've been on Twitter a looot, since most things are just fleeting little thoughts. But in other news, there has been:
- A walk through town (where I bought an old book on the Johnstown flood! woo!).
- Lots of cooking (macaroni salad = awesome, potato salad still kind of a fail, no idea why).
- Paper Factory picnic, where everyone brought food, Tom kicked total ass at croquet, and a good time was had by all despite drizzy weather
- Lots of banners and invitations and things (some headaches, some awesome).
- Saw Iron Man 2 - though the highlight of that trip was probably DJ's usual insanity as we (Tom, me, DJ and his gf) had burgers at Red Robin afterwards.
- Mom's graduation from MCC up in Rochester - we made a day of it, tried out the Ethiopian place, finally made it to Niblack where I got spices, hung out with family. I worked on a pretty blue doily all through the usual ceremony speeches.
- Dad and Mel came down for a visit on the fourth, we wandered around town, I introduced them to Campi's pizza (which is amazing), hit up a farm stand, and ate whoopie pies in the town commons.

Finished a few crochet things - I have a new shirt, a new pull-over tank top, and several new doilies. Making a giant insane doily for Tom's grandma, who he'll visit soon. Worried about finishing a mobius wrap (in yummy bamboo yarn) because I'm not sure I have enough yarn left, aaand I was sent the wrong yarn twice before I got that one. Yarn! I won free yarn from Phat Fiber! I have no idea what I'm going to do with it yet, and since it's 99% wool I hardly want to even touch it right now, pretty as it is.

My coworkers are all having Tupperware parties - I was stuck working for the first two, but the third I get to go to, that'll be this Tuesday at Sam's. Sam's making food plans and I suspect it is going to be a very fun evening, despite Tom's comments. A coworker is also an Avon lady now, I just placed my first order through her last night. I love Avon's stuff, and I'm glad to help Ashley out while getting stuff I want. ;) (Plus, catalogs mean I can at least sort of trust color swatches, and better define exactly what shade of pale my skin is.)

I'm trying to do more art, because I feel twitchy when I don't, and depression sneaks up on me. (I had a very, very rough night earlier this week. Rationality never can overcome 1am insomniac insecurities.) I did some actual physical sketches last week while enjoying the summer sun... and wound up with a pretty little flower sketch I really like, as well as a ridiculous sunburn on my legs. ;p

It has been insaaaaanely hot this past week. 90s most days, and I live in a brick oven that does noooot cool down. Heat finally broke today, it's been raining and was supposed to only hit 77. (10am in the bedroom? still something like 88. blehhhh.) Humidity makes a cranky Melissa. And there have been far more migraines than I've had in awhile. Heat has also thrown a serious monkeywrench into my newly-attempted exercise routine.

My plants keep dying and I don't know why. (This was before the heat wave.) Some kind of little gnat-like bug got into them, and when I took my mint outside to attempt some resuscitation, I found there were little cobwebs all around the stem! booo. My passion flower and sugar plant are still doing amazing though, and what I assume is a forget-me-not (it's a very different flower from the one I'd expected, but still similar) is blooming away happily.

Tom has all kinds of vacation time he needs to take asap, so he'll be off for nearly two weeks starting... sometime next week. He's planning on some serious immersion-time in his 3D modeling... and I'm hoping he sticks with it, because if he paws at me for attention all morning every morning before I go in to work, I am never going to get anything done.

Counting down the days 'til our trip to Florida for the Star Wars convention! woo! (Though this also means Tom has been on my back for a week and a half about making ABSOLUTELY OH GOD CERTAIN that our hotel reservations are, in fact, reservations, even though they haven't charged me any money yet. They have my credit card number on hold as a deposit, if I cancel I will be charged $70-something. The actual bill is paid at the end of your hotel stay. I know this. Tom is not reassured because he's convinced that, because I'm a scatterbrain about a lot of things, I'm a scatterbrain about EVERYTHING. Sooo, I have sent emails to three places now, trying to get 100% confirmation that will satisfy even Mr. Travelling Paranoid.)

...I did not mean for that to be a mini-rant, but, really, it feels damn good to get that off my chest. ha.

Next post: new wallpaper!

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , ,